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Family and Meds

ernurseeernurse Posts: 771
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:26 AM in Pain Medications
I take the minimal amount of meds that I possibly can, even tho it still leaves me in pain becuz I want to try to be as mentally alert to enjoy life. But, if my husband sees me take meds, then later he says, "What did you take, you seem really drugged up?" If he doesn't see me, he doesn't make that comment. He totally agrees I need the meds and thinks I should take more than I do, but I just don't understand why the heck he only seems to notice these "effects" (sometimes I don't tell him but I was only taking a birth control pill) when he sees me take meds.

Anyone else have something like this?


  • If Michael said that to me I would probably say something like,"Why don't you tell me how you really feel"...lol.

    It sounds to me like he's noticing a 'placebo' effect if you are sometimes taking a birth control pill,and something about your medication is bothering him? This is only my opinion after reading the info you mentioned in your post.

    It's funny-Years ago when everyone in my family knew that I was on medication they all had their own opinions,either positive,negative,or nuetral.Now..nobody knows that I take pain medication and nothing is ever mentioned about it,even though I take my pain meds EVERY day.Sometimes something will be said like,"Robin,remember when you used to have to take those pain pills all the time..aren't you glad those days are over?"And I smile and say,"Boy how time has changed me"..which is true.

    I suppose my advice would be to take your medication whenever he is busy doing something else.Even though there is absolutely nothing wrong with you taking them,some people simply have issues that we cannot work out for them.It's just my opinion of course,but I really DO understand ;))
  • Before I started on the ER meds, my family members would ask me that same question. It was interesting because I started tracking in my pain journal and they were consistently telling me I was acting dopey and asking when I had the last pain pill about 45 minutes to an hour before I took anything.

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  • Suggesting that maybe I take less of them. I have now found the perfect answer for them. I suggest that they turn around and I will take a wooden baseball bat and hit them across the shoulders as hard as I can and let's see if they would like one of my percocets after that. So far no one has taken me up on my offer. :D I love my family but especially my dear Mother doesn't get it. She thinks because she lives with Rheumatoid Arthritis that recovering from ACDF surgery should have been a walk in the park. I wish it had been as it seems to have been for many.
  • Taking pain meds has really been an issue in my house because, my husband is a recovering alcoholic, my sister is an addict and my oldest son is an addict. My sister has tried to compare her drug use to mine saying she started using again because of physical pain. I'm no different than you, she says. Okay!!??? When did taking 5 times higher than a prescribed dose mean the same thing as pain management?
    My daughter, bless her, she means well says, "do you think the medication has anything to do with it?" Ah, yes I"m sure it does dear, do you hav any suggestions??? Then her friend was in an accident and was able to get off pain meds in about a year. So, I of course got the lecture on if he could do it, so could I.
    My husband, the alcoholic in recovery has been the only who actually understands and does his best to help and be supportive. He's been very protective when I've had problems with PM docs, especially most recently when the doc screamed at me for taking less than sometimes.
    My only suggestion for you is to find some way to ignore it. If someone has never been in chronic pain they can't understand how even the side affects we sometimes have to deal with are less to deal with than the screaming monster pain. It's one thing to be annoyed, quite another to have pain screaming so loud you can't hear, or function.

    GOOD LUCK :) to you!
  • same with me. When my pain escalates and I am not treating, my mind seems to "go". Hubby will be asking me what's wrong, is something wrong, yada yada. When I take the meds and they kick in, you almost can't tell I've taken anything at all. But the immense pain causes the changes described.

    As a result, my hubby encourages me and helps me remember to take my meds. He has watched me struggle many times when I got "behind" the pain and couldn't get it under control, even at the ER or hospital. Not a good place to be.

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  • I see that you are getting you SCS later on today (if not postponed).Good Luck and I hope everything goes smoothly for you.

    When I'm in really bad pain & Michael asks me what's wrong-it's like...you know how you're choking on something and CAN'T talk...yet the person is all up in your grill asking if you're ok and knowing full well that you cannot answer..lol,that's what his "what's wrong" question sounds like to my ears.I have to grit my teeth and fake it till I make it at those moments-because after 8 and 1/2 yrs he ought to know better.I know it's just his way of saying he cares,but why not just say the words...dang.
  • I hardly ever take meds in front of anyone in my family for exactly these reasons. It has such a stigma, and I'm trying to avoid getting into it with anyone, particularly my husband's family. I remember when I had my fusion and a few weeks later, his mom's cousin, (very close family) asked me if I was still taking pain pills and that I better get off them right away or I was going to get addicted. I was still in horrible pain (mine was anterior) and I was offended. I never mentioned it to anyone, but I certainly never told her I still have to take them. I don't lie about it, but I don't offer it up either. My husband knows I take them and knows I need them, but if he sees me take it, he will make a comment about "getting all hydro'd up". He's kidding, I know, but it bugs me.
  • What a great topic. I've talked about this to others before. My husband is a down right @ss about me taking meds. I have to hide them from him and go in the bathroom to take my doses. If he catches me he makes comments about me being a drug addict and even tells the kids your mom's a drug addict. I really hate when he brings the kids into it. They know I am in pain though and I explained the difference between a drug addict and taking rx meds. I don't take more than prescribed and I don't take to get high. Anytime my husband thinks I am acting moody or we are arguing he tells me to go pop another pill. He doesn't even seem to notice that we fight because of his attitude but instead blames it on my "drug use". I don't even talk to him most of the time anymore. Only when necessary. He is even mad that I spend time on here now. "Talking to your real friends now" he says. I said that atleast they understand what I am going through. My dad is in a wheel chair due to lumbar pain and peripheral neuropathy and has never taken narc pain meds. He's against them. So, my family thinks because he's strong enough to take them I should be too. Maybe I should just become an alcoholic like him and get off the pain meds ~X( . Will that make them happy :? Can you tell I needed to blwo off a little steam? X(
  • ...... to be made to feel like we have to hide something only reiterates the feeling like we are doing something "wrong", you know what I mean? It's terrible that we have to make sure that no one is looking or we might be judged. Would someone walk up to someone taking an insulin shot and say the same? Or chemo for cancer? Or Dialysis for Kidney failure? It's the treatment that works best for our condition, and that is unfortunate.... unfortunate because of ALL of the media hype and demonization of taking a prescribed medication even if it's for a diagnosed condition.

    This is a feeling that I will never ever get used to.... being looked at that way and being made to feel as though I am doing something wrong.

    Peace and painfree days to us all,

  • Hugs Ming

    >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<

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