I had surgery 8 weeks ago.(L4/5 TLIF, REVISION L5/S1 PSF) The pain was as expected (had 3 surgeries before, but not this major). Lately, this past week I have been so depressed, as the pain increased. I get anxious, pacing the floors, crying. I cry from the pain, the loneliness, and msot of all, the feeling like I made the WORST decision of my life. My entire life is disrupted. I can't even care for my 3 year old dtr. She goes with my sister in law, and everytime she cries. She doesn't want to leave me and I don't want her to go. It breaks my heart. I should have thought this through. I should have prepared myself. What did I do?! I know it had to be fixed, but tht does not help me now. I'm already on depression medication. I'm trapped inside a metal spine.......thanks for letting me vent. I know I'm not alone when I come on here.