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Wow, I'm in bad shape!

KimD592KKimD592 Posts: 435
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:57 AM in Chronic Pain
I had some errands to run today, and of course I have a 3-year old and 1.5-year old to take with me. All I had to do was go to work to get a flu shot, run to the store, pick up my friend from her work because she doesn't have a car, and get some gas. I just got home and put my youngest one down for a nap, and I am in SO much pain. The pain is truly bad enough that I feel like I'm going to be sick. I'm so angry about the fact that these errands that used to be so easy for me, now take so much energy and end up causing me great pain. I'm in worse shape than I was prior to my surgery. I still don't understand how the surgery can be considered successful if it left me in more pain than before. Granted, it helped with the initial pain, but this new pain is 10 times worse. I hate this. I effing HATE it!


  • I can totally relate to how you are feeling. My surgery too was called "successful" by the surgeon who did it. However, I too am worse off than before surgery.

    Errands are a nightmare for me as well. Basically have to plan and gear up all day, to simply run to the store.Nothing is how it once was.

    I feel for you, as you have this with little ones to take of as well. Luckily for me, my kids are almost grown.

    Hoping things get easier for you. Sorry don't really have any solutions for you, just letting you know, you are not alone. I hate this too.

    >:D< Karen
    >:D< >:-D< : Karen
    L3-S1 herniation and bulges, stenosis, mod facet,ddd,impinged nerves,coccydinia
    discectomy/lami July 2011-unsuccessful
    adr L5-S1 Feb 2012
  • Karen,

    Have you gotten anymore opinions from other NS? My NS is recommending we wait a little longer and if by December I'm still in terrible pain, he doing recommends another surgery on another disc. First I have to go for a repeat MRI to try to determine which disc is the culprit. If they can't tell based off of that, I have to go for another CT Myelogram. I am also going for two more opinions...one at the end of this month and one Dec 1st. My trust in my surgeon has faded. He spent nearly the entire appt, last week, trying to defend why the surgery was successful. I don't care why he thinks the surgery was successful. I don't care about the fact that my initial pain is 95% better. What I care about is the fact that I now have pain on the OTHER side that feels like I have a searing hot knife stabbing me in the ribs. What I care about is the fact that I can't be on my feet for longer than 5-10 minutes without being in horrendous pain. What I care about is the fact that I can no longer take my girls outside to play. So in my mind, NO, it was NOT a successful surgery. GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!
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  • are mine. I have gone back to my original ortho (not the NS who did the surgery) and he sent me for another mri. I get the results tomorrow and am very anxious. Don't want it to show other issues, but at the same time, want it to show something so that maybe there is hope of doing something to help it.

    My NS said the same thing, what he did was a success, but that I have other issues. Unfortunately the surgery that he did, did not take away an ounce of my pain, only compounded it and now have foot drop even more than before and walk with a cane.

    Do you have a date for your new mri? We both have to not give up, keep fighting for answers!

    Grrrrrrrr...that is how I too feel

    >:D< Karen
    >:D< >:-D< : Karen
    L3-S1 herniation and bulges, stenosis, mod facet,ddd,impinged nerves,coccydinia
    discectomy/lami July 2011-unsuccessful
    adr L5-S1 Feb 2012
  • I hate that we are both in this situation, but I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in how I feel. And I feel a special bond with you, since we went through our first surgeries together.

    My MRI is November 16th. He wanted me to wait to have it done, though I'm not sure why. Perhaps because I just had one done in August, so he probably wants a little more time to elapse? That's my guess.

    Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that you are having even more issues as well. I have a very difficult time getting around these days, and I am in pain more often than not. Luckily I am still able to work, as I was fortunate to find a desk job, which is what I needed. However, I'm nervous that the NS is going to tell me I need another surgery. I just started this job, and I don't want to jeopardize it by going out on leave. I'm going to try to hold out until February, which is when I'll be eligible for STD from my employer. However, the thought of waiting another 4 months makes me want to cry. Of course, if the pain is that severe and I continue to deteriorate, I will not wait. But I'm going to try my hardest to hang in there. We're already in a bad situation financially, and I don't want to make thing worse than they already are.

    Keep me posted on what happens at your appt tomorrow. Fingers crossed for some answers!
  • for you :( , Kim - especially since you have kids to take care of. I take it that your rheumatologist wan't able to drum up a cause related to your abnormal test results? I sure hoped she would so something could be done that would hopefully relieve your pain. You've been in my prayers.
    Love 'n Gentle >:D< , Ess
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  • No, she was hesitant to say whether it was AS or not, unfortunately. I am getting a second opinion, though, if you can call it that. My insurance has changed as of Oct 1st, and she does not accept my new insurance. She wanted to see me back at the end of December, so with my insurance changing I made an appt with one that DOES accept my insurance. My appt is for January 9th, but I am on the cancellation list. I didn't like the idea of having to wait 3 months while I'm continuing to suffer. And in the meantime, all she wanted to do was check my ESR and CRP levels.

    Right now, I think most of my issues stem from the herniated discs. I have several herniated discs throughout my t-spine, and I have terrible Left-sided rib pain because of it. I used to only have pain as long as I was standing, but now I'm finding I have pain whether I'm lying down, sitting, or standing. I get terrible sciatica down my left leg, I have numbness and tingling in my legs, and tonight I have pain in my usual area, underneath my left scapula, but it's radiating down my left arm. I'm just a mess.
  • Sorry Kim >:D< this is not the job you signed up for... We are supposed to be strong & healthy for our families- not to mention fun and fabulous for our spouses. I gotta get my sexy back on soon... Poor hubby needs some snuggling soon. For us it has been a very very very long time. More to come in different post.

    You are so brave & strong. Can you imagine how simple life will feel once you get through this mess? You going to feel like every other little challenge that is thrown your way will br a piece of case.

    Staying Positve for all my "Spine Health" friends.
    Sending god vibes to Kim tonight!

  • Thank you for your kind words, Julie. I truly hope you are right. I often think about what life will be like once I get past this...no more financial struggles, able to be intimate with my husband again, able to play with the kids, able to take care of the household chores again, etc. I try not to let my mind wander to the "what ifs" and such, but some days it's difficult not to. For now, I'm trying to focus on the positive things in my life...afterall, I don't have some terminal illness, I have great family and friends, and I finally have a great job that I can perform despite my limitations. In the end, those are the things that it's all about.
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