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Making My Bathroom Accesible Or to Dream the Impossible Dream

Grab bars.

I need grab bars in my shower.  Simple right?  Go to the home improvement store, buy the bars, husband screws them into the shower wall.  Done deal, life made easier-not.

If this had happened, and it didn't, husband could help me get into the shower, I could sit on the nice shower chair.  When I need to get up and out, I could grab the grab bar, pull myself to a standing position with his help, transfer my grab to him, and turn to the side.  Then, in my perfect world, he helps me get across the tub threshold.  I am nice and clean at this point in time with as little stress as possible on him or me.  Since I am sitting in the shower chair, I can brush my teeth there as well.  My recliner is in the family room, where my bed is now.  The recliner is covered in a towel waiting my arrival.  I am wrapped in a towel, walking down the hall, to my recliner where I can rest before dressing.  Heaven on earth.

BUT, I have no grab bars.  Here's how it really went.

Two weeks after asking husband to put in grab bars, he finally goes and buys them.  I notified my son and made arrangements for him to come over, after work that very day, to help dad install the grab bars.  Otherwise they will sit there until I die or the house falls over.  Son arrives, all tools, ok most tools, actually some tools are assembled to put the grab bars in, instruction are glanced at.  How hard can it be?.  An hour later, three trips later for more tools, longer screws, completely reading the instructions, they are ready to go.

Once again my son asked do I realize he is putting a screw through my fiberglass shower.  Once again he says he's not responsible for any damage.  OMG, Yes, yes, get on with it.  I'm tired.  I'm in a world of pain.  I want a dang shower.  I want to lay down.  I want a nap before I go to bed.

They measure.  First screw is in, perfectly secured through the stud.  They used a longer screw to make sure it will hold.  Great.  I am now needed.  I go, place my hand on the shower bar, indicating where it needs to be for me.  They decide it needs to be elsewhere.  Sigh.  Fine.  Whatever.  Get it done.  Go sit down mom, you don't feel well.  Really?  You think?  I go.  

They measure carefully.  They level.  They put the second screw in, and, yup, there is no stud there.  The stud is gone.  

My son explains they are going to move the bar over a bit, cause they have to hit the stud.  I will have a hole in the shower wall, they will fill it so it doesn't leak behind the wall-no problem.  Whatever.  They do the third hole.  There is no stud.  In fact, there is no wall board behind the shower enclosure.  Nothing to hook the end of the grab bar to.  He can not keep putting holes in the fiberglass because it might shatter.  The bar is taken down, the four holes are filled, and now it's talk time.  

We are going to talk about what to do.  So sitting in the family room, they both start talking, to me, at the same time.  About what to do.  I know what to do.  I should get into the time machine, go back 46 years, and marry someone who knows how to put a shower grab bar in.  That's what I should do.  But, someone has misplaced the time machine.  Instead I not so gently tell them to shut up and get out cause I am going to bed, which they do and I do.

To be continued.  Lol.

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13

Comments

  • Larry, Moe and Curley  :D

  • edited 06/14/2018 - 7:23 PM

    Yup, I don't know how we ever get anything done at all.  

    I have a professional coming tonight for an exact quote on replacing my bathtub with a no barrier shower.  It's between 8000-10,000 dollars.  Sigh.  I did a balance transfer on my credit card to get the money for a new sleep number bed and some inside repair work.  Instead, I will get a shower.  I need a shower.  It will have the grab bars.  Lol.

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  • Is there a YWCA where you live?

    They probably have handicap shower stalls. 

    Might be do-able to go there 2-3 times a week for a shower and save your $$.

    But I don’t know your exact situation so I apologize if that’s not a feasible option.

  • That sounds a bit pricey, but I understand your wanting to get this over and done with!

    Taking a shower at home (not the YWCA for me anyway), and feeling safe & secure, will be worth it.

    And clean!

  • L4_L5,

    That is a really great ideal!-that I would have never thought of. I actually have a membership to a county gym that's just a few blocks away.  I am sure they have disability stalls where I could shower.  Showers come with the membership.  But it's not a feasible thing for me to do at this time.

    While I have never been very afraid of anything, it seems, at this point in time I am afraid of everything.  I could not/can not undress in a public place and leave myself vulnerable in that manner, even though my husband would be there.  I am having trouble going to doctor appointments for fear if my husband gets angry, he could leave me, and I could be stranded.  Of course I wouldn't be, my children would come get me.  And he wouldn't leave me.  But I am not rational, I am not even close to rational.

    I am constantly afraid of falling, since I only had a 10% of getting up before this injury and I for sure can't get up now.  I can barely gain my feet from sitting in a chair.  He has to pull me up.  It's hard to sit in my recliner, if the power goes out I would be stuck for forever.  We are having brown outs already.  If he's not home, I must stay in bed.

    Every day, a panic attack is just waiting to be unleashed.  While the rational side of me knows, I'm ok, the irrational side of me knows I'm not.

    I see my primary care doc tomorrow.  (I still can't potty.). I am going to ask for a therapy referral.  There is so much I cannot manage right now.  It is silly and stupid-all these fears.

    The no barrier basic shower is 6200.00.  He gave me every discount he could and the small crack I have in the upstairs bathroom, he is going to fix for free.  Was a really nice guy.  Once we pay it off, next year he can put in an accessible sink.  Like almost everyone else in the world, I am now back in credit card debt.  But that's fine.

    My husband works and if he lost his job, or got sick, or whatever the kids would help us.  I just am Worring too much right now about everything.  I also think I'll still be able to get my sleep number bed but have to wait and see.  If there are problems, the 6200 could go higher.

    Thanks for the suggestion though.  Under different circumstances it would have worked fine.

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  • Confirmed what we wanted done in the shower today with the manager.  He told me we would deal with him from now on as the first guy was let go.  Hmm.

    Anyway, asked if he could widen my bedroom door 2" to make it ADA compliant and so I could get the wheelchair in.  Also want to move my recliner in there since I have to sleep in it a lot.  He said yes, costs 1200.  Sigh.  But doing it cause I need the door wider.  Brings the cost to at least 7300 before taxes.

    I really want the new bed but looks like I won't be able to afford it anytime soon.  Oh well, at least in six weeks I will be able to take a shower without help.  This will be nice!

  • Well, I decided not to enlarge my door at this time.  I really need/want a new bed.  The hard mattress sleep number bed.  

  • Decided not to buy the new bed.  After being in the hospital and having a bed that raises at the head, realized I was always slipping down.  This was a pain and hard to pull myself up, so decided it would be a waste of money.

  • That’s common. Happened to me too. It’s like I’m slippery except I’m not slippery. It’s enough to drive you nuts. Can relate.

  • MudflapMudflap Posts: 101
    edited 08/01/2018 - 9:52 AM
    I had commented here asking what was going on but then read your hospital thread and came back to edit my comment on this one. Hope you are doing well now that you're home.
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