A Pre-Winter Tale
Its dusk here in Connecticut and leaves has finally come down from the trees. There are only a few stubborn leaves that refuse to relinquish their hold on the trees.
We let our English Cocker – 28 pounds (Lollie) out for her business. Sometimes, she just loves to play, so she after doing what she needed to do; she darted out into the woods behind us.
So, after a nice dinner, some wine, I put on a coat and tromped out into the woods to find her. Two steps into the woods and everything changed. What used to look like beautiful
100 feet trees towards the woods, were now 500 foot terrifying objects. Instead of gentle limbs, they had hungry arms and hands waiting just to scoop up anyone that dared to walk into their woods. Frightened at first, I gather my strong and courage and plodded deeper into the woods. Every step seemed to have awakened some creature just waiting to pounce on me. I cried out to my dogs name, nothing from her, but low groans from the woods instead. I turned to the right and there it was. A 50 foot Boa Constrictor! It was waiting in silence for me to climb over it. I had my walking stick and was ready to do battle. I shined my trusty Ryobi flashlight in that direction and the snake disappeared and instead a gnarling looking branch was hanging part in a tree and part on the ground.
I was safe, at least for the moment. Our woods have coydogs, fox, coyotes and black bear, so I had to make sure as I ventured deeper into the woods I was careful. I turned back to see only a speck of light that shined from my backdoor light. It seemed like miles and miles away.
30 minutes into my crusade to find my dog, I was taken back by these erie light from above. I looked up and there it was! A huge space ship, lights flashing in all different colors and making this strange musical sound. I looked for cover as to avoid being taken up into that space ship. It was only after I saw the AA sign on the tail did I realize it was just a plane! A moment of relief, a moment to relax and sit for a while. Still my dog was not in site. After resting for a spell, I went deeper into the words, still no sight or sound from my dog… But all of a sudden, I heard a loud rustle, something I have never heard before. In the shadow of the Moon, all I could see was the mammoth of a beast.
I shined my light in that direction and what I saw startled me so much, my light went down to the ground. It was a 10 foot Grizzly Bear! I figured this was it. I started to think about my will, did I leave the right things to the right person? and then I remembered two things to do if you are confronted by a Grizzly Bear:
1) Play dead
2) Start to charge the bear, yelling and hooting, arms flaring (works 50% of the time)
I wished I had my long Bowie knife with me, well at least my hedge clippers, but as I reached into my pocket, there it was! My trusting waiter style wine cork screw. (Never leave home without one of these!)
It is an awesome weapon ready to compete. I quickly opened up the corkscrew and then unveiled that trusting 1 inch blade! Who needs a Bowie 15” blade knife, when you have this knife and a turning corkscrew! To battle or not to battle, a question many have pondered over the years.
At first I figured playing dead was the best way to go.. But then I gathered up courage, took of my coat and started in the bear’s direction.. I was yelling and screaming, my arms were flying in the air, I was ready to meet this deadly opponent. I figured this could be my Waterloo, I would either confront and triumph over this beast, or be taken down in the heat of battle. I kept on running and running in that direction, I looked East, I looked West, I looked North and then South, I gazed into the trees… Nothing! I was Proud! I scared away the Grizzly. I just thought how nice it will be to be written up in a New England magazine, with the story about the man who scared away a Grizzly! As I was pounding my chest with pride, I heard something, I froze. It was breaking of branches, the ground was pounding.. What else could I face in these woods? I wanted to run, but I couldn’t, my legs were frozen, I wanted to move my arms, but I couldn’t, so, I decided to lay down curl up into a ball.
This way whatever vicious blood thirsty animal was out there, it would have to take me wrapped up in a ball. I heard the sound coming closer, the ground was moving, my heart was pumping, sweat fell into my eyes. I thought this was it. I met my match.. What seemed to take forever, I finally heard that beast right next to me… I clinched. And then screamed as this wet object was crossing my cheek. By gosh, this beast was going to sample me first before eating me. I wanted to get up and run, but I couldn’t, I was frozen. I expected a heavy claw to come down ripping my flesh to bits, but instead there was this wet tounge licking my face. My dog Lollie was so happy to see me!
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences