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Bot did I cry today

dmoonchildddmoonchild Posts: 383
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:24 AM in Chronic Pain
Ya know how all of a sudden ya wake up one morning and think "i just cant do this one more day". Well today was that day for me. I get these about once a month where I'm just so sick & tired of having pain suck the joy out of me. Today I was angry at my pain. We got the kids ready for school and I just broke down, in front of my kids and everything. My husband just held me as I sobbed for 10 min. Both my kids came over and hugged me too and said everything will be OK Mommy. I didn't want them to see me like that but I had no control. I HATE this pain I hate it! Im so glad I had off today for election day. I hope you all had a better day.
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Comments

  • It's nice your husband is very supportive. I think it's normal to let it out. take care of you! Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • Absolutely broke down. Lost it. Couldn't handle it anymore. I proclaimed to the world that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. You have an absolute right to cry. You are lucky to have a husband to hold you while you do it. I think getting angry at our pain emboldens us to fight on. Cry and cry all you like. You've earned the right.
    But here's an extra hug. >:D<
  • Thank you. Its so great to come here and vent.
  • I'm sorry you are having 'one of those days...'(ugh).Your kids witnessed you in a moment and I'm sorry for that..I understand and feel empathy.

    I had one myself (or two) a couple weeks ago,and then another about a week later when my pain was exploding.I guess i was expecting my pain to ease up as usual with my meds..not stay the same and seem to get worse.This was the first time that I really noticed a major worsening and I was mad and scared and just sick of it.I don't know if my stress made it worse,and I don't usually get that way...but I think I made mine worse(still not certain?)

    Your pain deserves a day off too.. :))) (I wish)
  • I've had enough of those moments that I can't count them anymore, most of them I've had when I was alone. You gotta let it go when you need to, and the family can handle it...we just don't want them to.
    I look very hard each day for a new joy in life...somedays it's easier to find than others, but let's keep on looking as hard as we can every day...okay? we can do it , we can do it ;)
  • And it doesn't hurt for our kids to witness it. I hid my pain from my three boys for many years, and when I "crashed", it was like nothing they'd ever seen...because I had always hidden myself away when I needed a good cry. After that, we had a perfect opportunity to sit down as a family so I could explain to them that some days my pain got out of control and I could really use their help around the house. They were amazing; my boys would have been 12, 14 and 17 at the time, and it became much easier for me to ask them to help me out with things that would make MY day more bearable, and they didn't bicker so much about "why do I have to do it?" etc.

    I had another crash two weeks ago, and practically ripped my poor husband's head off. No, he didn't deserve it....he just happened to be the poor guy that was there when the dam burst, and was still willing to hold me afterwards.

    This is a long, incredibly difficult journey - dealing with chronic pain - and it's better to let it all out now and then, rather than hold it in and compound both the pain and mental anguish.

    Take care, and I hope things are better for you tomorrow.

    Tracy
  • all do it and sometimes it's just the relief we need it when it seems as though we've reached our breaking point. Last Monday night, my shoulder locked up and I couldn't move without pain. That was my breaking point and while it didn't help the pain, I felt a little bit better. Sending you some >:D< .
  • Me too. I guess that we should be very thankful to have supportive families as lots of folks here do not. Hope you feel better soon.
  • i know exactly how you feel, sometimes it just happens wherever. last nite i had pain scale about 8. i get so sick of every day, every hour. it just gets to you. you have to let lose it sometimes, but it makes you so mad , you just want it to go away. so let it all out when you need to, and may we all get the help we need soon , to put and end to the suffering. always LEO :SS
  • I have days like this too! Lately I've been struggling with the feeing of disgust. I'm disgusted with my pain, with what I can't do and the fact that it affects those around me. My boyfriend has been surprisingly understanding but I still have a hard time letting these feeings out in front of him. I feel terrible about this but if I'm having one of these days I usually stay home although he urges me to come to his house, a 5 minute drive away. I HATE TO BRING SOMEONE ELSE DOWN WITH THESE FEELINGS! At the same time, I'm eternally grateful someone cares enough to even want to be around me when I'm like this.

    Still, I try to make jokes about my back. I hope I don't offend anyone with my favorite joke, here it goes: This morning, I woke up so stiff I thought I was a woody! =)) :D :O) I hope all of you enjoyed my little funny :D I say things like I'm 21 on the outside (22 in a month!!!) but I'm 93 going on 94 on the inside! I think this is somewhat hilarious but some people think I'm just weird! =)) =)) =))

    I wish you all brighter days and assistance from those who love you! I care and I'm here for anyone who needs me... >:D<

    Much love and positive energy,
    Lisa
  • Sending huggs, hope you feel better soon.
  • I have days that I feel sorry for myself and cry. I am fortunate to have a supportive family. My husband is very understanding and fills in when I can't. My children are very caring and independent. I know I can count on help. If I'm alone and miserable, I have my parents I can call anytime. You have to surround yourself with people who will support you, and of course there are these forums here with people that are going thru similar things as you. My thing is feeling guilty and like I'm not contributing much. I'm told if I can't do it, don't worry about it. There's always tomorrow to try again.

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