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Please send positive vibes

noseovertailnnoseovertail Posts: 387
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:40 AM in Matters of the Heart
I just found out last night that my father has cancer. We don't know the extent of it yet and won't until his CT scan tomorrow, but needless to say I'm worried sick. I'm trying to remain positive for him and for my own recovery, but it's getting difficult. My husband hasn't exactly been comforting me or supportive, so I guess I might need some support from my spiney friends instead. :( If you can, please send positive thoughts & vibes for my father. Thank you.


  • I am so sorry to learn of your father's illness. Did this come on suddenly or has he been ill? I know you can count on everyone on the board to keep him and your family in their prayers, send good thoughts, positive energy -- whatever feels appropriate to each member.

    Take care of yourself, too. Your continued healing is very important too. You will need to keep your own needs in mind even as you worry about your dad and try to be there for the rest of the family.


  • You can count on us for support day and night.

    I will keep you and your family in my prayers, during this difficult time.

    I put myself in your place and this news must be quite shocking for you.

    Please take good care of yourself, think positive.

    Tammy >:D<
  • Thank you Gwennie.

    He has been having issues for about 6 months, but his doctors assumed it was just an infection and have been treating him with strong antibiotics. They just recently went in with a camera (it's bladder cancer) and looked around and took biopsies, that's how we know it's a tumor and it's cancerous. Tomorrow we will find out how large the tumor is, and if it's growing in an upward direction or inward. I guess inward a lot worse. After that they decide how to treat it. His doctors said we likely need to be aggressive with treatment.

    This is the first time anyone I am close with has gotten cancer so I am kind of besides myself, but I'm keeping it all inside. My physical therapist asked me how I'm doing today. When I replied with "just okay" and he asked why, since I'm normally upbeat and happy there, I started crying. It was embarrassing, and it was the first time I cried so far. Now I'm having a hard time not crying every couple minutes. *sigh*
  • :H I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Cancer runs in my family so I do understand your pain. I'm here if you want to talk.

    Had PLIF in 2008 and a Laminectomy. One level fusion, L4-L5.
  • Thanks Tammy & Evelyn. I appreciate it.
  • So sorry to hear of your father's diagnosis. I understand your fear and sadness as I have recently had to deal with my mom's cancer. Thinking of you. Stay strong and know we all care.

  • Thanks Naida. I'm sorry to hear about your mom :( I'll be thinking of you as well.
  • I sent you a fb message but I want to post here too in case you check this first. I'll be praying for your dad and for you. This is hard...my Dad had cancer and he beat it! So we're going to pray and believe that your dad too will be a survivor...and maybe we'll see him in a commercial one day saying "I am a survivor". It is not an easy time until you know then extent and even then it is hard but we're family and though we live so far from you...at least I do....I'm sending you a heartfelt hug and much prayer.

    during this time of stress....PAY ATTENTION to your body signals. Even if you cut your pain meds in half...don't push through the pain because it'll only incapacitate you later.

    Oh friend....I'm crying with you. I've been there and since I'm still recovering from my own surgery I understand!!!! I truly do!!!!

    Be well, be strong and stay positive! But if you have to break down and cry, there's no shamein that!

    Keep in touch....either way...here or fb!

  • are coming your way. I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of this now. You know that you can always lean on your friends here and count on us for support and encouragement. Please do keep us posted.
  • Andrea,

    Like the others have said, my thoughts are with you and your family during such a tough time. Its OK to cry, you need to let out your emotions. Don't be embarassed to cry in front of others, its totally understandable.

    Continue to take care of yourself. You'll be in my thoughts, take care,
  • N.O.T
    I'm so sorry to hear of your father's diagnosis. It's a very scary thing to see a parent go through.

    You have a facebook? Send me an IM if you wanted to add each other as friends.

    I went through this with my grandmother. I did as much research as possible and went to as many of her appts as I could. I was also dealing with my back issues at the same time and was still working and going to school part time. I went on disability about 2 months after her dx so it was easier to be there for her.

    If you ever need a shoulder to cry on or have any questions please feel free to ask. I'm here to support you and help you through this tough time. Your father, you and your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

    Please take time out to take care of yourself too. Added stress can cause more pain with your back so please take it easy. You won't be able to be there for your father if you are not taking care of yourself.

    Your Spiney Friend,
  • Thinking of you.....and your dad......
  • Please check your text, and tweets. Reach me any way you want. Don't be embarassed to cry, as hard as it is, it is better to release it. I "heart" you my friend and I am praying for your Dad. Contact me when you can.
  • Healing vibes on the way to you both.

    Peggy x
  • nose,I just got on this forum-I am so sorry about your dad!---I don't get on these forums much,so I dont know what is going on---I will try to do this more often-please know my thoughts are with you--Jeannie
  • nose I have been away for awhile and just returned and seen this post of yours.

    I am so sorry this is happening.

    Any test results back yet?

    Prayers :)
    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
  • hi
    its very emotional to deal with..my heart goes out to your dad..
    my brother passed of colon cancer but he caught it fast and treated and lived many yrs cancer free....you will need prayers and they are happening from all your spiney friends..
    be strong yourself
    and for him he will need alot of positive thinking and thoughts around him...
    pls. cry,vent whatever you may need...just tell us
    we are here
    love and hugs to you and yours
    neck,bone spurs pain started 04, back issues and fusion l4,l5 06~hardware removed.
    good few yrs. 09 pain sharp, numbness feet,legs, diagnosed fibro, neurop. legs.lung issues.
    daily goal do good thing for someone.
  • Thank you for the nice replies. I've had a lot on my plate the past few days, it's been really hard. My husband has not been supportive and we have been having issues on top of me dealing with my back pain & my dad's condition. I've just been a total wreck.

    My dad's CT scan was inconclusive. It didn't show that anything was there at all. I also found out that it was from a year ago, they didn't give him another one which boggles my mind. He has an appointment on Wednesday to get the cancerous stuff 'scraped' away. After they scrape it they burn the cells with a roller-type thing to try to ensure it doesn't come back. He may need a few scraping procedures done to get rid of all of it. If it looks worse than they thought (last time it was very inflamed and they could hardly see in there) then we start talking about chemo and other more aggressive treatment.

    I am going to take my dad on Wednesday. Even though last time killed my back, I have to at least be there to drop him off or I would feel terrible about it. Maybe when he is in the procedure I can go to my car and lay down. My mom is working I think, so I'll be there alone probably.

    I'm really touched by the nice messages on here. Thank you again.
  • Just seeing this now as I venture around the boards more. Your Dad is in my prayers. I'm not sure if you posted any updates but I'm praying for your family.

  • Stopping in here to see how you and your dad are doing?

    My thoughts/prayers remain :)
    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
  • Just saw your post and want to add my prayers to the ones you already have gotten. Also wanted to see how it went yesterday for you. You have alot going on, and it is great for you to take your Dad. But please make sure you get the rest you need. I am hoping that things went well for your Dad, and will be waiting to see a new post from you. Until then, here is a big hug >:D< Love, Robin
  • Hi everyone, thank you for the posts & kind words. I haven't been on much lately.. I have a lot of stuff on my plate right now. My dad has been receiving weekly 'BCG' treatments which is supposed to kill cancer cells in the bladder by using bacteria. He is scheduled for another surgery on March 16th, where they will take more biopsies from his muscle tissue to see if the cancer has spread. I guess last time they either didn't take muscle tissue or didn't take enough. If it spread to the muscle then we have some real problems, since it's a very fast spreading cancer and the next step might be to remove his bladder.

    To be very honest, I am a little angry that the doctor didn't take muscle tissue biopsies from the get go, it doesn't make sense to me to wait so long when the answer could be found just from a simple biopsy. My dad is very stubborn and doesn't want to switch doctors but thankfully we convinced him to see a second opinion which he meets with next week.

    My uncle is an ortho at Cedars Sinai, so we got copies of my dad's biopsy slides and had them sent to the head of surgery at Cedars Sinai as another opinion as well. He agreed that we need muscle tissue to see what's going on, but agreed that the BCG was a proper next step.

    My dad is doing okay, he feels sick from the treatments but he is trying to stay positive. His work situation is causing a lot of stress, his boss is upset with him and is trying to make a hostile work environment for my father. We are not sure why.... but my dad has hired a lawyer and found out that his manager is breaking a *lot* of laws. So we have to figure out where to go with this. I think it's a shame my dad has to deal with this right now, when he should be healing & stress free. He is the most worried about losing his insurance.

    Sorry for the rambling, I haven't really gotten all that out before.
  • oh wow and not a good wow :(

    I am so sorry all this extra stress is happening. But am happy to hear your dad is not taking this laying down and is fighting :)
    L1 - S2 "gone" useless in 1 way or another. DDD. RA. Bone Spurs. Tons of nerve damage/issues. Stenosis. Both knees replaced. 50 yrs old. I had a great fall (hence my user name) at age 41 and it has been a domino effect every since.
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