I had a follow-up appointment with my neurosurgeon on Thursday to check up on my latest revision surgery and talk to him about getting permission to get the SCS trial and possibly the permanent one done. Unfortunately my x-rays showed bad news. The first 2 levels of the fusion are doing great, almost completely fused, but the C7-T1 is not showing any sign of fusion at all. The screw had moved position and is barely in the bone anymore (he removed so much bone during the last surgery that there wasn't much there to screw it to). He's concerned that it may hit nerve roots or, God forbid, the spinal canal and cause my symptoms to worsen. He's also worried about the spinal instability that I had before that caused the kyphosis, stretching the spinal cord so extremely.
What does all this mean? Possibly no SCS for awhile. Possibly another surgery, this time posterior, to put a cage around this level and wire it permanently in place since it probably isn't going to fuse.
I had worked my courage up to endure another surgery for the SCS but I can't imagine having to do yet another revision in less than a year. I've just spiraled back to the extreme angry cycle that I've been trying so hard to get out of for so long. Everytime I have a setback it makes me so mad that I'm in this position to begin with because of careless people. I'm trying hard to find the positive in this but can't. It makes no sense- all the people at fault walked away without a scratch and here I sit, day after day, going through this hell. I just don't know how to get out of it anymore.
If I should go hit a punching bag....oh, wait, I can't...