I have tried so hard to stay positive, but I'm losing the battle right now. I find myself crying frequently, which is new for me. I'm 7 months post-op and not seeing any improvement in the pain going away. Perhaps my expectations were too high, as I never thought it would take this long to recover. I feel like my surgeon was not totally honest with me. To be fair to him, he did say that the surgery would probably not take care of all my problems, but my back didn't hurt constantly before. I was on heavy doses of anti-inflamatory meds for years, and, of course, have not been able to take them since the surgery. Maybe when I get the okay from the surgeon, they will take care of some of the pain.
My family has not been supportive at all during all of this, which makes me angry. It also depresses me to think of how they will treat me as I get older.
I kept my 5-yr. old grandson yesterday. He's really no problem as far as having to do much for him. When I tried to tell my daughter how bad I was hurting, you know what she said? "Well, at least you can walk and you're not in the bed." I was devastated. She's an RN for goodness sake! Where is her compassion? She's been like this the whole 7 months. Am I expecting too much??? Not once has she said, "What can I do to help you?" Not once! My other daughter lives with me and is basically the same way. I have my own living quarters, and not once has she offered to vaccuum or dust or clean my bathroom. NEVER!!! What's wrong with my kids? Did I really screw up raising them???
I feel so guilty in complaining when I know there are so many others who are so much worse off than I am! I've had only one surgery...so many have had one operation after the other.
I'm sorry to vent so much...I'm not sure what's going on with me. I asked my family doc to put me on an anti-depressant when I went to see her the other day for this ear infection that will not go away. My ear has been stopped up for about 2 months. She made an appointment for me to see an ENT dr. next week. But she didn't give me anything for depression. I asked for Wellbutrin since I know it helps with helping to quit smoking.
I didn't realize how much I could whine at one sitting. Sorry, guys. I'm usually not like this, and I don't like it at all!!