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Hello All!

PeggyMPPeggyM Posts: 129
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:36 AM in New Member Introductions
Hi Everyone,

I've been lurking for quite some time, reading everything I can. I live in England and my son lives in Florida. He is 38, disabled, divorced and the main carer of his 2 little boys, 6 & 8. He is currently looking for a new doctor. He has had 3 different diagnoses, numerous MRIs, has tried ESIs, and other conservative methods to try and relieve his pain. He believes it may be time to see if surgery can help him.

You have all been a great help to us and didn't even know it! So a great big thank you to all of you! I'm sure you will be hearing more from me soon. I've tried to encourage my son to join but he has a rough time sitting in front of the computer. I think it would be so good for him to have friends that are also "Spineys" and can understand how he feels.



  • i welcome you to our site and hope your son will tune in to our wave length. its tough when you cant sit long at the computer because of pain. i go through that a lot. I'll sit for a few minutes then i have to shift around for a while before i can return.
    plus your son has the 2 kids to watch. i'll bet he wished there were 36 hrs in a day. well maybe one of these days i'll meet him and greet him as i am greeting you. we do have lots of experience here and would love to share it....pete
  • We have many members from the Florida area. This is a very supportive site, has saved me from many days of doom and gloom, lol. Does your son have a laptop? Is he more comfortable lying down? Many of us have trouble sitting. Hope he will join. By the way, I have made a very dear friend from England. She stayed with me during her first trip to America! How great is that?!?

    Best to you,

  • Hi Pete,
    Yes, I know my son could sure use 36 hrs in the day. It is very difficult for him to get up early and take the kids to school. On the weekends he can take his time getting up. I know not to call him until after noon his time.
    I really hope he will join as he could really use some friends. Most of his have disappeared over the last few years as he's not much fun anymore. He was such an active person when he was younger. Loved surfing more than anything. Now he just takes the boys to the beach and sits in the warm water. Good for his soul he says.

    Hi Marianne,
    My son does have a laptop but mostly uses his pc. My husband and I bought it for him a year ago thinking he would find it easier to use but he doesn't seem to use it much.
    How nice that your friend from England came to visit you!It is tough being so far away from my son and grandsons. I miss them terribly. It is tough being an expat. My son became disabled about a year after I moved here to marry my husband. I lived in Florida for 30 years but then moved back to my native Canada for 1 1/2 years before moving to England.

    Thanks again for welcoming me. I know I will be needing advice from time to time. Just hope we can find a new doctor for him and that he can find some relief.

    Gentle hugs,
  • hi and welcome to the forum! :H we are here to offer you support and answer what questions we can. i am so glad you quit lurking and stopped by. =D> we can be a big help to you and in turn that may help your son.. :? he is so lucky to have you.. :X please stop by anytime.. :D and give your son our number! LOL! spiney hugssss, >:D< Jenny :)
  • I am sorry to hear that your son is suffering so much. There may be a way that he can set up his computer if he does not have a laptop so that he will be comfortable online. Most of us know how your friends seem to dwindle away when you are a chronic pain patient. He really would find so much understanding and support here. He may likely already be suffering from depression or may soon be as chronic pain and depression seem to go hand in hand. Good luck to you and your son and I hope to meet him here soon.
  • Yeah, my son is having a very hard time. He is still really broken up from his wife abandoning him and the boys and leaving him with no money and no where to live. We helped him find a little house and he finally got food stamps but SS gives them so little to live on it is very hard for him and we can only help so much.
    He has suffered from depression for many years but is being treated for it. I do think he could use some counseling for his marital breakup. His boys are taking it very hard and I know that hurts him terribly.
    Thanks for the good wishes and hopefully one day he will find his way here. In the meantime I will research doctors and procedures that could possibly reduce his suffering.

  • Peggy, welcome to SH. It was a good idea to buy your son a laptop. Does your son have a wireless LAN? Many of us think a wireless LAN is essential. I cannot sit to use a PC. I use my laptop computer lying supine. The laptop connects to the wireless router, and thence to the Internet. A bed desk supports the laptop above my abdomen. Bed desks from various manufacturers are available online. Just a thought.
  • Hi Pegggy,
    Welcome, we are all very supportive of and for each other. We are here for you and your son hon.
    Whenever he's ready.tell him ," no worries of making friends,its ok,you already have friends there"
    I too had very hard time sitting in front of pc didnt last long but now have lap top and is SO much easier.
    One night, night before a surgery I found out my H was cheating on me, I delt with it, and not very well thankyou,for a year, he never left her. Then I made the hardest decision of my life and had to leave after 25 yrs together,]. I simply was no longer who he had married and just was no fun anymore.
    I too am stuggeling on ssd and ssi and medicaire, medicaid, food stamps. You know that story.
    I bet the boys hurt much after the divorce But I bet they hurt about weather dad is going to be ok more than anything. My oldest now 30 suffers from depr and felt bad he needed help, because he thought I was going through More than he was, and shouldnt be feeling sorry for himself.
    And i told him, honey, we ALL suffer different things in a lot of different ways, but that does Not make what I go through harder for me than what you are going through for you!
    I think then he understood it was ok to feel what he was feeling and not guilty beacause he thought I was suffering more than he was.
    When I left H my kids 29 and 30 didnt know what to do, they worried MOST about weather I was going to be ok through this. Then my sight was more on how they felt than on myself. At least for awhile anyhow. I still give this big front when being with or talking to them so they dont feel bad or for me.
    Well I made this a letter, Im sorry!
    But ya know, maybe if it helps, if he knows youve been here, print out some of our responses for him and send them.
    I dont pretend to have all the answers, boy, Im the Last one! ha! But we are here for him and for you too!
    My love and prayers to all of you, God Bless, Blessed/Arlye
  • Hi peggy,
    Welcome to spine-health. Glad to hear you are trying to find ways to help your son. Maybe you could make a post looking for members in florida. You could them speak through email and or pm asking them what doctors they are using and who they liked. Worth a try we have about 11,000 members. Also you may want to use the search feature on doctors to see if you get any hits near him, as well. What are your sons back issues. What types of treatments has he tried so far? Do you know what meds he is currently taking? Well just thought i would stop by and welcome you and son to spine-health. Look forward to reading more of your post. Take care.

  • I think my son feels most comfortable in his recliner. I bought him a "hospital table" off ebay to help him use the laptop but he doesn't seem to use it much. He does have wireless so he is good to go with it. He has never used the computer much even though I try to encourage him, hoping he will find some new friends.
    Oh well, maybe in a few months when he is more "over" his divorce he will get back to living his life.
    Thanks for your suggestions!


  • I have a friend on another support group whose name is Blessed and she is just wonderful. I think you must be just like her!You have been through so much yourself and yet you take the time to give support to other folks in need.
    I'm sorry to hear you and your husband split up after 25 years. I did too...at 26 years. It was a very difficult thing to do. It is a very long story and not for this board but I do understand what you've been through with that. My son was married for 15 years and together with his wife for almost 18. He loved his wife so much and has really had a hard time coming to terms with her leaving.
    I think it would be a great idea to print out some of the responses from all of you and send them to him. Thanks for a great idea! It might just cheer him up a bit.
    I think more than anything he needs something to take his mind off her and off his pain a bit. He used to love to draw and paint but hasn't in years so I bought him everything he needs to paint but he hasn't touched it yet. I'm still hoping he will get back into it. He was so good he could have done it for a living and still could I think.
    Gosh, I've turned this into a book! Sorry!!
    Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for all your pain and thank you for your support.

  • What a great idea! I will put a post in the appropriate area and ask for doctor recommendations!

    My son has been treated for his back problems for about 4 years now (I think). He hurt his lower back many years ago skateboarding and then has had a couple of car accidents that have caused more problems. Then about 2+ years ago he fell in a convenience store / gas station. There was nothing on the floor so he figures he had oil on his shoes from the forecourt. He fell backwards and was unconscious for a few minutes. Then the neck problems started.
    He has had 3 different doctors and each has wanted to do something different. He had good insurance then. Now he only has Medicare so is looking for one who will take that. He needs another MRI as his are out of date now.
    His PM doctor just changed his meds again so I'm not sure exactly what he is taking.He also sees a doctor for his depression and has been on meds for that before the back issues.
    Thanks again for your great suggestion! You guys all rock!!

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