My pain level is really up there today!!! Went school shopping with kids on Friday (in and out of wheelchair) and a birthday party on Saturday so I’m pretty wiped out. Decided to go to church on Sunday, thought it would get my mind off the pain put only made it worse and I started crying. Called doc and he increased my vics to 1 ½ to 2 every 4 hrs and motrin for a couple of days and then go back to regular dose.
I know people mean well but if you see me crying don't ask me what’s wrong and then glaze over when I tell you!! God that pees me off!!!! You know that look like here we go again or how bad could it really be enough to be crying? Then you have those who think you do this for attention (my mother in law).Then there those who say what did you do, fall down or something? No idiot, I had major back surgery. One person actually asked me what it felt like and I said let me hit you in your lower back repeatedly with a 2 by 4 with a nail through the middle and then you'll know exactly what it feels like, then I walked away. My husband gets so made and starts telling people off for me. His mom says he shouldn’t do that but he tells her that by them doing this, it upsets me more and makes the pain level worse. I’m so tired of these people I could just spit in their eye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could barely walk and almost took the wheelchair. Can you imagine what that would have been like? The questions, Auh!!
I love my church and most are really caring people but there are some who I just can’t stand. If I saw someone upset I would never be condescending to them. Church is really my only release and I’m getting to the point where I don’t want to go anymore. I’m just so sick of the whispers, stares and constant questions. Chalk it up to one more thing the chronic pain has taken from me.
I would like to thank each and every one of you out there for your support and advice. I think I would have given up long ago if it wasn’t for you. Just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you!!! GENTLE HUGES-Kathy