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Divorce pending?

stinger66sstinger66 Posts: 67
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:29 AM in Depression and Coping
Wife says she wants out now. We have had our ups & downs & we have both hurt each other in our own ways. Since I had my fusion done 9/25/08 she was there in the beginning & these last 2-3 months she has been distant. She never wants to be close anymore? My son is leaving today to go out of town for 10 days so I will be staying overthere. On top of all this I deal with pain everyday & some sort of depression. I have lost all friends. The future is very dark at this point. No job, back is not any better & now losing my wife. Whats next. I swear sometimes it would just be so easy to swallow a bottle of painkillers.



  • A woman who leaves a man when he needs her the most is...well, i better not say. But she and my ex would get along great as he also had a habit of not being there when i needed him the most.

    This road we find ourselves on is not an easy one.
    it is full of twists and turns. the road crews haven't been out in foever it seems.

    But if you take the time to slow down, take your time, and pay attention to the world around you, you may notice something new and interesting off to the side that you were overlooking before.

    Just because that PART of your life is over, doesn't mean that your ENTIRE life is over!

    I say you are better off with out her!...hang in there!

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
    for you. Not only do you have to deal with the physical issues with your spine, you know have the emotional issues about a pending divorce.
    Cant even begin to think of words to make things easier.
    Some things just have to run their courses, and then things can be sorted out.
    Good luck, take care
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Again, I'm sorry about your wife and no one deserves to be deserted while they are needing help. ..through sickness and health is what I believe that spouses should always uphold. But please don't think your whole life is over. I understand things look bleak for now and I hope your son will let you stay with him on a long term basis. You cared for him all your life and now he must care for you in your time of need. Time has a way of lessening wounds, they won't go away totally but it least the sting will diminish. We're here for you Norm, take care and please hang on.
  • Please hang in there Norm. I have been where you are and it truly is an awful place to be. I bet down the road a little you will start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and that it is probably the best thing in the long run because you need someone that will stick by your side NO MATTER WHAT....PERIOD!!!! Unfortunately, there really isn't much that any of us could say to make you feel any better I'm sure, but just know Norm that you aren't alone and your life IS worth living - that I can guarantee and I don't even have to know you to be able to say that...you were put here for a reason. Be patient with yourself, it's an emotional process and you will come out the other side a much better and stronger person, once again....guaranteed!!!Hang in there, you will be okay!!! Most importantly, don't forget to take care of YOU!!!
  • Losing a spouse to divorce is indeed a difficult thing in the best of circumstances. But even harder in times of need. I have been married twice. That alone is not relevant but what is relevant here is the fact that with both - they were not there when I needed them most. My theory is if a spouse is not there when you need them then they are not here when you dont. Please do not get me wrong - that didnt cause the divorce but it was how I looked at it afterward. I was 40 years old when I divorced the second time after being with the man nearly 20 years. It was not my choice to divorce. I suspect that even as miserable as I was in my marriage, had he not cheated on me, I would still be with him. When I repeat the vows of marriage they are not just words but words to live a life by. For better or worse, sickness and in health.

    As I look back on the last 2 1/2 years of my life I am indeed quite happy with my life with the way it is now. That is not to say that I do not get lonely at times - I am human after all. But I am thankful that my injury occured after my separation as my ex would have made it much worse than it was already. He was an expert in emotional and verbal abuse.......scars from that run so much deeper than the scars of physical abuse. I didnt need that pain along with the physical pain I was already experiencing.

    Norm, you have more friends than you know. Whether you feel like it or not you are a VALUABLE asset in this life. The good Lord put you on this earth for a reason. He has plans for you my friend. He never gives us more than we can handle and if there is one thing I have learned is this life it is that "God may close one door in our lives but at the same time He is doing that He is already opening another". We just have to be willing to see it.

    Hang in there my friend. Living with chronic pain is not an easy task but it can be done. And, if indeed a divorce is pending, in the long run it will make you a better person. Take it from someone who has been there and done that.

    Feel free to PM me anytime you need to talk or vent - I will be more than happy to listen.

  • Dear Norm-I really feel for you, last night I told my hubby how I felt-lost, empty all the sad, bad,stuff. Felt as if my marraige was gone-had our ups n' downs but when the injury arrived I felt like my husband, family and friends left to carry on living their lives. The pill bottle looked so good as to be the fixer of my problems.What stopped me??-I got on this web-site, read and cried (good ugly crying!!)then got hubby to hide my pills just give me what I really need to take.Had a cuppa-enjoyed the warmth of the mug, patted my cat-they love me, even when I am feeling rubbish.Little baby steps to be kind to yourself-ring a helpline- you are worthwhile-people really do care, if we let them. Norm I'm not being dodgy, but I want to send you the biggest, warmest, painfree hug that I can-you are special and you deserve good stuff.
    Hugs N'Loves
  • On day, when your pain is less and you feel better, you will probably see that this was best. If you can, I would recommend getting in to talk to a counselor. The physical pain takes a toll on all of us emotionally then to add a divorce to it. We're here for you. >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<
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