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Cyst at L5 S! and musle spasms in my hamstrings! I'm a loner and outsider!!!!

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,731
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:22 AM in New Member Introductions
:H Hi Forum, I hope that I can find friends who can understand, support and perhaps councel me with my pain, as I feel terribly alone right now because although I have a great family, none of them really have the time to support or even understand my pain as it is out of their experience. Although I put on a happy face I feel like a phoney, I really want to talk about me and my pain, but I am smart enough to realise that I come across as boring and self- pitying. When I was working full time as a sale manager, people had time to be with and spend time with me, as I am unable to work because of pain it now feels like no-one has time for me, and I even get the feeling off certain people that I must be 'putting it on' for the sympathy vote. Why? Oh why am I treated like this? I never asked for this to happen to me. God, I even sound self pitying to myself!!! It feels like my feelings are just as important as the pain I am suffering right now.

I have had a discectomy at L5/S1 in 1993, the pain never went, my latest MRI has shown a cyst at the same level, but I am also experiencing ham string cramps all the time, I presume this is connected as after a cramp in either leg, the relevant foot becomes extra numb than normal(it fizzes) on my little toe side. I need to speak to people with the same experiences, God help me, I could talk a friend, family member through Divorce anyday!!! But PAIN, well its a Tabboo subject, at least in my world. Thank you for reading, and Thank you again for any response. Emmergyx
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Comments

  • and welcome to the forum. It is understandable to feel scared and alone when going through what you are going through. However you have come to the right place for understanding and support. Our members here are wonderful. If there is ever anything that I can help you with then please just let me know....take care....Miki
  • :) hi and welcome to the forum! we are here to offer you support and answer what questions we can. today is the day you are no longer alone. i may not have your exact problems but pain is a common denominator for all of us. look around and makes yourself at home. all of us go through times of self pity but that is normal. i would not even think of it that way but as merely concern for yourself. what could be more natural than that? good luck and i sure someone will stop by and help you with your problem. see you around the forum! Jenny :)
  • emmergy- welcome to site. Pain is not a taboo topic here so you have people who understand. I had a tarlov cyst on my sacral area but my dr did not think it was a big deal. I think it does explain some of my pain even though it was just an incidental note by the radiologist.?? :) jade
  • Hi, I sure know how you feel. I feel like my friends don't have time for me anymore. Everytime I do talk to one of them and they realize I am still in pain, it's like hey, why aren't you better yet, or over this. It's hard to be with them and try to act normal when you are hurting so badly. As for family, I think they often feel so helpless because they think there is nothing they can do for you. What they often don't realize is them just being there to listen and support you often is very helpful. Please take care of yourself, and I hope you find relief soon. Hope
  • I am new here too, and can sympathise with how you feel - well, I am sure everyone here can. Other people, however well-meaning, can't understand the pain because often there is nothing to see and unless they have suffered they have no idea of the agony. I have suffered the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life with my back and my family just can't grasp the severity of it all.
    I have found comfort in this site already, just knowing you are not alone. The support and advice here is amazing.
  • emmergyx. The life of a chronic pain person can feel and be very lonely. Friends and family are really not capable of understanding try though they might. Unless you have experienced even acute pain you really have no way of relating to chronic pain. lots of times I think that friends and family avoid us not because they do not care but because they are helpless to do anything about it. I have known people in my lifetime that were sufferers of chronic pain before I was and I can remember avoiding them because I thought that they were such a downer and truly thought that their pain was exaggerated just for attention. There is one person that I worked with for many years that had a failed fusion surgery and everyone (including me) thought that he was faking just to get attention or some time off of work. Now I think of him often and wish that I could go back in time. I know that I would treat him so differently. You truly are among friends here that understand and will help you through the bad times. You really will be amazed at what a close relationship you really can have with people here even though it is via the net. So anytime that you need or want to talk there is usually someone here to talk to. I will look forward to seeing you around the forum!
  • Hi, emmergy,
    I'm new here too, but so far this site has been a blessing to me, and I have even recommended it to a friend who also has spine problems. I have bone spurs and a bulging disc at s1 and my most recent mri shows major degenration at l5-s1. I have been doing physical therapy for few weeks now, and had my first ESI today. The shot itself wasn't bad but it made the numbness and tingling down the legs worse, along with the pain too. I have been out of work now for 3 weeks, and yes I know the feeling of people getting tired of hearing about the aches and pains. I sometimes think my husband thinks I should be better, which if very frustrating, cuz of all people I need his support the most, and I don't feel it there. My family understands as best as possible, but we don't live near each other, so they listen to me vent about it, but that's all they can do.
  • Thank you for your response,(and everyone else too :X ) it is great to know that there is such a large on-line community prepared to take time out to answer and support me. I have an appointment with my specialist on Friday, so it will be great to follow up with like minded people, and not bother my friends and family. Secretly they will be relieved that I wont mention my pain to them anymore and I am so glad that I have a community who understand exactly what I am going through and whom I can rely on for ongoing support. I am so gald I joined this site. Just looking at all the responses makes me feel like a load has been lifted form my shoulders. #:S
  • Your response is exactly what is happening to me, now I have found this site I will use it to expess myself and leave my friends and family out of it. I have decided that I can just update them only if they ask from now on #:S
  • Thank you I agree totally :)
  • I get the impession that one of my sisters think that I am 'faking it' too, even though I have had surgery, am under a spine specialist, am waiting for disc replacment sugery, the list goes on, she just says comments like... 'Well, it can't be that bad, When are you going back to work?, Just get on with it' etc. I don't think she realises how hurtful she can be and I avoid her now as I feel judged by her. I feel like shouting 'When did you take a medical degree?', but just don't want to argue with her about how much I am in pain, so just avoid her!!
  • Thank you for your kind response x
  • Youll meet all kinds of ppl here that share their stories and advice. Not only can you get educated here but also meet new friends.


    Best Wishes,
    Christina :)
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