Mods, please redirect this if it has a place to be or help me out with private messages. I'll be adult and discrete- promise!
The last time I was in an "adult relationship", 9 years ago all parts of that relationship could not be possible because I was in excruciating pain. The guy I was seeing was nice enough but clearly was not going to hang around for a relationship based on picnics and pony rides!
I'm sure most of us know that physical exertion creates spasms, increased pain, fatigue, and most importantly, a desire to get away from what is causing pain! My initial injury occurred when I was 8 years old. When I was in my early 20's I was in athletic condition from riding and training horses but again, that takes a toll on our bodies as well. But I had some wonderful relationships!
But in December 2006 I was pretty sure I was just going to die. I didn't want my partner to know my agony and it's become obvious to me that by avoiding talking then, the pain has taken on a life of its own. There are gentlemen I like now, we dine, flirt, have fun.... and I bolt. Most know I am a chronic pain sufferer but I've never been able to tell another human being that my romantic life is also affected by my pain. Aside from spinal injuries I also have centralized pain. A caress to my arm can feel like it has been set afire.
Needless to say I feel, more and more like I am going to be very alone for the rest of my life. I remember one former friend referring to me as being a prude! These people who equate physical love with pain and anguish- sorry, not for me!
I never had kids. I like kids- some more than others. I like physical closeness but I cannot help but stiffen in anticipation of pain. Has anyone over come this? Any tips, support, commiseration, sympathy, empathy..... I am on a few dating sites. I often get asked out and then I have to get creative. I don't want to be in pain and I don't want to be alone. I really want to be like everyone else!
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by...... (Robert Frost)
I still don't know if I should have taken the one that said, "Caution! Dead End" (Me)