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Does anyone care

ellineellin Posts: 188
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:25 AM in Lower Back Pain
Ok if you do not have back pain, neck pain you do not know how we feel right??? I am so sick of people telling me oh take a tyl. use ice, use heat. Like duh don't you think I know??? 8} I am up to my limit with this pain. As most of you know I have had way too may injections, had the R.F done (nerve burn) for the L.B and neck and now after only 3 months of really no pain to cry about it's back. Had to go to another PM because my PM says I am done with treatment because it is too soon to do anymore. I now am going to go for yet another injection and did not want too. I was told by the nuro spine Dr. that I am not a surgey canidate because of all the arth. in my back. 5 herniated dics in L.B 3 in cervical area what in the world I thought that they can fix this problem. I went to a nuro. Dr. years ago and he told me the shots will not work and I need surgery so why all the flip flop on opnions?? That even makes me feel more uncomfortable. I talk to my friends and they say oh we know you do not want to go out but, I just wanted to tell you us gals are getting together. By the way did that Ice help. Oh dear G-D I need to give them this web address and see what we all go threw. SO, much for my vent. Sorry.


  • It is hard for those who have not experienced what we go through to understand just how painful these can be. Just all that arth. itself would send a normal person in spasms! At least you have us here at SH...we are like a big extended family and really care about each other. I don't have neck problems, so I can't relate to that, but I know how awful the lower back problems are! Take care of yourself, ok?
  • make that same excuse for insensitive people. That they just don't understand because they have not experienced it. But, my husband had a good point. He said OK tell them let me step on your hand and see how long you can stand it! That really made me stop making that excuse for the insensitives out there.
  • I have the problems in my cervical,but not lumbar..I'm curious-does one hurt you more than the other? I realize the pain is probably different and maybe you can't compare the two..but I often wonder about this when reading about people with problems in more than one area on the spine/back.

    I've had pain in my lumbar area of course,but not degenerative discs,herniations,etc.,just pain and spasms.

    Also-I know what you mean~other people can't understand.I don't even bother trying to explain or even tell anyone about my pain.Even my B/F who is very compassionate just doesn't know..I can tell because if he did I know that he would not want or expect me to do much of anything around the house.I try not to mention my pain even to him,and sometimes I find myself feeling a little mad(inside)..even though it's not his fault because I choose to keep quiet about it.I have to remind myself all the time not to take it out on him.

    In my research of ESI's I have learned that too many can actually cause more problems and pain down the road.Maybe that is why you Dr doesn't want to do any more at this time?
  • Can you get another opinion? I don't go out and co-workers stopped emailing me. Extended family know I'm ill and for 10 months not even one get well card. Do you wear a brace or use something to ease the pain? If it's any comfort we're your friends. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Ellin,
    Pain makes us into people that even we do not recognise and where did the real me go, I am still here, under all that angst and experience, and if at times I did not like myself, how could I expect others to see the real me.

    We sometimes push those people away that can help us most and living this life as others, is not easy and anyone who said it is, is enduring an alternative experience that most here are living with every day.

    YOU are responsible for you, in thought word and deed, it took imposed learning to appear calm and I am the best actor that I know and worthy of any Hall of Pain. We all need to vent at times and we have to learn to live with the pain rather than in it, you need a plan if the one you are using is not working, you could carry on being miss angry knickers as I could, Mr angry pants, did it help, did it help me, it pushed people away, and took equally energy and frustration to be that person and keep that mode going.

    If we await the notion that others not in pain, through our comment will empathise with us more, we may have a long wait, and I could shout from the highest mountain and you’re who cares would be equally lost. However hard it becomes, you have to take some control and change the things you can, and manage the things you cannot.

    Who cares, well all do we live this life too, all that frustration angst anger and fear hidden away in our secret place, unseen but never forgotten.

    Have a look at Dr Forrest, it may help.

    Take care John
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,722
    That would be the people who live day to day in chronic pain. Its very difficult for others to understand what you go through. Most of the time, chronic pain is not visible, so many times, people will greet you and say Oh, you are looking good, you must be feeling better Those type of comments have driven me through the roof before. So, besides your immediate family who can see what you go through each day, they might not feel it or understand but they can witness what impacts pain has on you.
    As far as others,I got so tired of people asking how my back was, etc, I wouldn't even answer, but instead, ask them a question, just to get it off topic.

    I would look for any second or third opinion. Many times I've read member's post which state they are not surgical candidates. While that can be true for many, in some situations, its that their 'doctor' says you are not a candidate. Even with severe arthritis, surgery for the spine is viable.

    Now to answer Robin's question. Does one problem in one spinal area hurt more than another part? I had/have problems and surgeries in all spinal sections (but no surgery for Thoracic) and I would have to say that each area presents a different pain.
    Cervical would generally give me stabbing/burning pain at the base of my neck, radiant pain down one of my arms and numbness in my fingers.
    Lumbar and associated sciatic pain would show everytime I got up, sat down, burning stabbing pain down my right leg, very difficult to find a good position.
    Thoracic For me, this has been the most intense and difficult pain. There really isnt a comfortable position, there is a constant burning in the middle of your back, there is tightness, as though you want to crack your back, I have had numbness down both arms, etc. I could go on and on about Thoracic problems. Add to that,until very recently, the Thoracic surgery was based on medieval procedures. Ony recently have new techniques been introduced and even those are not simple procedures

    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Thank you all >:D< I came home from work today and thought I would try some R.R I did have a good night sleep last night I took more than norm. for me oxycontin and advil. I was thinking of calling my Dr. and asking about a brace but, I have been loosing weight and I think that they fit you for this. What happens if you get smaller?? Can you adjust this. I just found my back brace I got from work years ago and am going to start using that. Ok so, regarding my so called friends. Get this one. They all called and said oh we had such a good time too bad you never feel well enough to come. Well, I lost it. I told them all until you can treat me better do not call. I tried to explain that I am not myself because this pain I am in. On it went. I feel like a complainer because when I did go out I would sit too long or ? and say oh my back or my neck and they just looked at each other like oh here she goes again. SO, why do they even want to invite me out than?? Oh well, I do not need friends like that. Mind you we are all in the nursing field. :? Well, thanks for your response to my posting. And I do have better friends here.
  • Thoracic is awful! Sometimes I want to crack my back on the stairs, chairs or bed. I actually used to do that just to relieve that tightness. I now put heat and Dr. Ho massage, it's almost like a TENS and it really helps. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Not that any of us have pain.That is just a fact of our lives,but the different kinds and areas..this is weird,but I find it interesting and almost exciting learning about it all.

    Not only the pain~~EVERYthing...the way it branches out into so many areas of our lives,our bodies,minds,etc.-I think it's very important however not to let my pain dictate or rule my mind,because it does decide so much of what I cannot do physically I refuse to let it stop me in my quest for growing in knowledge.

    I read so many times from so many people about others not understanding our pain,and I often ask myself why does it matter.Maybe I think this way because I've been in pain for so long,or maybe it's a personality trait.Regardless,I mean no disrespect-I'm truly curious and this has always been an interesting topic to me.

    Also a QUESTION:Is spinal surgery considered elective surgery unless it is an emergency situation? I'm wondering if that might be the reason that some Drs tell patients that they are not a candidate,but I have nothing to base this thought on.
  • Ellin,
    True friends would help you help yourself and adapt to including you in the overall situation, we cannot complain when we are so good at hiding our symptoms that it infers nobody cares, tell someone you trust. As you Christmas is coming and the invites continue to arrive, pain mandates that we are more assertive and not rude, that balance of disclosure and who and when to tell, can never be retracted and we are sometimes measured by others in our limitations of what they expect we could or should be doing.

    Clearly they do not know your situation and telling then over and over will not change the current view that they have and for your own sanity the reaction from them does not meet your expectation or even natural reaction. By telling others you have empowered them with that knowledge, the trick is not to tell them so they can no use it against you, which will only pander to the insecurity and lack of understanding they have.

    This is a case of the concept that if they knew your situation they will be supportive and that is not the case, they do know and even with that information have not helped. I am careful who I tell for those specific reasons and never let that knowledge to be used against me. Your lifestyle has changed and friends and relationships changed forever, find people who can support you, pretend to be normal even through that hideous pain and see the reaction. All this takes time and practice, every day for us is a new one and just when we might think we have it, it has more and we are playing catch up again. We never attain that illusive mythical utopia and tick all the boxes, all at the same time, however hard we try.

    Take care. John
  • Yeah, it's like riding the medical rollercoaster. I was told after my first surgery that I was no longer a surgical candidate for the time being. 7 months later I had a fusion. Again I'm told no more surgery except to put in a stim or a pump later on, which is yet another surgery :? All doctors have their own opinions and it's good to get a second opinion and compare. But by all means don't rush into it- think it over and ask a lot of questions. I too have DDD all over and it's severe in the lumbar area, and that's where I had surgery. If at any time there is nerve compression, they will want to operate so you don't risk having permanent nerve damage. I have been told that back surgery won't take away the back pain. Then I was told the fusion should help. :? Well all I know is that I still have pain regardless of all treatment I had, including injections.
  • Ellin,

    I have a friend who is a 40 year old woman--in awesome shape, energetic, a trainer--one of those women that most women don't like, but men love. Anyway....her husband and I are good friends and he was training me--trying to help me with my LBP to help avoid surgery. We would train every day and both of them would tell me to overcome the pain mentally. He would tell me that he "hurts every day in some part of his body"--she would say the same thing. I kept telling them that this pain I had was different. That chronic pain--or injury/nerve pain--is totally different then muscular or "working out" pain. They didn't believe me. Well...she got in a car accident and now has bad neck pain. She has had 15 injections the past year or so. She told me that now she understands what I had been saying. She can't work out--she is slowly losing muscle tone--she's bogged down with doctor's appointments. The only people who understand this type of pain are people who have had this type of pain. It really does stink--but you have to have to have to move forward with life with a good attitude. I try to live in the moment--right now, this second, I am very comfortable, sitting here typing--I have some pain--but it isn't a 10. It's hard...keep pressing forward.

  • there is no way people can begin to understand until they spend a minute with this pain. Even just a minute would open their eyes. I certainly took my "former life" for granted.

    I'm reading a book called "Healing Back Pain Naturally - The Mind-Body Program Proven to Work" by Art Brownstein, MD. A colleague of my husband's sent it to me because it helped him. It more addresses back pain related to stress in your life, etc. But it does have some helpful exercises and meditations to do to help you deal with the pain.

    But, towards the end of the book on page 254, he wrote this quote and it really resonated with me:

    "Having been roasted by the hell-fires of chronic pain, today I see that I am a much better person for having gone through the experience".

    I love it - that describes it perfectly.

  • That is the way I think/deal with my life such as it is..but I never tried putting it into words and expressing myself or my thoughts as you have/do.

    Maybe to some it is a single post,but to me your post has opened up a new view ..and helped me learn to express the way I feel about many issues surrounding my lifestyle,not only physical pain.

    Have you ever noticed that once you learn something about yourself..you no longer need it? For example there was a time I wanted so much to be noticed for my accomplishments,and for the people(important ones) in my life to notice things about me and maybe be proud of me..but when that time came..I found I no longer needed it.Ha,it was a bit of a let down on one hand,but it was also such a free feeling.

    I totally agree with you and understand what you are saying,but more than that I really loved the way that you said it.
  • Well, I don't know if I am a better person like your book wrote because I am not at the free from the hell fires of chronic pain, I am so sick right now form the meds I took and I need to go and get ready for work. Oh my and we have rain today. I thank you for all your thoughts.

  • Tips for preventing back strain

    * Don't lift by bending over. Lift an object by bending your knees and squatting to pick up the object. Keep your back straight and hold the object close to your body. Avoid twisting your body while lifting.
    * Push rather than pull when you must move heavy objects.
    * If you must sit at your desk or at the wheel of a car or truck for long hours, break up the time with stops to stretch.
    * Wear flat shoes or shoes with low heels (1 inch or lower).
    * Exercise regularly. An inactive lifestyle contributes to lower back pain.

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