I don't know how much I can stand anymore. I'm sick and tired of this pain which keeps me pretty much homebound and I have no life. All day long I get to stare at the 4 walls laying in bed with a freaking ice pack. This is not life. My kids can't do anything fun because I can't take them out to the movies, mall, shopping etc. and their dad is at work. You don't know how guilty I feel. Last night I had a mini breakdown but thankfully I put myself back together again. I want to go out and not be trapped at home because of this f^&*ing pain. Yes, I'm throwing a pity party and I'm the guest of honor who doesn't care any longer. What's the point? I've tried to be positive, uplifting, keep a sense of humor, and optimistic but it'd not getting me anywhere. Who am I kidding? Maybe it's a punishment, who knows? Anyway, I want to get this off my chest and go on with my exciting routine of laying in bed with my beloved ice pack.