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It scares me to feel good

j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,728
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:23 AM in Chronic Pain
That was the only topic I wanted to talk about but now there are 2. When I,m feeling pretty good, pain under control, depression in check, motivated, ect. It scares me. Because I know that 2 days, 2 weeks, or maybe even 2 months something will happen. And in most cases I don't know why, but the roller coaster ride gets to the top and then hold on for dear life! Because all that was good is gone. replaced by pain, agony, depression, no motivation, no happiness, ect. And back to taking the maximum amount of meds. and still in pain (with a fuzzy head) Now to number 2. Today after feeling great for 1 week. I was having some work done to my house, The type of stuff that I enjoy doing, but know better, so it was hired out. Well I guess I just had to be one of the boys and be involved. So I grabbed 2, 5 gallon buckets of material, because I knew where it was and didn't want to ask the people I'm paying to do it. And I guess I had a moment of insanity. This isn't my "first picnic" I've been riding this roller coaster for a very long time. I deserve everything that's happening to me. and maybe a spanking or something. I guess I'll just never learn. Or....don't want to. I have a ticket to ride, but not one to get off! Good luck,Jim Or stupid, as the case may be.
Click my name to see my Medical history
You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
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Comments

  • Ride that rollercoaster and enjoy the good times when you have them. Today is cash in hand and tomorrow is only a Promissory Note. So live each day as it comes and don't worry about tomorrow. If you don't live in the here and now, then you'll be wasting those days that you feel good!

    At least that's how I live life!

    "C"
  • I am afraid after surgery, I will go gang ho, I'm not the typ of person to sit back and let someone else do it, thats why I'm where I'm at today! (back Problems)For me, by the time I ask someone else to do it I could have already have done it and moved on. I cant even go on vacation without cleaning up the hotel room,LOL I just hope after TLIF, I will let others help me, It so hard not to jump right in with both feet, and get the job done. Take it easy, but Live for today, I need to practice what I preach,LOL. Rose
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,728
    I hope you can reprogram your brain, because it sounds like you have very similar personality traits. My signature line got wiped out, but after waiting many years to get my ddd and bulging disks fixed (what a joke) I only made it 1 yr. before I knocked the next one out. Got that fixed and now I have 2 more and another 2 going. I thought I'd reprogrammed my mind with the help of my pain phych. To be a new me. But I keep slipping up. I hope you have better success.
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • I have the same problem Jim! On the "good" days I want to fit it all in and do as much as possible. I know it's going to backfire and make the days to follow worse but I'm not one to let a good day go by without using it up. You'd think we'd learn to pace ourselves....hahaha!

    Perhaps with time I can learn that skill but now my good days don't come often enough and I want them to be full and gratifying. I want to accomplish SOMETHING because the majority of the time I feel pretty useless. Apparently I have no advise but I do have empathy. If you find the secret to finding that middle ground please let me in on it, will ya?

    Griff
  • Wow! Sounds like its time for some good ole Blues! Bring on B. B. King, Buddy Guy, Howlin' Wolf, etc etc....Well, at least some of the time! When you are at the top of that Roller Coaster! "Let the Good Times Roll!"

    Kinda dangerous I suppose but we all do the best we can do and hope for the good outcomes in the long run! I'm still pre-op, in a lot of pain most of the time but generally fairly even keel when it comes to emotional states. We're all different.

    I wish ya all the best!

    Ken GreyEagle
    Greyeagle
  • I am just on my 1st rung of the ladder waiting on my 1st surgery. However, I hope I show the same determination and courage..to get up and on with it!! I can think on nothing sadder than to lose the zest for life which led to us all ending up with spinal problems.

    Lets face it what a blooming dull life that would have been.
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,728
    Thats a good start of a dam good play list! Makes me feel good just hearing those names.
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • with hagland c, enjoy the good while you have it. remember that some people do not even get that much of a break from their pain. So, consider yourself lucky to feel good and deal with the downhill part as it comes. Dwelling too much on the downhill part of the ride will almost certainly ruin the thrill of the uphill part of the ride.
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