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problems with alif since 2-08 on L5-S1

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,900
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:22 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
Hi everyone, I have not been on in while, but still having problems still can not sleep good hurts when i sleep or set too long or even walk seems like fusion did not work i need advice on what i should do, i am trying to get disability i have chrones disease now and fybromialgia diabetes ad real bad depresion and my husband told me if he knew i was going to be sick he would not have married me since i am not working at the time please help someone tell me what i should do waiting for a hearing for disability have been turned down twice now have to see judge but they say nit could take two yrs i do not want to be here but have no other means and my kids are going through alot.........thanks so much preety
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Comments

  • Im so sorry to hear all you are going through. I can't believe your husband said that to you. Didn't he listen to his vows??? For better or for worse....geesh. I really hope in time you can start feeling better. I know what it feels like to have problems sleeping as well but it helps to have a very caring husband. My heart goes out to you.


    Best Wishes,
    Christina :)
  • Sorry to hear you have so many problems and not sleeping doesn't help.
    You really need to see a social worker or someone similar who can help you emotionally as well as physically especially if you have depression (and who wouldn't). Just someone who isn't family or friend that you can unburden to and will have clear advice for you.
    Most importantly you need to go back to see your surgeon and get your fusion checked. You dont give details so I dont know what you had done.
    Blessings Sara
  • If you live in the United States, contact your state or county Adult with Disabilities Office. In my state, they are under the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation. They are very good if you can find the right counselor. They can help wade through the myriad of issues. Do you have a primary care physician? I would recommend talking to one of your physicians about all of the problems from husband to sleeping to kids. The dr should be able to recommend a course of action. I have found that counseling can help, if nothing else to figure out what to do deal with first. That is a lot to be handling by yourself. Let us know how you are doing.
  • I'm apologizing in advance for my language here - but that just SUCKS THE BIG ONE BIGTIME!

    I'm really furious at your husband! I mean get real buddy! Sorry, I just see your avatar and you look so dang cute there with your kids. And to think your DH isn't supporting you. OH! I can't say more. I'm getting rather worked up.

    I know nothing much about disability and all that. But I really agree with the others, you do really really need to talk to someone. I know with my work they provide and EAP office (Employee Assistance) this is an anonymous help service that any family member or employee can go to for any kind of emotional or financial counseling for free. Does your husbands work offer anything like that? Is there anyway you can get any kind of counseling? Ask your dr.s too.

    I have a really good friend that has been living with Chrones -and a severely disabled son that is not expected to live. She is my hero.

    I had another friend that had Fibromyalgia. She did not make it. I'm sick everytime I think of having failed her.

    I'm so glad you posted - at the very least, you've got friends here to stick by you.

    Let us know more details, it's good to let it out and we do like to listen here, that's why we are all here - to get each other through all this.

    p.s. In my 'other life' (the life I lead when I am healthy) I am a librarian. Have you ever read Rachel Naomi Remen's books - Kitchen Table Wisdom or Grandfather's Blessings? So much inspiration there - she too has Chrones. She's a Dr. too.
  • Thank you everyone, i needed to know someone is listening I have multiple problems but no avail here i have a avm in the brain and the doctor says too not to strain or do anything that could make it bleed, so my hub wants me to go back to work i have already filed for disability and they are awaiting a hearing with judge it will take awhile, i feel like taking my kids and going but i only receive child support for two which is not much i do not want to give up on marriage but seems my heart just hurts all the time..i apreciate all fo your concerns...............i have had 4 c sections. gall bladder and hi hernia removal and i have had breast cancer. survior now. thyroid disease, fybro, and diabetic, chrones and a avm in brain and fusion done 2-08 on L5-S1 with cage and screws, and i have osteoporosis and diverticuloseis so i have more wrong and can not name them all but seems it did not bother me till this marriage. i worked and had to quit yr into marriage we have only been married for 2 1/2 yrs abd please tell me what to do...........jo
  • hi, if you do not mind can you tell me what happened with the friend with fybro i am just concerned i do not live real close to famiely that can help my hub does not like for me to go and visit due gas it takes me about 45 min to go see them, i am sorry for all your losses and pain will pray for you.........thanks again
  • Dear PreetyWoman,
    I'm sorry about yor hubbie, perhaps he is just frustrated too. Its hard for them too. Is there someone else you can lean on for a while? These boards are a good and safe place to let off and seek answers.
    You are 6 months post op? How bad was you back? what did the surgeon tell you to expect and when is your next appt?

    I am sorry you are struggling. Hang in there, there's always a solution, you just need to find it. Give your hubbie some slack, he is likely just fed up too and yes you need a hug but he needs one too. A good friend reminded me not to forget my partners struggles too. It can't be fun living with us can it??
    tc
    Its a really long walk!
  • You poor thing. I feel so MAD for you and all of your suffering.

    I hope that you can find some comfort some where >:D<

    Julie

  • Hi Preety,

    Sorry it took me a few days to see this question.

    My friend was on 80mg Oxycontin (per dose) and Ambien. They figure that the night she died she choked on vomit and could not wake up. Her husband was not at home, he was on his way home from a work trip and he discovered her when he got home that morning. What really freaked my husband and I our out was that our bedroom windows were a mere 16 feet apart.

    It was back in the days before Oxycontin was considered addictive. It was being touted as the next best thing and that there were no addiction issues at all. Not that addiction was her problem, it was just not considered a very dangerous drug then - according to what she told me.

    The thing I always regret was I remember her telling me that the drugs were to help her be able to exercise. If she could reduce the pain she would be able to exercise which her body was in desperate need of, the dr.'s told her that was her only hope for feeling better. She never did any exercise and I was too busy and occupied with my own life to go get her and walk or go to the rec center with her like a friend should have done.

    Honestly Preety - I have to admit I was VERY frustrated with my DH when he ended up having a microdiscectomy. It took over a year after his surgery that he finally went into anger therapy. And he had to spend a week in detox as he was abusing his medications. Then we both did couples therapy and family therapy too. It's the only way we made it. I still wonder how, I was very very ready to be done with it all.

    Now, I am incredibly grateful for him. I razz him that he doesn't have to deal with me since he is posted in Iraq for a year and gets to miss out on all the fun. But I am glad we stuck it out. It's been 24, oops almost 25 years since we got married and while it's never been easy, it's been worth it.

    Whatever doesn't break us just makes us stronger.

  • Hi Preety,

    Sorry it took me a few days to see this question.

    My friend was on 80mg Oxycontin (per dose) and Ambien. They figure that the night she died she choked on vomit and could not wake up. Her husband was not at home, he was on his way home from a work trip and he discovered her when he got home that morning. What really freaked my husband and I out was that our bedroom windows were a mere 16 feet apart. it was a summer night and at least our window was open, if only we could have heard something.

    It was back in the days before Oxycontin was considered addictive. It was being touted as the next best thing and that there were no addiction issues at all. Not that addiction was her problem, it was just not considered a very dangerous drug then - according to what she told me.

    The thing I always regret was I remember her telling me that the drugs were to help her be able to exercise. If she could reduce the pain she would be able to exercise which her body was in desperate need of, the dr.'s told her that was her only hope for feeling better. She never did any exercise and I was too busy and occupied with my own life to go get her and walk or go to the rec center with her like a friend should have done.

    Honestly Preety - I have to admit I was VERY frustrated with my DH when he ended up having a microdiscectomy. It took over a year after his surgery that he finally went into anger therapy. And he had to spend a week in detox as he was abusing his medications. Then we both did couples therapy and family therapy too. It's the only way we made it. I still wonder how, I was very very ready to be done with it all.

    Now, I am incredibly grateful for him. I razz him that he doesn't have to deal with me since he is posted in Iraq for a year and gets to miss out on all the fun. But I am glad we stuck it out. It's been 24, oops almost 25 years since we got married and while it's never been easy, it's been worth it.

    Whatever doesn't break us just makes us stronger.

  • You sound like such a nice person who needs a good friend to talk to. If you ever need to talk just msg. me and I'll be glad to talk to you girl. Gosh, youre going through so much and that hubby of yours needs his can kicked.

    Dont forget if you need to talk let me know,
    Christina :)
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