I tell you,I have just about had it...no I have had it.If it wasn't for my 6 year old daughter and the inability to provide for myself,I think I would,could, just call it quits.We have been emotionally divorced for many years,but,at a time when I was seriously considering divorce,we recieved a phone call from a relative of my husbands,his niece was 7 months pregnant and was going to give the baby to some friends.(friends with 4 kids living on welfare)So you can probably guess the rest of the story.
So now...as I have,over the last few years,had so many spine and pain issues,and am no longer "super-Taun" he is a total jerk.My new primary Dr has suggested I have my husband come in and talk with him,so he can explain some of the problems I'm having,along with the treatments needed.My husband won't go.My last surgery,I insisted he be there,he kind of groaned and squirmed,and said "why do I have to be there?"....uhhhhh! I could scream.He just rolls his eyes if I make any comment on how I am feeling.So,I don't say much. And I'm not a whiner in the first place.But what really is disturbing,is that he minimizes my situation to my daughter.He does this by making light of how mom feels,he's disrespectful to me and says things to her like"mom's an old lady"he even told her "you don't need a mommy,just a daddy".When confronted about this kind of C@@p,he says"what,it's just a joke".
I live for the days and nights when he is working.Even though I do need some help sometimes,I'd rather be alone than deal with his response to asking for help.Which is usually"what,you can do it",or like that of a kid when you tell them to take the trash out and they argue about it to the point that you finally say"I'll do it myself!" I can ask him to do something and he will put more energy into arguing and debating,than it would take to actually do it.
He doesn't know how to balance a checkbook,pay a bill,hell,read a bill.I am on overload physically,emotionally and every other ally.
What set me off this time,is last night I was in such pain and agony(result of overdoing it yesterday,had a yardsale)and just wanted,needed to lie down.He was on days off,I wanted to just lay on the couch for awhile,not have to do anything.So....he went to bed at 6:30! Needless to say,I didn't get to rest.But I did manage to get my daughter to bed by about 8:30,and me too. What is this all about,I don't know....I'm just sick of being married to somebody that puts on such a "great guy" show in front of everybody,(he has countless emotional affairs)then makes life so difficult at home.He will argue about everything,and my 6 year old does the same thing....it is exhausting.
I just want to quit.And I just might,if I get my disability.
Thanks for listening....I need another muscle relaxer.