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I'm super lonely

dehoyos13ddehoyos13 Posts: 291
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:40 AM in Matters of the Heart
Been in recovery for almost 7 weeks now. My doc told me last week another 8 without housework or driving. Today I got 2 of those 7 weeks as extreme rest time. I'm bored out of my mind. My son plays his xbox 360 for hours, my husband is out working for many hours....he does boiler and furnace repair. Besides this forum...I have no friends to talk with. You never realize who you can rely on until you have no choice to but rely on them.

Makes me want to be a better friend. so that my friend won't be where I am now....lonely and nobody to talk to besides forum friends who I'll probably never meet.

Glad for these forums though. Maybe I'll visit the funny one and get some gigles before I go to sleep.


  • I'm sad you're feeling lonely lately. I always come here and get my friendship from here and I love some of the jokes too. I hope you're feeling better soon. I know a good night's sleep can make a difference in how you feel. I drink chamomile tea at times and have tried warm milk heated in the microwave for 1 minute and it releases tryptophan natural relaxant just like what's found in poultry. I also practice a relaxation routine doing deep breathing exercises and just think relax. Check out my signature, there's a great site with info on feeling better. Take care. Charry >:D<
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely. I went through a period of time right after surgery where I didn't hear from any of my friends. I still haven't heard from one of my "best" friends much and I'm really resentful. I guess you find out who really cares when something like spinal surgery happens, eh?

    Just know that myself and I'm sure many other spineys on here consider ourselves your friend, and whenever you need to send us a private message feel free to do so. I find that I like talking to other spineys better than I like talking to even my very closest friends lately anyways. You guys all just "get it" better than anyone I know IRL, even my husband.

    *HUG* I hope you feel better tomorrow.
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  • how did you spend last night???? I was up for hours and hours. Just got off the phone with my dr's PA. She said to take 2 Vicoden and one valium 45 minutes before bed but to make sure I eat. I'll let you know if it works.

    I am lonely. My husband is my best friend. My other best friend lives in Pennsylvania. My sister comes on the weekends and calls everyday. I don't know what's wrong with me except that maybe the valium is depressing! ha ha. I'm not usually a depressed kind of person. I love life...even when it isn't so great! I haven't been out in the sun much either...you know that vitamin D really makes a difference.

    I too find that my spiney friends understand and are closer than my regular friends right now. Since I'm basically stuck in one room all day...you can imagine being down. I'm scared to trip down the stairs...or up the stairs. I won't lie...that's the only place I'm clumsy. On the stairs...all 13 of them. My daughter is coming home in a few hours with a friend from school. They'll be sharing a room with me so I guess they will either wear ear plugs or stay up with me!

    Andrea...I thought about you a bit last night in the many hours that I couldn't sleep. Praying is good for me...so I prayed for you and Lisa and a few others on this forum. Not because we're in such bad places but because no matter how well we're healing or how slowly, we can always use some help!

    so today...I'm still lonely but my girls coming...so we'll see. Thanks for your responses and I appreciate them.

    Thanks all and have a great day!
  • If your feeling a bit lonely and depressed you might want to check out the chat. There are many who go on there and just talk about whatever along with the pain. Often times you will find the oversea's crowd on in the middle of the night. I am glad your daughter came home from school and hope you are enjoying your time with her. It is bit hard around this time of the year when everyone else is out and in the hustle and bustle of the crowds and we can't get out and do the same things. Hopefully your daughter's arrival has helped. Take care.
  • I definitely understand the lonely bit. All of my "friends" started falling off the face of the earth when I could no longer be out and about with them because of my pain. And come surgery time, I found out who my real friends were when only a few people even bothered to check on me while I was in the hospital or recovering. My relationship fell apart during my recovery, and less than 2 months after surgery I had to find a new place to live. The house we had bought together just wasn't gonna work with how horrible things were. Luckily for me, my surgery and recovery went well, and a coworker who has proven to be one of my only friends, really came through with a big favor for me that saved my a$$.

    Now another month later, I've still barely heard from anyone, and basically spend 99% of my time completely alone. The ex and I were getting along nicely for a while, but she showed her true colors again, and that door is now closed, locked, dead-bolted and nailed shut.

    Days like today it gets hard to be so alone, and to think about everything I've lost. But such is life right? Sometimes it's rough but you just gotta hang in there and keep moving forward.

    My back is doing great (though today it's achy because it's snowing ha), so I'm choosing to focus on that and how I'm going to slowly work to get my life back together and somehow manage to find happiness.

    Anyway, just wanted to chime in with my little rant and say that as odd as it sounds, we are not alone in our loneliness. Sometimes this site is the greatest comfort I have because it shows me that even if I don't know the people on here, I know that somewhere there is someone out there that understands it all.

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  • I too found myself alone once my pain got to a level that I was not able to go out and be the fun, carefree, party-girl that I once was. I guess I'm just too boring now. Friends that I had for 10+yrs I haven't heard from since my condition worsened where I couldn't work. Some were considered my best friends and were even in my wedding. I was saddened and depressed and felt abandoned by everyone until I stumbled upon this site.

    I'm so thankful for SH and all the wonderful, supportive friends I've found on here. It's great to be able to chat with others who truly get what I mean and understand what I am going through and feeling.

    My husband is very unsupportive so it makes it even more lonely around here. He just thinks I'm lazy and don't want to do anything. There are times when he seems to understand and is willing to help out but those are few and far between. I do get down and depressed about it often but try to snap out of it as quickly as possible. I can not change how he is to me, however I can respond how I'm going to react to the situation. It's the same approach I take when faced with the pain.

    So whenever you are feeling lonely, please feel free to send me a PM. I don't go on chat cuz it's too hard for me to follow it. I am on facebook a lot too. If you have a FB then send me a PM and I'll send you the info to find me.

    Together, us spiney's can keep each other company and support each other to help fight off that lonely feeling. Thanks for always being there for me.

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