As some of you may know, I lost my mom, my best friend, four years ago, very suddenly. I think I went into a state of shock and haven't came out of it yet. That woman was THE best... EVERYTHING. Two years after losing her, My grandfather (her father), who I was very close to, died from cancer and a couple of months later, I lost my grandmother (her mother), who I was also very close to, to Alzheimer's. As you can imagine, my little world was shattered and I don't see it coming back together any time soon.
I have had many dreams about my mother over the last couple of years. Always in the dream she has come back from Heaven, and I know it. She can never talk about what it's like there or why she had to leave us. I ALWAYS wake up so extremely sad. I never want to wake up from these dreams because there, I can be with her. In the dreams that I have of my grandparents usually, we are at their house having a get together, something we used to do EVERY Sunday since I was a little girl. For some reason, these dreams don't make me as sad as the one's with my mom.
Last night, I had a dream about all three of them. In this dream, my mom had returned from somewhere,but she hadn't really died. She was gone for the same amount of time, but she hadn't died. My grandfather was still alive, but my grandmother had passed away. When we got to their house, I began to cry and couldn't bring myself to go into the kitchen, because I knew she wouldn't be there. I finally MAKE myself go in there, and she was standing there. I go to her and throw my arms around her and hug her, so relieved that she is there, but my aunt tells me that its her ghost and that I shouldn't talk angry to her or it would make her mean. She goes on to tell me that when my grandfather got the yard tools out to cut the grass and such that she showed up because he had made her mad and now she wouldn't leave. They just pretended she wasn't there and just went on about there business, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I was drinking her presence in because I had missed her so much. I talked to my mom about it ( the dream) and I said, you know that never happened to you, and she said because I never really died.
I could feel my heart breaking and my body aching (from the back pain) and knew that I was going to have to get up because the pain was too much, but I tried to stay in that dream as long as I could so I wouldn't have to let go of her. Dreams can be so cruel! Some people might think it's wonderful to get to see a loved one again in their dreams, but I always know that in the end, I'm just going to have to lose them all over again.