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Bad day

diamondeddiamonde Posts: 185
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:28 AM in Depression and Coping
The pain today is just kicking my butt, nothing is working, totally fed up, cried 5 times today (and counting!) just because... i know i'm tired today, couldn't sleep last night with the pain, then a whole day of this nonsense. I know that hasn't helped me today... It's not normally like this for me, the pain, with the meds, its normally at a level i can handle - its just freaking me out - it feels unpredictable, good day - bad day but you can't count on it, can't plan anything... without thinking about pain. And this blankity blank nerve stuff!!!! I was writing the shopping list today... and my hand froze, couldn't move my hand to write or my fingers! i took about an hour for that to settle down... I want my body back!!! My op is a week away... and now i'm starting to freak...really freak... will it work? what will be better? do i get my body back? will i get back to work?? just basically a crap day... Thank God theres a tomorrow!!

L4-L5 fusion 1998; ACDF C4-6 2008; DDD


  • That you're having such a bad time. No one can be much help at times like these. Venting our frustration is often all we have to work with :( Not being able to do things like write and being in that much pain all at the same time must be awful. Sure wish there was something that would make quick work of this stuff. I've just been sitting here freaking out some more about the SCS trial, topped off now by what I should be doing about what pain meds I do take, even though they don't work real well I sure don't want to give them up.

    I sure hope tomorrow is indeed a better day! For both or all of us!
  • Diamonde, I know exactly where you are coming from. One of the things I have noticed is if I have a bad night of not being able to sleep due to pain the following day is usually horrible for the pain. And I have found that the only thing that helps (and this is just me) is a heat pad and rest. I know that not all people have that particularl luxury. The only reason I do is because my work can not accomodate my work restrictions.
    Know that I am here if you ever need to vent. Just PM me and if you would like I will even give you my email address.
    Hang in there girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Don’t ya just love Gone With the Wind! And yes… tomorrow (today) is a better day! I’ll tell ya, that writing thing just freaks me out when it happens! I soooo need to write for my job!! Just have to wait n see on that particular symptom…. But today is better! I’ve organized a home visit from my hairdresser!! She’s coming tomorrow yippee!! Get rid of my roots!! I’d like to thank you both so much for your support and understanding, something that isn’t expected, but is freely given…. What would we do without SH?? ~X(

    Wrambler, take care of yourself, don’t get too stressed about the trial… (pot calling kettle black me thinks here…) you’ll be there soon enough for the SCS, it will come, it will pass… and please God, the SCS will relieve your pain! I so hope it does. >:D<

    Jacque, you too! >:D< And boy do I know what you mean about sleep messing everything else up; when that happens for me, I can count on my pain cycles going haywire! You mentioned your heating pad… I’ve got a wheat bag (pinkie ) that you warm up in the micro. Just love my pinkie!! Nothing better than wrapping it around my neck and shoulders ahhhhhhh bliss! My friend said that after I recover from op… that we should have a ceremonial burning of my pinkie!! Lol, no way… no one comes between me and my pinkie!

    Again, thank you so much for listening and for your support…. Maybe I’ll get to return the favour
    L4-L5 fusion 1998; ACDF C4-6 2008; DDD
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,865
    when you live with Chronic Pain.

    Its the Roller Coaster Ride

    You will have your Good days and you will surely have your Bad days.

    We have had countless posts regarding this subject. Its something that probably does not escape anyone. After years of dealing with this, you sort of learn how to prevent the bad days and enjoy the good ones.
    The trouble is that many times we can not figure out what caused either one!
    I have gone into the bad days even if there was nothing different that I was doing. It made no sense.
    Then the good days, if I could only capture what I did to ensure that continues.
    I think that this is just one of the emotional stresses that people with chronic pain have to deal with. The ups and downs can play havoc with your mental stability. After a few sessions like that and you just ask Why?
    Those are the times we need to have all the strength we can, coming from ourselves or from any of our supporters.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Girl, You have already returned the favor to me by posting and letting your feelings out - regardless of good or bad. I am glad that today is better for you though.
    And I dont blame you about Pinkie.... :))(
    You most likely will want to keep her forever.
    Take care
    Love and prayers,
    Jacque >:D<
  • I feel so bad for u but tomorow will better, girl i have been crying on and off since 5 am i get these f----- up moments i feel like so impatient 5 weeks op i never asked to get hurt on the job!! but i know how y r feeling try to get to sleep early yeah we need r rest, u r going to be fine remeber feelings r always changing, so i hope the sun will come out for u,,, take care,,
  • Group hug >:D<
    You all are just sooooo sweeeeeet!
    Hope you all are having good days too <:P

    Claudia... hang in there hun!! Tomorrow is another day!!(tissue 8} )
    L4-L5 fusion 1998; ACDF C4-6 2008; DDD
  • RangerRRanger on da rangePosts: 805
    Hey there Daimonde and friends,
    I got this thing about people asking how is your day. I usually reply sarcastically, "they are all good, just some are better than others."
    Sleep deprivation plays a huge part in pain and how you function. Rest will
    help you recharge your batteries so to speak so you can stay focused and concentrate on whatever you are doing.
    When I over do it working or just get too tired my fingers also lock up and I get severe leg cramps after resting a while. Wish I had an explanation for it but it goes away after sleeping and I move on.
    Take care,
  • i feel the same way i think that some days our strength is wakened and we buckle but if we did not i dread to think what would happen to us.its like a safety valve.roll on tomorrow
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