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Rough day-need to vent

tonyanwisconsinttonyanwisconsin Posts: 189
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:42 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
Just needed to vent a little. Yesterday was the roughest day I have had yet. I am still not sleeping more than 3 or 4 hours at a time. Yesterday I was exhausted. I tried sleeping upstairs in my regular bed (I have a sleep # bed) and was so sore. So back down stairs to the hospital bed I went and slept on and off most of the afternoon. Then I started getting pelvic pains. My cycle is messed up since surgery. It was intense pain and I just started crying. I cried for a good 30min. My husband was like do you need to go to the hospital? He didn't know what to do. I am just frustrated. Tired of having pain at all. Tired of being in my house and not being able to do things. But I felt better after I got it all out. My husband was like are feeling depressed? Your sister told me to watch for that. LOL..I said no I am not depressed just sick and tired. I am 4 weeks post op. Haven't been cleared to drive. Start therapy next week. I am just tired of not being able to do much of anything or feeling like doing it.

Thanks for letting me vent



  • So sorry that youhave been struggling emotionally. Not sleeping well won't help, but you have had a big surgery, and it's perfectly understandable that sometimes you will feel fed up and emotional.

    Try to let your husband know that it is ok, and all he needs to do is be there, listen and give you a very gentle hug.

    The other day, on returning from having my staples out, I had a little cry to my grown up son. He asked if I was upset about something, but I told him that I thought it was just letting emotion out after a big emotionally charged experience. I think it is helpful to let the tears flow if you need to. I've certainly read on here of lots of people doing that - both men and women. It seems to be part of the healing.

    Take care and be a patient patient :-)
  • The early recovery days are very hard and I'm not surprised that you're tired of being in pain. It's fine to vent - we're good listeners.

    I didn't drive until 6 weeks out, so don't be in a hurry to try. Your body will tell you when it's ready to take on that extra activity.

    I didn't start physical therapy until 4 months out, which was the right time for me, but I was out walking every day, as well as doing light stretches and pelvic floor contractions. Are you going to be doing hydrotherapy? Do be very careful with the exercises as you could put yourself into a major pain flare.

    Do keep taking taking your medication on time because it will help you to cope. Has your doctor given you enough to keep you going? I did lots of short walks up and down the patio as well to help relieve the pain, even during the night.

    Your husband sounds like he's very supportive.

    I got the blues with the "four walls syndrome" but it does pass, and you have a good and hopefully pain free future to look forward to; it's just pretty rough in the beginning.

    >:D< >:D<


    XLIF L2-4 20.8.15
    ALIF L4/5 2009
    Laminectomy/discectomy L4/5 2008
  • I remember all to well also wanting to run run run like the wind after my surgery. I was 6 mths down (due to L5 nerve damage from surgery) but after 4 mths was outside (mine was done in the winter and 4 mths was the start of spring) and walking, smelling the start of spring and hearing the birds.

    Let your hubby help you understand its ok to cry, to vent and to be frustrated, but relax as it will get better. That down time is the hardest and makes you want to run to some tropical island and run on the beach like Bo Dereck :)
  • I am 15 months out from the same surgery. It is a long road, but now the weather is changing, it should boost your spirits. I had mine done in Dec so I had to do my walking in my home, as it was to icey and cold here in Iowa. Keep your spirits up. You are through the worst of it. I couldnt drive for 3 months, and the walls did start closing in on me. Take care, Robin
  • How old are you Tonya? Was just wondering because after my micro in 2008 my surgery sent me right into peri-menopause at age 47. My cycles and bleeding was so irregular and also had terrible anxiety. They said between the pain, stress, anesthesia,steroids, just messed up my hormones terrible. I am still not in menopause, but this age is not easy as it is with the hormones and then to throw a major surgical event in the mixture. I am very teary since my current surgery. I cry at the stupidist things, but at least I don't have anxiety. I wouldn't wish anxiety on my worst enemy! I have issues with sleeping too. I think I read after my last surgery that the anesthesia does mess with your melatonin levels which helps you with sleep. Just keep your communication lines open and don't let the sleep thing get too bad. You need sleep to rejuvinate! Talk to your dr if you need something for sleep. Hope toay is a better day. Lynette
  • Sorry that you are having such pain. We fusion patients all know what you are going through. I think that the 3-4 week point is particularly difficult, because it is at that time when you are really getting over the surgery/anesthesia part, and are moving around more.

    I am 18 weeks post op, and remember Gwennie telling me that I would begin to feel better between 8-12 weeks, and to pace myself to minimize inflammation from over doing it. She has been spot on with advice; so I am just passing it on.

    At this point...walk, rest, walk, rest. I still have to use this mantra.

  • I'm only 8 weeks post TLIF at L5-S1 and hear you. I had the same exact problem yesterday as well. I've been struggling all week but yesterday the flood gates just sprung open. My poor husband. He has been so helpful with everything and just doesn't know what to do when I cry for no reason or cry for every reason I can think of. My cycle has been messed up as well and I'm wondering if that has played into my emotional ups and downs. I have a follow-up appointment tomorrow and know I'm anxious about that as well since I had some not good news at my first follow-up. I'm anxious about getting released to go back to work and to drive. Like you, the "four wall" syndrome has gotten to me. Am just glad the weather has gotten nice and that has helped a little.

    I hope you're having a better day today. Venting does help, particularly to people who know exactly what you're talking about and have been there. I always feel better knowing I'm not the only one this happens to. To a better a day and hopefully it's as sunny and nice where you as it is where I am.
  • Thanks for all your kind words and support. Lynette I will be 38 in August. The surgery definitely screwed up my cycle. Today is better except for the sleep part. I slept 3 hours last night. Thats all. It is sunny today and plan on going in the backyard with my dogs. Also gonna break down and get a laptop.
    The crying bit is definitely frustration. I don't feel anxious at all.
    Nice to know I am not alone in these feelings.

  • tonya, I am right there with you. My surgery was jsut a few days before you. I am frustrated about none of my clothes fitting. I am frustrated with how I look, myself esteem is in the basement. If I knew I would climb back and soon get my figure back, I would feel better...my skin is dry, my hair is dry..I'm thinking of seeing a nutricionist to see if nutrician would help. I'm not eating so I know it's lacking.

    In the hospital they gave me benedyl at night to sleep. I still take it and I sleep! or Tylenol pm help. I hope today is a brighter day! Hang in there, together we can do this! gentle hug Shari
  • I've been there too and I understand how tough it is the first few weeks post op after a fusion. My TLIF on L4-S1 was almost 2 years ago and I remember it like it was just yesterday. Fusions are so traumatic to your spine and it is the second most painful surgery compared to open heart surgery. No wonder it's so hard on us but gradually things should get better. Feel free to vent your feelings here because we can relate to them and understand what you're going through. Take care
  • Tonya,

    I feel for you. I went through a really difficult post surgical depression. I cried a lot around that same period in my recovery and to be honest don't feel that much better now. I am having other issues with this surgery that I never expected and cannot seem to get any help for. But that's a whole other post. I really hope you can get past it and sometimes a good cry is helpful. Vent whenever you need to. That's what we are here for.

    Btw, my dr (the devil) said that sleeping that little was my body's way of telling me to get up and move. But I am not of that school. We all need at least 6-7 hours if not more, of sleep for a reason. Ambien helps me some nights. Not so much others.

    Gentle Hugs,

  • I to have had sleep issues , long before my surgery . My Dr . gave me all the different stuff , ambien ect...none of it work and they all made me feel hung over the next day...We finally found some thing that worked..I take 30 mg of Tamazapam every night , with in 30 minutes I am out...Some night its just 6 hours , especially after my surgery , the only reason I wake up early is pain through out my hips...But I do sleep and I have no side effects....The one med I do have a problem with is the oxycodon and oxycotins...especially in the morning..Those just rock my world at times in the morning...and there not that much...10 mg of oxycotin , and 5 to 10/325 of the other as needed..I am glad my pain is tolerable , I couldnt handle much more of those meds...But keep the Tamazapam in mind , they work...!!!
  • SpineAZSpineAZ WiscPosts: 1,084
    I had a few nights of that. I took an extra pain med or two and somehow when day comes I would do better.

    I was cleared to drive at about 5 weeks but hubby wasn't going to let me. He finally let me drive today, but with my LSO brace on it is not very comfy so I won't be eager to drive. But now I know at least I can get to the pharmacy if I need to.

    My husband is home all the time as well as he was laid off. I think the fact that we've been sleeping in separate rooms since I came home has helped. I can get up in the middle of the night if I have pain or am restless and then I don't bother him. Next week we will be in our RV and we'll see how I do when I only have a few square feet to wander in the middle of the night :-)

    I will say that being on the pill continuously likely helped as I didn't struggle with hormone issues. Which, if I had, may have led to me 2-5 days of crying and misery (I tend to feel cramps in my back). I had a tubiligation in 2003 so I could go off the pill. 3 months later realized the migraines I was getting were during the "one" week every month. Been on the pill, 365 days a year, ever since with just a week off every 2-4 months (I'm now 43).

    With me on disability and hubby out of work we REALLY have thought about chucking it all and moving to Wisconsin. If only my parents had kept their house in Wausau when they left the state - then I'd make them give it to me.

    2 ACDFs, 2 PCDF, 3 LIFs; Rt TKR; Rt thumb fusion ; Lt thumb arthroplasty; Ehlers Danlos 
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