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Help!? I need advice,going to a party tomorrow!

Faith MFFaith M Posts: 287
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:32 AM in Depression and Coping
I haven't been to a party and met new people in over 3 years. I haven't felt very sociable or outgoing, know what I mean? Well there is a party tomorrow for my best friend for her 50th. I know most her friends are professional working women. One of the 1st things they will ask me is "Where do you work?" I have trouble with that question still, after all this time. I don't want to tell a stranger I am disabled and not working. It's still hard to admit it to myself! I don't want to tell a stranger what I used to do, and who I used to be. I also don't wish to talk about my medical issues at my friends party. One time I asked a person if we could discuss it another time and she was offended. I don't know how to answer this question! I'd be happy if just one person asked me "What do you do?" I have hobbies I'd love to talk about! Help! Party's tomorrow! I could almost talk myself out of going...
Faith M


  • You just answered your own question I think. If they ask where do you work you can answer with I don't but I stay very busy with and tell them all about your hobbies. You shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable because of your disabilities. If they were other noticable disabilities that people can identify they wouldn't even ask that question. Please go to the party with a perk in your step and don't let anyone bring you down no matter how they ask "the question".
  • I have this technique of asking questions in order not to have the spot-light on me. People generally like talking about themselves, I find, and that way the conversation just goes and you can put in what you want to put in.
    I also totally agree with what someone else said about just saying something like "I don't, I do a lot of painting and reading...etc".
    Stay in the moment, enjoy whatever is going on. That positivity will pass on to whoever you talk to, and there's no need to dwell on your injuries or anything you feel brings you down! (that's the part that always bugs me!!)
    Also, a lot of the time, I'll be vague and say, "oh it was just an old injury, no big deal." And wave it off, and ask a question of them....
    Good luck and HAVE SOME FUN SISTER!
  • this is a great chance to get out and practice your people skills.. =D> don't focus on your disability, you are still doing alot!! :D stick to those hobbies you love and throw the questions back at them.. lots of good ideas here on how to handle the situation.. most of all, HAVE FUN!! <:P p.s. wear something you feel absolutely fabulous in!! :D Jenny :)
  • Thank you Tonya, for making this easier. I guess I did answer my own question! Thanks Paul. Good idea Froggy! Ask them questions first, brilliant! I think the reason people ask where you work is because they want to talk about thier work, and I'm a great listener! Thanks Jenny, I'll stick to my hobbies and throw questions back at them. As far as wearing something I feel fabulous in? With these extra pounds on me that's a tough one. I'm going for pure comfort! Thank you all for helping me find a way to answer THE QUESTION! I'm definitely going to this party!!!!
    Faith M
  • I hope you are getting dressed and ready for a wonderful night Faith. :)
  • who said comfort and fabulous don't go together???? :? "You look Marvelous Darling!!" have a wonderful time!! <:P Jenny :)
  • Thank you all for your kind and supportive words! You guys really had my back on this one. No one even asked me the question! Sometimes my insecurities clog my brain. I have a hard time accepting myself this way, so I assume others won't accept me either. Does anyone ever get to a place where they can accept themselves as a permanently disabled person? I've spent so many years trying to "outrun" it or find a way out. Trying so hard to beat this thing, this monster that entered my life and never left. I don't know how to stop running, and accept. It helps me to talk with people who understand. Thank you... I had a great time at the party and I'm so glad I went.
    Faith M
  • hi!!! :H so glad you had the best time. <:P you don't want to let FEAR run your life. you took control, faced your fears and had a great time. now take a look at yourself and try and find what is holding you back? :? what is causing you consdernation?? you will probably find FEAR somewhere in there.. so let go,, relax,, think ahead and i know you will find yourself on a new path all together!! =D> remember, SH is here for you!! :D Jenny :)
  • You've been so supportive! I realize after reading your posts that you are recovering from surgery. I hope you are healing well and feeling better every day! Sorry to hear about the postponement of the wedding. Your wedding I assume? Get well soon, and thanks for being so kind.
    Faith M
  • i glad you had a good time i have all those feelings when ihave to socialise also!!

    LOVE P
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