When it rains, it pours. I've lived with flare-ups for about 6 years, then overdid it at the gym, and now entered the realm of constant pain. At least for my lumbar, the MRI says the L5-S1 protruding disc is now "subtly" touching the nerve roots. I love working out and most of the feelings that go with it, but I refuse to be a weightlifter on painkillers. I canceled my gym membership.
This is not to say that I have given up on working out entirely. My wife surprised me with an inversion table for Father's Day. I get in about 30 minutes of walking a day. I try to do about 20 pushups a day, focusing on keeping my abs tight. Regardless, I'm a lot lazier now. I don't lift my son, or mow, or vacuum, and I prefer to be horizontal. When we go shopping, I don't lift the bags, and I'm mostly just "along for the ride."
It's hard to be honest, and the heaps of guilt we feel just add more to the load of pain and depression we face. This morning I had a "strong discussion" (not really a fight). My wife thought I was being too sedentary, and this would just cause me more problems. She believed that my lack of motivation was from a bout of depression that would mellow out and not from the growing fear of living with a fragile spine that I feel.
So, I've unloaded my baggage (once again) on these forums. I hope I've painted an accurate portrait of myself. Do you find yourself struggling to be active, and how do you define a good day of activity for yourself? How do you balance your fear with your lifestyle, and if you're in a relationship, what steps do you take to reassure your loved one that you're working toward a better life?
There. That shouldn't be too much to cover in one post. (Smiley Face)