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Does your time on Spine-Health impact others?

dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,856
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:32 AM in Matters of the Heart
I have read posts over the past several years about members who have stated that because of their time online with Spine-Health it created some problems with their spouses or significant others.
There is no question that once you start getting into the posts, time goes by so quickly and you almost become addictive. I know I have been that way.
Some members have told me that their spouses are jealous not only because they are online with others, but because its taking time away from them.
Then I have heard from others that their spouses get involved, not looking at the posts but discussing the information that has been exchanged and talking about various members.

Talk to us! Has your time spent on Spine-Health effected anyone else? Is it positive or is it negative?
Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com


  • I can say my time is definitely positive!

    My wife is so supportive and does everything she can, but she also realizes that she does not fully understand CP and its implications. It does not bather her that I spend a lot of time on Spine-Health, in fact she thinks it is probably healthy because everyone here is in the same boat. She knows that I also try and offer help to others. I think she also can see that my interaction with other members helps keep me thinking positive. She also knows that I come here for information on procedures and symptoms as part of my ongoing research.

    I am thankful for Spine-health and I am sure she would say the same. I also am thankful for the friends that I am gaining here, that is a wonderful thing!
  • I believe that everyone's time here impacts somebody, whether it be our at-home family or our spine-health family. Our at-home family may not realize just how POSITIVELY it impacts them. We come here for support, interaction with others like us, and to (hopefully) impact others on the site in a positive way.

    The support we get will ALWAYS have a positive impact on our home-lives. I know that I am less likely to complain or even unload on my children when I can get the support here.

    The interaction between members and the support we give, will almost always have a positive impact on our home-lives. To me, it's like playing Santa all over again. If I can help just one person through a rough patch, that is the best anti-depressant I could ever hope for. This keeps me uplifted, and that is always positive, no matter where you are.

  • I would hope that it does,i also think that at times one has to step away from the forum,and take what you might call a time out,that way you dont become too addicted the forum...... I am thankfull for the few friends i have met on spine-health ...
  • just reading what others have to say helps me feel relaxed and part of a great group of "spineys." <:P my time spent here is nothing but positive!! :D sure, time flies by but for that time my pain is alitle less and my mind is sure not on the pain!! it feels great to be able to reach out to my friends here and have the chance to make new friends.. i really feel great everytime i welcome someone and i hope it adds a little something to their start at SH. :D my life is much more fullfilled and so much more happier!! :X hugssss to all my SH friends!! >:D< Jenny :)
  • Before i found this site, i was crying not knowing if i could go through with my surgery ,. But now yea ill make it . Only because of the wonderful people here. And for my family absolutly my daugthers showed me how to get started on this site and for my husband hes happy when im happy he says ,theres been a change in me . All good! There are a coulpe of really close friend iv met that i know i can turn to. There is still the typing thing still not good , but maybe ill get better . thank all of you so much. REBEL Renee <):)
  • This forum has helped me a great deal. My husband is glad I found it. I share post with him about what others are going through and he is very supportive that I have found others that are going through the same thing as myself. And through this site it has helped me to educate him about my conditions. So thank you spine-health for being a life saver! >:D<
  • My family was a little freaked out about me being in a chat rooom. My hubby did not like me chatting w/men. He's usually not the jealous type! These days my hubby and I discuss many of the posts I read. We talk about what others have been through, and how they dealt with it. It keeps our line of communucation open as we weigh our options and consider suggestions from others. I am so thankful for this site!
    Faith M
  • When I first came to SH, my hubby was very understanding because I found information on my upcoming ACDF (which was so new to us) and grateful that there were people out there I could talk to that made me more comfortable with the surgery. I usually was on at work so it didn't take any time from my being with him, but on the weekends he didn't mind.

    During my recovery, I was on here a lot finding out about recovery, helping others, making friends, etc. During that time, my hubby started thinking that SH was having a negative affect on me - that when I would hear of others' problems then I would suddenly have those problems too. Kind of like reading a book of symptoms - suddenly you have the symptoms that you read about.

    Of course, that wasn't the case and as my recovery moved forward and my lumbar issues got worse he once again became grateful that I had a place to get information and support and he's proud that I help others when I can. It doesn't bother him if it takes time away from him any more that it bothers me that he goes golfing with his friends. He also enjoys stories I tell him about the posts here. Sometimes he even has questions - like what was PapaRon's dinner like with Mary from Peter, Paul, and Mary? Or what camera is Jay911 using? Or how's phxchele doing after she broke her foot?

    For me personally, Spine-Health has always be a positive experience. I've made some great friends and consider this my spiney home. There is no place else in the world that I could possibly go where I'd get what I need in dealing with all this crud. And I try to give back when I can because we're all in the same spiney boat.

  • Cath, you made me remember the whole reason I no longer use Jusserfinn. My kids thought the site was having a negative impact on me as well, and requested that my account be closed...
  • Hey Kat. I'll bet there are a lot of people that would say the same thing. It'll be interesting to see.

  • Another good topic to ponder-Oh,how glad I was to find this site. The support of a wide range of people who have a common issue has been so positive. The mix of factual information and the acceptance to be able to vent when in despair has only been good for me. My husband is glad I am able to find other spiney's who have created a "life" and we discuss the issues raised and apply them to ourselves where we can. I've cried for the people struggling and laughed at the jokes shared and felt a sense of belonging which I lost when my life became less mobile. Just reading the posts when too scrambled from the meds gives me comfort and a sense of security. My four adult kids and my hubby see me becoming more positive because of this site and I have heard them telling friends to check SH for themselves. Thank you for the chance to share and to take-stock of the benefits of this site-Hugs n' Loves - Paula
  • My family and friends were supportive but I felt like I was fighting this battle alone. SH has helped me emotionally, mentally, as well as physically with valuable advice, info, and new friends I feel connected with through our common bond. All positive for me. As for my family, they are happy I have "my place" to find comfort and share with others. It gives my husband a break.LOL! He even bought me my own laptop so I could get on SH anytime I want. I share the jokes, how my SH friends cope, what they have encountered,compare my progess, etc. with my husband, sons, friends. My boys are glad I'm coming out of the dinosaur ages and can navigate on a forum where I found friens to share life with! LOL!

    Thank you my new and wonderful spiney friends!
  • when youre in the state that most of us occupy there aren't a lot of activities you can enjoy.
    i find that i enjoy the site. the people i meet and the knowledge i gain plus the problems of others keep the brain busy. the group and team atmosphere is also a boost to my moral. when youre up at 3am and someone on line is in trouble all of a sudden you have serious responsibilities that need immediate attention. your thinking is beneficial to someone else. your life has a little purpose.
    That's something everyone needs.
    my wife however is not thrilled by the extra time i spend on line. she has yet to see the purpose in it. She thinks the time i spend on SH is a sign i'm too wrapped up with my health problem.
    i asked her to read this thread but she declined. she's from the old school. you have a problem, keep it to yourself, don't bother others with it. I'm glad that old stoicism doesnt have a place here.
    anyway may the team grow stronger
  • :D My significant other is quite happy I have this forum to chat about my pain issues. He's the strong, silent type and engaging him in a lengthy conversation about how I'm feeling and my "Issues", well, he'd rather have a root canal. But, he shows his support in many other ways.

    So, there is no down side to being engaged on this forum. This forum threw me a lifeline when I was in extreme pain, trying to keep my job, losing my job, feeling socially isolated, couldn't do my regular activities and most importantly, found a place of wonderful, understanding people who didn't make me feel worse for not being able to "tough out" the pain.

    And, no one's mentioned this, but the help and support we receive here is freely given with no $$$ attached to it. If I hadn't found this forum, I would have probably spent $$$ to go see a therapist to gave someone to talk too about the abrupt change to my life.

    I've never belonged to a "club" of sorts but feel lucky to have found my spiney friends :)

    Take care,

  • My husband is too busy doing chores, lawn, shopping, cooking since I can't help. I try to sit outside and watch him weed and even nip a few buds myself now. I would've lost it if I hadn't found spinehealth and first in the chatroom others made me feel not so alone as well as reading the posts. Spinehealth has been a positive experience for me. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I think it's impacted me, and that's all that matters. My hubby isn't impressed by message boards, he thinks they're all a bunch of fanatics and won't even try to read them. It's too bad, he could get a lot of insight if he got on here.

    I am up a lot in the middle of the night and do my reading and posting then so it doesn't have an impact on the time spent with my family. Add to that the fact that my time at the computer is so limited these days and I'm no trouble at all!

    I'm glad to read that most of the responses are positive'The life of a person with CP can be isolated and if we get joy from coming onto Spine Health who would dare want to take that away?

  • SH changed my isolated and lonely life. I was so depressed. I was home alone most of the time, had moved out of state so no close friends, not able to work anymore so no work friends, soooooooo depressing. My husband is very supportive of me being on this website, including the chat room. He knows it has made a big difference in my life that also has affected his.

    I have made wonderful friends from all over, including one near me in my new adopted state! Next week, a special friend from across the pond is visiting America for the first time and staying at my home! How great is that???!!!!! She will also be meeting a few people she has chatted with for a long time in the chat room.

    Best wishes to all.....Marianne
  • I found it shortly before my surgery in Dec. and while reocuping from surgery it has helped me to keep from getting even more depressed. Iowa this past winter was awful with ice and cold. It made it so hard to go out, worrying about falling on ice. It was a place to talk to my friends when I couldnt sleep at 2 in the morning. It was a shoulder to cry on when I had my 22nd IV treatment for pnuemonia. How could it not have had a positive place in my life?
    My friends here are wonderful, caring people, who have some of the same issues as I do, so that I dont feel alone in this journey. I have found so much information and compassion here, I dont know what I would have done without it. My husband thinks it has given me something great to keep my spirits up. He asks if I have heard from this person or that person.

    I have gone through so much in the past 3 years, that I hope that I can give back to others. Give them hope or information, so they may not have to go through some of what I have. That is what I hope I can give back to others! Hope and Support. What I have recieved unselfishly. Hope all my friends here are having a good day! :H >:D<
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