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AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,578
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:23 AM in Health Insurance Issues
Because I chose to be a stay at home mom for my 3 birth children, 1 adopted special needs child and 77 extremely medically fragile drug and alcohol foster babies, I am not eligible for SSDI. I thought I would be able to get it through my ex's SSDI, but NO. I will be able to get SS at age 62 (33% of what he is owed, but he still gets 100%) or 50% if I wait until the age of 65. I am 57 now, but 100% disabled. I am paying about $1100 a month now for private insurance for me, and it will go up to nearly $2000 a month within the next couple of years. I can't afford to keep paying it much longer. It really makes me mad that a homemaker is treated worse than an illegal alien in this country. I have spoken to 2 different attorneys that specialize in this, and they have said it is correct. I don't want to have to marry someone just to get insurance, but at this point I don't know what else to do. I am going to go after my ex for more alimony as it ends this Oct. We were married for over 25 years. Any rich, handsome. nice men out there with insurance?!! Just kidding! Has anyone ever heard of any other solution to this? I own 2 homes and am planning on selling one as soon as the economy picks up. If I sell it now, I won't have enough to live on later. So going on welfare is not an option at this time. Watch out kids, mommy may be coming to live with you soon!

Jan http://www.spine-health.com/sites/all/modules/smileys/packs/Yahoo/frustrated.gif


  • How great that you were a foster mom to so many babies in need! Has a Dr. been involved in your case? I thought if you had medical support attesting to being disabled, then ssi didn't have a choice?
    You are fortunate to have some assets, hopefully you'll be able to make them work for you. My husband just asked me why I don't try and get disability, I told him lots and lots of people work while being miserable and in pain. I know ssdi would'nt consider me "qualified" either. I'm hoping my Dr. will help me find a pain management system that will "calm the savage beast" of pain . I've been a stay at home mom too since 2004, I adopted a baby girl in 2003,then hurt my neck and shoulder and was takin off work in 2004. Trying to break back into the workforce will be difficult,but I'm like you, no ssdi for me either.
    Take good care and don't let the stress eat you up!
    Sagehen ( I only know one rich handsome good man and my aunt just married him)
  • Thank you for your compassion. The reason I can't get SSDI is because it is based solely on a point system. Since the last time I had a paying job was in 1973, I don't have enough points. I have been declared 100% disabled by more than one doctor, but SS doesn't care. Got to go after the ex for
    longer alimony, which I would rather not do. Not that he deserves it, but it is such a hassle.

    Congrats on adopting your baby girl! I always wondered if I could love an adopted child as much as a birth child, and found out I actually love him more; he really needed me! I loved my foster babies too; in fact I got written up for being too affectionate towards them. Dumb social workers! I told them I would love them as my own as long as they were in my house so leave me alone! My adopted granddaughter is here with me now, and I love her to bits. She is grandma's little princess!

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  • Wow, that really IS a shame!

    First of all, God Bless you for what you've dedicated your life to doing with raising and loving those children!!! =D> It's absolutely wonderful and admirable to take in the unwanted/mistreated and show them what a loving home is, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your service!

    I've always wanted to foster since medical issues forced me stop with my 3 sons (well, I had another son & daughter that were twins but they died-14 years ago next month). I'm afraid with my back problems (and other medical stuff) that I wouldn't be able to do it, & I'm certain that even if I thought I physically could, because I'm so far below poverty level and it's just me, that they wouldn't let me foster anyway. I'm sure it's just an absolutely rewarding and loving thing to foster these kids.

    I'm so sorry for your situation with not being able to qualify for SSDI! Doesn't hardly seem fair does it? There are people that live in the complex I do that live entirely off of government money-they don't work but are definitely physically able to party, drink, & get stoned all day every day raising hell in the complex, coming & going all hours of the day and night. Here people like us are literally stuck in bed very much of the time, in pain ALL of the time, swallowing a plethora of meds just to keep functioning, enduring various painful procedures to try to recapture some essence of our former lives back, and couldn't punch a time clock if we only had to work a one hour shift-yet people like that sit around & drink/smoke/snort/shoot up and order pizza every night on the tax payers dime!!! X(

    It's sure as hell not fair, is it? ~X(

    Not to make light of your financial situation at all (believe me, I understand-I'm trying to support my 3 boys & myself on $500 p/month in child support, which of course has to cover rent, heat, electric, clothes & all the other household/life expenses-except food, I do get $300 p/month in food benefits & I've learned how to stretch it so that it will be just enough for the month)-but you mentioned that you get alimony from your ex? I'm sure it's not much (like in my situation), but definitely be greatful if you're able to get an order to extend it, cause in a lot of the states, there's no such thing as alimony! I know you depend on it to survive & totally understand, respect, and can sympathize with it-again, it's like me with child support), but I wasn't sure if you were aware how lucky you are to even be able to get alimony.

    I hope things work out and that you'll be able to get it extended & maybe even increased, and I hope that you can hang in there until you're eligible for Social Security retirement. Do you think you're going to wait for the full 50%, or will you have to take it early at the reduced rate? My mum is trying to decide what to do on that as well, only the difference with her is she's got lots of money and she's not disabled.

    Good luck, try to keep that chin up, and again, thank you for looking out for those kids who have noone else to look out for them! You are a true hero-I hope you realize just how special it is what you're doing.

    Take care of you...
  • My heart goes out to you Jan. I know it's no consolation whatsoever, but, in my years as a disability examiner, I felt so bad for the claims such as yours that were square blocks (you more than likely meet the "physical" requirements of the program)that did not fit in the round holes (you don't meet the "technical" requirements for the program). Tanya is right - it's NOT fair...

    Sagehen: SSDI is a disability insurance program for individuals who have paid in to Social Security (it's to be used for retirement benefits, or if an individual becomes unable to work before retirement age). It's based on how many "quarters" you've paid into it. Basically, you have to have worked at least 5 out of the last 10 years in order to qualify. SSI is different. It is there for people who have not paid enough into Social Security for what ever reason. It comes from your state's general tax fund. Your household income cannot be more than a certain amount (and each household's limit is different and depends on certain factors).

    Jan ~ How long were you married to your Ex? If it was 10 yrs or more, you should check with a Social Security attorney to see if you can file your disability off his social security... You can even call the SSA's toll free number and ask them - or go to their website. This is a "general question" and your specific information is not needed. The website is "ssa.gov" and the toll free number is 800-772-1213 - just follow the prompts in the greeting.

    I truly hope things work out for you, Jan.

    (I also apologize for the long post)

  • man what I would give to be in your situation.. remember when it feels like rock bottom there's always a million other things that could be worse.

    Good luck and don't give up!

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  • Ms Jan, there is surley a place in heaven for your amazing heart! Good people cant be held down for long.I hope you find relief soon! keep that chin up mama and dont give in to the system!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • ranchhand has said it the best, Amen. i wish u luck and will also pray for u.
  • I have nothing but admiration for what you do. It takes a lot of sacrifice and you have given so much of yourself. It's time that people like you are helped. Not people who commit fraud and live carelessly off taxpayers' money. What I get from SSDI is bare, but my husband makes a decent living and I wish I could contribute more. I get down on myself because of my circumstances and think how much more comfortable we'd be if I was working, and the kids could have more. It's hard to save money nowadays and you live paycheck to paycheck. I am grateful to be able to get my treatment and medication, despite owing so much money, all because of my back. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't see a back specialist or have the surgery that was needed.
    Needless to say, we all have our struggles. I hope you'll have access to the assistance you clearly deserve. Take care
  • That's an awesome job that many of us couldn't do. Here in Canada my Mother got $50. for a child born before 1958. So since we were born after that it's still $50. a month more with her old age pension she's 67. Hopefully in a couple of years insurance won't be so high. I live in Canada so don't know if that rule applies there. I hope you get money from your ex. Fingers crossed and saying a prayer for you. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Thank all of you for all your kind posts! I haven't been on my computer too much since my surgery on my back on Oct. 15. It was so much better than my first back surgery, thank God! I am sure I will be ok financially, but it is the insurance that is breaking me. I am lucky to own some real estate; but Z need to wait until it goes up more to sell my old house.

    Jeaux. thanks for that number, I will try it. I was married for over 25 years. I will keep on trying to get it!

    EMTgoneNUTZ, I am going to wait until 65 so I can get 50% instead of 33%. I am sure I will need that little bit more by then.

    I decided not to go after my ex for more alimony. I may want to shoot myself in the foot later on, but for now I prayed about it and thought that was the right thing to do. I am better off financially than a lot of people on here, so I will thank God for that and try to make it work.

    Thanks for all the sweet people in here; it is so nice to be able to have support from people that actually know what your pain is. I am going to the doctor on Monday after just having a CT scan on my neck, due to pain from my neck to my fingers on the right side this time. He thinks besides all the other problems there is now a bone spur that may be causing it. It seems to never end, doesn't it. I still need to get all the technical terms about what I have had done to my neck and back. 8> I know I have had different types of fusions done from L1 to S1 in my back, with rods and other hardware put in this time instead of just screws. The bottom 4 screws were removed, and I can finally sit without excruciating pain!

    Jan :)))
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