I'm 39yrs old and suffer from everlasting chronic pain & MDD. It's a vicious cycle that i'm sure many, if not all, can relate with. My life took a drastic turn on July 2009, as if things weren't drastic enough in my life already. I awoke one morning with a faint sharp pain in my back & noticed that each day, I was getting progressively worse:
I would awake in the morning, getting up slower & slower because it was becoming difficult with the pain unbearable (sharp and achy) to the point I wished to not even want to rise out of bed and noticed that my foot felt asleep all the time and leg pain. After 3wks of suffering, I made an appointment with my family doctor. I explained in detail my physical symptoms, how it was affecting me emotionally. I was a basketcase. He first ordered Xrays. Then came the MRI request. With that, he was able to pinpoint several things: herniated disc, a couple tears, pinch nerve, with a diagnosis called Spondylolisthesis. Affected area being L5 S1. It got so bad that I had to start using a cane.
Absolutely nothing worked: pain meds that included Oxycontin, Morphin. The 3 shots (1 to my Sacroiliac and 2 were Epidural). These shots would intensify my already disabling pain. After the conventional attempts, it was time to see a surgeon and talk about the extremities of my situation and options available. I'll never forget that first visit. I was seen first by my surgeon's assistant- & never felt so understood and liberated. He was so kind and compassionate, and so understanding that I broke down and cried. Up until that point, I felt so unattended, uncared for and worthless and confused as well as lost. My personal life was deteriorating along with everything else. That physician assistant was the light in my dark world. I was then seen by my surgeon, who was just as kind, caring and compassionate to my situation. I couldnt grasp it all, however I was losing muscle in the leg where Sciatica was active. I also had begun to leak urine. The situation was that I needed to have an L5 S1 fusion.
I held off from surgery as long as i possibly could while i researched and educated myself about all that was happening to me. It wasnt easy. I finally had the surgery in 2011. That was pretty traumatic for me. I'm still in the process of wrapping my head around it. I still suffer from chronic pain, my hip is still quite achy and painful, I have burning sensation in my feet still, I have Radiculopathy both feet & legs- so balance is an issue. 2yrs later, I have not fused (which i was prepared for knowing from my research fusion is low) and I need a second surgery which is to install a cage anterior because of nerve issue. I have also been started on Cymbalta, which is helping with the nerve pain & depression.
The stigmas and bias I have come across and deal with has been tremendously painful at times to endure, being as I am the one living in a body that looks healthy and able. My body feels like it's 65 rather than my 39yrs.
This has been the main website/forum I always come back to and have now finally joined.
I have a family-
Partner of 10yrs
My hobbies are: reading, workout when I can, spending time with my family, writing & other stuff.
Thanks for taking the time to read