I read through this and other forums and realise, that I am one of many and that many are going through similar experience.
But in the dead of night when the gnawing pain tortures me and sleep is just an unattainable nirvana. I am very alone. Tortured, exhausted and very alone.
Here for advice and some escape
"A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. "
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy