The doc wanted to do an mylogram and we had just discussed all the meds that I am allergic to and then they turned right around and called in all the neds we had just discussed me being allergic to so I wasn't going to do that...was scared about it anyway. I tried to get 2 other opinions but my doc seems to be God allmighty around here and no one will touch it when they find out who he is, so that isn't working. My insurance has been on my rear end for this thing then that thing and keep me all keyed up. I have tried to find help! Therapy? he sent me once...ONCE after about 4 months, a little late don't you think? they shocked me a couple of days and said well it isn't working see ya. He is avoiding me and I do beleive there is something I need to know and they haven't told me. I took my ct's and loaded them and walked in his office on one of my appointments and had it all pulled up on the old laptop and when he walked in I said so doc does this look broke to you? cause it looks broke to me. and he wanted to know how I pulled all that up and I said well there are 328 images on this disc did you not even look at them? then he proceeded to sit there and scroll through all the disc like he had never seen them before in his life. I said you shot them and then give them to me after you was supposed to look at them.
I am frustrated and no I am not whining but my life is speeding by at the an alarming rate. My music WAS all I had. It is not all I can do but it WAS ALL I EVER WANTED TO DO. I spent a massive amount of time in college to do just that. Broke does not even begin to describe the financial situation, disability insurance is only going to pay on stuff so long. Meds are expensive and he will not send me back to work etc yadda yadda yadda, dabba dabba....
So I KNOW people here have it soooo much worse then I do and I am truly sorry and I mean that sincerely! But everyone's case is different. Music to me is like someones prayer FINALLY getting answered when they say, "God please sit and talk to me for awhile." For me it feels like not part of me is missing but has died.
They kept telling me if I didn;t have the surgery I could wind up paralyzed and not be able to play. Well I had the surgery and I can't play and no one wants to fix it either nor do they want to send me to pain management like they said they were going to. I HURT WORSE NOW BY A FACTOR OF TEN THEN I DID BEFORE THE SURGERY and no one wants to or can't explain why. Because people can't see the steel in your neck they treat you like a liar and a pill seeker and it really chaps my ass!!! And I find out today there is a class action against some manufacturer of some of the screws they use in these surgeries because they were substandard and breaking. I can't remember which ones right now.
I wouldn't wish what I am going through on my worst enemy but I sure do wish my doc had to deal with what I do, on a daily basis, for just one week. I bet he would blow his brains out.
So you see I have been trying but it just turns into beating your head against the wall. All the peeps here who talk about docs not listening or insurance companies beleive me I SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU.
Exscuse the typos but my hands are numb.