The pain today is just kicking my butt, nothing is working, totally fed up, cried 5 times today (and counting!) just because... i know i'm tired today, couldn't sleep last night with the pain, then a whole day of this nonsense. I know that hasn't helped me today... It's not normally like this for me, the pain, with the meds, its normally at a level i can handle - its just freaking me out - it feels unpredictable, good day - bad day but you can't count on it, can't plan anything... without thinking about pain. And this blankity blank nerve stuff!!!! I was writing the shopping list today... and my hand froze, couldn't move my hand to write or my fingers! i took about an hour for that to settle down... I want my body back!!! My op is a week away... and now i'm starting to freak...really freak... will it work? what will be better? do i get my body back? will i get back to work?? just basically a crap day... Thank God theres a tomorrow!!
L4-L5 fusion 1998; ACDF C4-6 2008; DDD