Hello all. First, thanks to anyone who reads this and decides to respond.
I find myself in the position of waiting to go into a wheelchair. Due to a host of reasons beyond my control, surgery is not an option for me and the prognosis is grim.
I am scared; angry; depressed; envious of others; grateful it's not worse; worried about my disabled husband and learning disabled child; feelings of despair and overwhelming fear of the future have my mind clouded right now. Insomnia is my constant companion.
I am still working right now; even the doctors don't know how. According to their exams and tests I should have been in that infernal wheelchair several years ago. I consider it a gift from a higher power that I can keep earning what little I earn and still have some independence.
I need to file for SSDI but feel that it would be "giving up" this struggle I've had for over 15 years. Yes, I'm proud and don't want charity.
I know that there are hundreds of others just like me on this and other forums, and I would just like someone to talk to who can really understand how I feel. I am quite isolated because of my home life and even though my husband tries so hard, he just doesn't get it.
If anyone would like to talk, I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to communicate.
Thanks and God Bless!