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sorry need to vent and have concerns

cherrybabyccherrybaby Posts: 49
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:22 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
:( Ok sorry I have to vent I have no where else to go!! Tomorrow will be 6 weeks post op level one fusion plif. Any ways I can not seem to get any one in my house to help me do any thing and I mean anything! ~X( I have three kids they are all in school as of tomorrow. So you would think that my house would be clean. ya right!! My husand works graves so there again you would think the house woul be clean!
Since i have been home i have done almost everything! I do dishes, clean all rooms and wipe down the bathroom as much as i can, i cook, help with home work you name it.
I have not had any help but a little from my family. I eed to go back to work but i know if i do i will be doing things that i should not be doing {lifting bending boss is to lazy to do it so he makes me} and i really need the money that i am not getting from workers comp i am down 400 a month. Bills are piling up, been sent to collections and lawyers. And my lazy husban just wants to sleep all day! gets home at 630 kids to school by 8 and sleeps till 230 and dose nothing but lay the rest of the day.
:/ :/ :/ :/ i have a few concerns. I am still swollen and it fells like the scar is ripping when i lay down side flat on the back any way are these thing normal. I called the dr and they said the swelling is not atleast not this far out. and no answer on the pulling felling! and i still don't sleep worth a crap.
Sorry for complaning


  • sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. think you really need to talk to your hubby and kids and get them to pull their weight. down tools and tell them you REALLY cant do this on your OWN. the more you carry on doing the more they think you can cope. tell your hubby and kids if they help out you will be back to normal (WHATEVER THAT IS) quicker and then you can get back to work faster. sounds like they all take advantage of you. you may be a wife and mother but you aint their slave. rest rest and rest. let them live in a dirty house for a while it wont hurt them. sometimes we have to put ourselves first. take care and hope your family gives you the support you need
  • I agree with Shirley, This is the time that you have to look after yourself. It is time to stand on your high horse and demand help from your family and to remember not to take any crap!

    It sounds like the more you do then the more you are expected to do, so be firm and say you need this time for healing as it is called a recovery period. Oh do you happen to remember that I had SURGERY!.

    As for you boss. Unless he is 90yrs old and using a cane then he can lift whatever need to be lifted. No job is worth damaging you back again.

    Can you assign jobs to each family member. I know it is easier mentally to do it yourself but in the long run you will be grateful that you put your foot down now.

    Blessings Sara
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  • Cherry, you need to demand some help. Make them a chore list and no fun and games each day until chores are done. I have to supervise my teens and give instruction and keep harassing them, but it eventually gets done. My daughter has learned to scrub toilets with this approach with my onsite instruction! My kids are way lazy too, and the first week my Sis was helping and they were getting off scott free, but now that has changed. When all else fails I tell my daughter she can't drive her car until chores are done and that is a good motivator. It is however an ongoing battle with them, and they never do the job as good as I could do it myself, but it has to be good enough for now. Please don't jeopardize your back by going to work too soon. In the long run that could be more costly for you both physically and financially. Try to get your husband on board too, have a heart to heart with him. I know guys tend to be big babies, just one more kid to look after/motivate. I am sure you could find something to withhold from him if he is not cooperative :))(
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