Mind Over Matter: Effective Chronic Pain Control Techniques

I was brought up “Mind Over Matter/No Pain No Gain”, and am by nature a very competitive person- after I fell and hurt my back I did every thing I could think of to deny the pain and aching I felt- feeling that I was weak if I were to give in, and that I only had a limited amount of time left before I would not be able to do anything- I took leadership classes, never said No to any project, tried to be the Best that you could be, worked twice as hard at work and at play, volunteered, mediated, translated, and all the while with deliberating pain in my low back and right leg and foot- I Preyed and Preyed and hoped that the more people I helped, maybe God would help me and take the pain away if I was a better person as well as give us a child- well I have realized that perhaps because I was doing all the things I thought were important to other people to impress them, and things I wanted to do, was not what He wanted me to do- and man- did He shut me down and make me pay attention, when I was told that no more physical therapy would help and I needed surgery, and my family and co-workers were begging me to go, I cried and was so scared- I guess I do not know really what my point is in responding to this one except that with out these coping techniques and the people who have made Healing Others a priority in life, my life would not be possible- just that we are all given limitations for some reason, maybe perhaps to re-focus us, or to show us another door or path- or to humble us when we get to confident and cocky- sometimes when we are forced to be confined we can learn to just "BE" (I have allot of trouble with this) but am trying to have patience with myself, and not get frustrated at my inability and having to ask for help still- I am one year and five months post l5-s1 lumbar surgery, artificial disk, and laminctomy- I also finally conceived much to our surprise, but then had a miscarriage at 3 ½ months, and then another the day before I turned 30 in January, I was only 2 weeks late- It really was very scary having two miscarriages and still having trouble holding a gallon of milk I was so scared about delivery and being a mother finally, the follow up spine surgeon who took over after my Doctor retired was not helpful and said he could not treat a pregnant woman in my condition but good luck with the OBGYN though he was nice enough, his nurse was very blond and very rude, the OBGYN said do what ever the Spine Doc recommends, ect… I think the miscarriages were maybe a blessing in disguise, I do not want a baby with birth defects from all the medication I am on or when I can not hold and love it, the due date for the first would be around April 24, which is just about my husband grandfathers one year anniversary of his death, we had been excited that we would have a grandchild for them on that day, and it hurts every time I look at the ultrasounds, so this month is going to take a whole hell of a lot of positive focus not to get sad. Most recently the follow up Doc says he can no longer accommodate my workman’s comp or work requirements of letter for documentation like my previous Doctor, because of his workload with his surgery of his patience and what is necessary documentation to authorize me for travel, for my light duty, and retraining takes to much time, it was very scary and sad, I am trying to figure out what to do next, or who to go to next, but I just got baptized on Easter, because I feel so thankful and try to concentrate on what I should be grateful for- it takes allot because some days are good, but then the bad days are sometimes really bad, and I cry and am so scared that I messed my back up or will not be able to do the things I love to do at work or with my husband or for my community again and I miss the Doctor that did the surgery because I trusted him and felt confident, but then I rest and prey and ask why and have started asking God to show me the way- what is it he wants from me, as it is obviously not what I want to do, but that I am so thankful for all the things I have done in my life, I was feeling like it was not enough, that I had to make people realize this island is not that bad, that local people here do good things and have potential and not negative, and that there is hope, my husband and family keep reminding me that I have accomplished a lot, and though I denied it these last months, to busy feeling sorry for myself, I realized with help from those who have preyed over me at church and helped heal with cranial sacral and healing touch massage therapists and PT, that I had done more then most people do in three lifetimes at a young age- so I just ask that he show me what it is I am meant to do now in this new chapter of life, what is next or as my husband says “What is your next Vision Quest”, going to Mass (Sorry it does sound corny) has really helped me, the support and the repetition of the chanting and learning about how sorrow and suffering can be channeled into something greater then oneself- I do not know if I am making sense- but I am really trying to give up my idea of what "Normal" is, and what I am going to do with this "New" I do not want to sit around crying and in pain all the time, I do not want to have to ask someone to drive me to work or to help me or then get frustrated because I am so slow and it takes me so long (ironically things that used to drive me crazy about other people, and now I am that slow person) I just want to feel like I am worthy, and good, and not lazy or have people look at me like oh- back surgery- or disabled- or workman’s comp (the stigma here is so bad I get so embarrassed when I can not carry my own weight around, or need to use the stick in front of people, but recognizing that is a big issue of depression worrying about what other people think- letting go of EGO, Pride, and judging people) or how unfortunate- she had so much potential- those are things I am trying to grabble with and overcome and still smile and be nice and face the challenges instead of running back to the safety of the bed- as what does really matter- family, friends, and working hard at whatever you are doing with all your heart is important, even if it is not what you planned and said it was what you were going to do when you are 14 years old- it is ok to follow through on things, but sometimes you need to reassess yourself as you get older and realize that plans are made to supplement, adjust, and have alternatives and options- it helps to not care what other people think, and to learn that just "Achieving and Reaching" is ok, it is not always necessary to prove yourself by "Overachieving and Overreaching" because you can not do a good job of helping others if you do not recognize when you help, and when others look to you to light the way and find solutions, you have to be 100% even if that is not what you were when you were doing things 150%, it is ok not to be a full leader or have responsibility with everything that needs help to get it accomplished, other people need to be responsible to make things work, and delegating is acceptable- just learning to rest, be at peace, and grateful and thankful for the ability to still wake up every morning and the possibility and probability of a good future, is up to each of us- my quote has always been from my father "What you do today determines your tomorrow"- well sometimes you have to listen to the Pain- because if you do not deal with it early- you will have No Gain- a blown ego- and a body that is old before it's time! Minding your Matter is also important, because it is like all the elders have always said- “do not grow up to fast”- and then one day you wake up and you are 30 feeling like 70 with a back of an 90 year old- But hey... I still did and plan on doing a lot more with my life- it is just on a different pathway then I thought it would be- and sometimes letting go of childhood dreams of doing it all and getting A+++ and stars on everything is not reasonable, sometimes a C is ok, and asking for help and not trying to be superwoman to everyone- really does help set you free when you ask God for guidance and help- ok- I hope I made sense- without the help from my family, church, and massage therapists, and physical therapist working with me and putting up with my semi-drugged lazy, whiny, depressed, complaining ass- I do not know if I would still be sitting here typing this today- as some days seem so dark- like a nice sunny day and I want to go out in the boat with my husband on a weekend but instead cry in bed all day because I am scared to go in a boat, or they are doing something at work with the fish or field work and I am stuck in the office with the stupid computer popping pills because I am afraid of the bumps in the road, then feeling worried that people are talking behind my back thinking I am a pill popper or making jokes about me- it will send me into a two day tailspin of self hating and crying because I am scared to step outside or let anyone see what kind of shape I am until I am back in shape and strong and confident again, I do not want people to see me till I am stronger, like many people said above- this transition time really sucks- but each day I am figuratively sticking my toes further back into the water and back outside as this is my obstacle to overcome and learn whatever lesson that is hidden in this from God- simple yard work and gardening with my husband for an hour- then three on the couch or in bed, but what a blessed hour to spend with the one you love outside instead of inside, he is so amazingly patient with me, a longer walk without the walking stick- just recognizing that the gravel roads and potholes are bad and try to avoid any unnecessary travel and I can maintain longer without larger does of medication, and then accepting the rest afterwards and using the techniques above, massage, ice and heat packs, and Energy Healing, (HEAT PADS and the Happy Eyes Sun Lamps help a little to when it snows or weather changes it really hurts the worse) and preying and reflecting, and thank GOD for Oxycodon and vitriol and flexural! I do not think I like the Lyrical, but am taking it three times a day- it makes me feel kinda weird and too talkative, but does not help my foot or back like the Celebrex did before the surgery, but I am able to go longer without the Oxy if I limit my activity to house cleaning, small walks, cooking meals, limited hours of working in the office, and lots of resting, I can try do to something on the weekend with my husband, but when there is that immanent breakthrough pain and it starts, I regret not having more Oxy in my system, because they do not work as good as they used to and I am trying to make them last till I see the Doc next- but I think if I can maintain this activity level and not get impatient I can accept this lot in life and make the best of it- as I learn that I do not need to prove myself to my co-workers, family, friends, community, or be competitive, that I can learn to accept and be content- then I can have a sort of life back even if it is not what I had thought I wanted it to be or at the stage I thought I would be at by now- only I can make me happy- and then after that I can start making other people happy again- I hope this helps, as it really helped me with at least a half smile myself, and maybe it is a sign, but the sunshine just peaked out of behind the clouds a little- I am such a dork! But a thankful and hopeful and optimistic Dork! May peace be with you all, and may we all learn, grown, and improve together along this journey and adventure called life through all the friggen Roller Coasters of Emotions and Events and Opportunities we choose to allow ourselves as we fight to be Pain Free and search for those that can help us find the right way to accomplish that like the people who write these articles and help us understand we are not alone with Spine.com-