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New here and desperate for relief plz read

BarbAug1BBarbAug1 Posts: 23
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:40 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
Hello ev1 my name is Barbera I am 29 and in dire need of "real" human advice. when i was 12 i was in 2 major accidents the first i was in a hatchback of a car and we rolled it 7 times. broke my shoulder and clavicle and "stress fractured?" the discs between my shoulders less than 6 months later my father and i wrapped a international truck around a tree and i was stuck in between the tree and truck again braking my shoulder clavicle and doing a number on my back . all my life ive had anyone who would walk on my back as it is only way to give me any relief.for the last five yrs its gotten terrible i wake up all nite over and over sometimes it gets so aggrevating i cry. i wake up every morning without fail in absolute pain. i dont mean the typical stiff neck and achey feeling ive dealt with all these yrs i mean actual pain the kind that makes u get up there is no waking up u gotta move it hurts like crazy.. feels like it broke in my sleep or lack of.I have had steriod shots so many times i lost count .. this last time i was givin 10 shots from the back of my neck to my shoulder blades and to be honest it only made it worse. I am no cry baby ive played sports and last few yrs been coaching i thought coaching would keep me at least as part of the game but even the simple act of teaching a 7 yr old how to swing a bat properly is far more painfull than i am willing to deal with anymore.. i had a mri last week and i get results on 7th {my dr is on vacation} i am concerned as to what they want to do and what it is.. see i have very bad luck im on my 5th yr of remission from cancer ,, they took all my plumbing and some intestine and multiple fibroid tumors... my concern being ive been told several times that i could have fibromyalgia that my back should of healed by now. can someone pls give me a lil insight as to what im looking at and what fibromyalgia is really..i live in a very very small town and my dr is a smalltown private dr sooo.... ive read up on it and yes my symptoms are on the nose but i just dont think my luck is so bad as to have a blown out back and that? i have 4 children and a husband on niteshift who relys on me for everything down to picking his outfit out everyday.. I really appreciate those of u who take the time...


  • Can you be specific as to what damage has been done to your back Barb? Do you have the benefit of an experienced orthapedic surgeon caring for you - you say you live in a small town. It sounds like you need an experienced surgeon urgently.

    Hopefully someone who has been diagnosed with fibromyalgia will come along and give you some advice about that. I am unable to help but saw nobody had replied to you and you sound so desperate.

    Sounds like you need some help, starting with your husband. He's not your 5th child, he's an adult and working is not his only responsibility in life. I hope this forum can offer you some support and good advice. Hoping for some progress for you in 2010. Good luck!
  • Sounds like you are being consumed by all your pain. Sorry to hear you are suffering so much. Agree with the above post about seeing a spine specialist. Don't jump to any conclusions until you get your test results. Keep us posted.

    Best wishes,

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  • I unfortunately cannot offer advice, but can offer well wishes and prayers that you can get some help and relief by some of the folks here.

    Best of Luck,
  • Welcome to the forums! I'm so sorry you've had such bad luck in your very young life!

    First off, JenG is right. You need the opinion of an orthopedic surgeon or a neurosurgeon. I, too, live in a small town, but we have specialists that visit our Specialty Care Clinic, and I very rarely have to leave town for a specialist. You may want to ask your doc about this, and ask for a referral.

    As far as the fibromyalgia goes, you need to be diagnosed by a medical professional with that, too. I've dealt with this dread disease for many years. But with the pain you're dealing with from your back, it may give you many of the symptoms of FMS, but not actually be FMS. After I'd had my surgery, I felt a lot better for a time, including my fibro symptoms. My rheumatologist said that it may not have been a true FMS, but the result of the pain from my neck. Sadly, a bit further into my recovery I discovered this wasn't the case. But everyone's different, and our bodies all deal with pain in very different ways.

    First things first, though. Get your doctor to give you a referral for a spine specialist, and a pain management doctor. They are more qualified to interpret the MRI findings, and may be able to alleviate your pain. And JenG has another very good point...get your husband to help out a bit more. It's very hard to function when you're in such pain, and he can do many things to help you out, beginning with picking out his own clothes :LOL:
  • unfortunately i dont have a specialist near me my dr said ide have to go to seattle for anything they find and as far as being specific on damage done to my back i was so young i dont know exactly what they told my mom but my dr said my old records said stress fractures around the tspine.. to me this is spanglish lol thank goodness for google lol. as far as surgeans i am n the first stage i guess cuz to be honest after the cancer last thing i was willing to do was look for someone to cut on me again.. i went thru 7 operations in 2005 lol i just dealt with the pain lol.. and yes especially today im feeling concsumed by my pain.. im just sooooo tired and i do get depressed when i get badly flared but im not going to lie to you ppl i turn into a very grumpy zombie.. im always so dam tired i feel a fog and like my body is 100 pounds heavier... and yes i just feel really let down going thru this with all these kids and no support has finally got me down to my final straws i just cant do it any more.. I need help
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  • I'm not surprised you turn into a grumpy zombie. Having good health and four kids (5?) would probably do the same to me, let alone with all the pain and worry you've been through.

    Do you have family nearby? Is there someone - help agencies - you could appeal to for help? I'm in Australia so don't know what's available to you in the US. Other than that, you need to sit your family down and tell them that you've reached the end of your tether. That another long medical journey is beginning which will take you away to Seattle for help. That you are going to put things in motion because you can't go on the way you have. And that you're going to need all their support and love that they can offer. Directly to your husband, you must ask him to help because you need to rest more and have less stress. Then put into motion the chain of events that will lead you to better health. You're so young, but don't waste another day.

    Easy for me to say, I know! Good luck Barb!
  • and no i have no family i refuse to have them in my life they killed my mother.. I have one homeless brother who would give me the world if he could but he has a drinking problem i cant have my kids see. i grew up watching my parents do it i refuse to allow my kids to see that.. ive laid down the law ive cried and begged i give i dont know what else to do.. some ppl are genuinely self appointed royalty and dont care what u do for them as long as u keep on doing for them lol.. im sorry im just at a total loss today i feel very betrayed and sad and just done..
  • I feel for you in your situation. You must stop trying to feel responsible for everything. How old are your kids? Can you take an hour for yourself everyday to rest in your room with your door closed? Would you rest? Or be worried about them? Please see your doctor asap and get a referral. These things take time...time to get an appt with a surgeon..and you may need to get a few opinions if you're not happy with the first one. If nobody is going to help you, you must help yourself. You owe it to yourself. If you go to Seattle, would you need to be away overnight? There are too many things I don't know to be able to offer specific advice, except you do need to help yourself. Being not so available to your kids and husband can only teach them a little more independence, hopefully. Which is a good thing. If you have surgery, for example, they are going to need to stand on their own feet for a while.

    Is there any sort of community help available? Help in the home, help to get you to Seattle and maybe help to stay there overnight if necessary? Emotional support? Help with the kids if they are young? Salvation Army etc. offer all these types of things here but I don't know what's available in your home town. I just hope you don't have to go through this "alone".
  • in life all we can truelly depend on is ourselvs and even then sometimes we are let down.. i want to believe they will help they r 16 12 11 8 and 41.. i suppose i should just breath , research my options after the 7th as far as operations go and as far as my family i guess if i cant get up to do it then either they do or itll be waiting for me when i can.. lol thank u soooooo much for ur advice its nice to hear im not the only one going bonkers over owies lol
  • It'd be nice to just wave a magic wand and get it over and done with. The search for the right surgeon, the tests and all the waiting is laborious and frustrating (and costly) even if you have support. I hope you find that support Barb, but you will probably need to explain why you need it and ask for it. Sometimes families can really come to the fore. Perhaps you've been too stoic and they haven't realised how much pain you're suffering. Let us know how you go, but don't waste any more time to get the ball rolling. I hope others here might come in and offer some sort of advice as well.
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