Yesterday was my third day after having an epidural injection and the pain was so bad. I cried so much and wanted to be put out of my misery since the pain reached a 9 several times. I even thought about going to the ER but again I was paranoid about bad treatment. I laid on ice packs, used a heating pad on my legs (it is usually one but the other leg decided to join in). It felt like my back kept getting hit with a shovel repetitively. It was hell. I woke up at 4 am in terrible pain and felt guilty about keeping my hubbie awake since he had to be at work in a couple of hours. The thing I can't stand when I'm like this is to lay in complete darkness with nothing but the pain to focus on, so I turned the tv on and left the volume muted.
So now it's Day 4 and I still hurt badly and can't do anything. At least the pain has subsided briefly so I can type. I have a convenient set up with wireless mouse and keyboard so I surf the net from bed, thank goodness. Last week my muscle relaxer was increased but despite this nothing touches the terrible muscle spasms when they hit. I usually save it for the evening and night, but I have to take it throughout the day now in hopes of sleeping through the worst of the pain.
My husband is so upset at everything that I've been through and he is so frustrated that nothing has helped me so far since my back problems started and he feels helpless seeing me like this. I don't know what I'd do without his love and support and I wish I could go back and be in the physical state I once was.
I have tried my utmost best to deal with this situation and be brave for everyone around me, but it is so hard in times like these. I don't want my children to see me like this, but they are so understanding and helpful. Also I'd like to add that I am so grateful for all my SH friends and feel proud to belong to this precious community.