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Paying someone to take care of me

LovinggardenerLLovinggardener Posts: 494
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:28 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
My husband thinks that he has to return to work after this weekend. I just had my surgery yesterday. I am doing very well, but I am afraid to be alone.

Has anyone paid a nurse aide to take care of you? How did you find someone?


  • I have never paid for help. I had surgery on a Monday, and my wife stayed with me that week. My mother stayed the next week, then my wife stayed the 3rd week. I was ready by then. Spend most of the time in bed. I am really glad my mom stayed. She is really active at 73. Had she stayed home, she would have done a million things. We layed around the house and watched TV. Food Network and HGTV. My mom and i both like to cook. My wife has never cooked, does not know how. Been married 15 years. As far as your husband goes, what about FMLA? My wife and I have been working for the same company 14 and 15 years respectively. She also had a week carried over from last year. I don't think you are going to be ready to be alone after 1 week, but maybe 2. I had just gone from a walker to a cane by the middle end of the 2nd week.
  • I really think you'll be feeling OK by Monday morning. If you don't have little ones at home demanding your time and attention, you should be able to rest during the time your husband is at work. You should be able to get up and walk to the bathroom, do some walking back and forth in your house and go back to bed or the couch.

    Have your husband gather some things you can munch on during the day and have them right on a shelf you can easily reach. Have him leave you a large container of water by your bed. If you don't think you're up to walking into the kitchen, have him pack a cooler of foods you would enjoy eating during the day and keep it by the bedside. Or perhaps he could come home over the lunch hour to check on you....

    Look in your yellow pages for nursing services or call the Visiting Nurses Association if your town has one. Otherwise you could call the hospital and ask for some suggestions. But I really think in three more days' time you will be feeling much better.
  • Perhaps I missed something. Didn't you just have a discectomy?
  • I had a microdisectomy yesterday. I took my first shower ok and walked around the block without a walker or cane with my husband. I am trying to be extra careful, so I would like my husband to be with me. Don't get me wrong he has been a saint dealing with my bad moods and taking care of me, but he is not the overly "fatherly" type of a person. Unless I am not bleeding or vomiting, he thinks I will be fine alone. I am going ask my surgeon's nurse practioner on this matter, because he will follow the medical person's directive than my own. And for my own peace of mind, I am going call her.
  • Why is my left side hurting? It started like a sciatica, from the left buttock to the thigh now. The pain is at level 3. I had microdisectomy on my right side. Is this normal?
  • I looked for, found and paid a nursing service for an operation I had (not back related).
    It was good.
    Only a couple of days.

    It's not uncommon for swelling to start post-operatively and begin ramping up 2-3 days after.

    I had svere inflamation, swelling and edema after my L5-S1 micro-d.
    It was pretty bad and kept me in bed for a solid 4 weeks.
    An ESI into the area resolved it all quickly.

    Congrats on being "on the other side" now.
    Take it very easy, no bending, lifting, twisting, shoving, nudging, dragging, carrying, straining, sneezing, coughing, laughing hard..... etc etc
    Keep us up to date on your progress, we'll be cheering for you. O:)
    On the sunny and mild Central Coast of California

    L4-L5 endoscopic transforaminal microdiscectomy June, 2007
    L5-S1 endoscopic transforaminal microdiscectomy May, 2008
  • I think you said in another post that your bulging disk had moved to the right before surgery. Was your pain on the left at that point, or on the right?

    I had a broadbased herniation, which means that there was "stuff" coming out on the left and on the right. I only had pain on the left. My doctor told me that after the left was fixed, the disc material could "settle" differently, and I may start experiencing symptoms on my right side. Perhaps this is what is happening to you, call your doctor and ask.

    You should be ok to take care of yourself after a few days, but if you are afraid to be alone it may be helpful to have someone there if only to calm you down. Do you have any friends or relatives that could visit for a few hours a day?
  • Even though the original disc bulge was on the left side, I always felt the pain on the right. Later the bulge moved over to the right.

    Did your second pain (my sister calls it rebound pain) go away by itself?

    As far as my family, my mother can't drive up here by herself. She is too scared to drive on the highway. My sister is pregnant with triplets. Bad timing. My sister would have driven my mom up here to take care of me. My husband is willing to pick up my mom at midpoint. Meaning my brother-in-law will drive my mom half way to meet my husband. I hate putting people out.

    I will just wait and see how I am.
  • I think you'll be surprised how much better you will feel in three days' time.
  • My insurance would have paid for help.. nurse aides and nurses if I have needed it,which it turned out I didnt. Have you looked into that possibility with your insurance? Just a thought.. take care!
  • I started having mild right side pain about 3 weeks after surgery. It lasted for about 2 weeks, off and on, but it seems to be gone now. I had another MRI done, and I will find out tomorrow if there is a problem there or not.

    Definitely call your doctor and ask if that is normal for your situation. It was sort of expected for me, because of the way my disk was torn, but everyone is different. It might be nothing, but it would be better to get your doctor's opinion as soon as possible.

    Gwennie17 gives excellent advice, you should try what she suggests. I was set up like that for a couple of weeks and it worked very well.

    But, if it makes you feel more comfortable absolutely hire someone to stay with you until you are ready to be by yourself. You will probably be ready sooner than you think. My husband stayed with me for 5 days. I didn't need him to do anything for me, but I don't have any family near me either so I felt better knowing he was there just in case.

    I hope your recovery goes well! Hang in there and keep posting.

  • I had a three-level spinal fusion and was home alone -- I live by myself. Keep the doors locked, don't try to get up and answer the door if someone comes, just take it easy. I did just fine without anyone there to help me. Yes, I used a cane for balance and I made sure I didn't do any bending, lifting, or twisting, but you can have your husband do any of that stuff when he gets home from work.


    3 level spinal fusion, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1, November 2008. Stiff, but I can walk.
  • I had my mom and MIL stay with me the first 2 weeks after my fusion. It was really hard during the first few days and I always recommend having someone in the house with you. I had one stupid accident where I fell on top of my walker after my first back surgery (micro-d). Totally sucked. It would have been disastrous if I was alone. People heal at different rates and some have a harder time than others. It sure is better having someone to keep you company because it is a moral booster.
  • when did the Fentanyl start kicking in? I wore mine for 5 days and got no results. The Zanaflex made so sick, I thought I needed to go to the emergency room. My ear was ringing and heard my hair move. I know it sounds weird. It like was tripping on acid. I haven't found a muscle relaxer that works for me.
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