Welcome, Friend!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Veritas-Health LLC has recently released patient forums to our Arthritis-Health web site.

Please visit http://www.arthritis-health.com/forum

There are several patient story videos on Spine-Health that talk about Arthritis. Search on Patient stories
Protect anonymity
We strongly suggest that members do not include their email addresses. Once that is published , your email address is available to anyone on the internet , including hackers.

All discussions and comments that contain an external URL will be automatically moved to the spam queue. No external URL pointing to a medical web site is permitted. Forum rules also indicate that you need prior moderator approval. If you are going to post an external URL, contact one of the moderators to get their approval.
Attention New Members
Your initial discussion or comment automatically is sent to a moderator's approval queue before it can be published.
There are no medical professionals on this forum side of the site. Therefore, no one is capable or permitted to provide any type of medical advice.
This includes any analysis, interpretation, or advice based on any diagnostic test

Post-op Pictures of Medtronic Mophine IMPLANT

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,671
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:32 AM in Pain Management
Please help me. I can't find any information on what a Medtronic pain pump looks like after it's implanted-- Medtronic reps told me to ask doctor; doctor told me to talk to Medtronic?

First, I am not some freak that likes looking at operation scars.
I have fibromyalgia.
I have been on disability for a few years with my illness finally making me homebound/bedbound. I am on morphine short-acting and long acting with fentanly patches, ambien to sleep and clonezepam to stop musle spasms and twitches.
My Pain doctors suggested a pump implant, but the consulting surgeon didn't have any pictures of the operation scars, commented I was skinny, and I haven't been able to find any picutres on line.
I keep getting promised if this works, I could get my life back, but part of my like was making some money doing acting and tv work. Nothing big-- but looks and fitting into a clothes matter.
More important, the disease is an auto-immune disease that makes the body attack itself. I've had surgery to remove benign breast tumors, only to get scar tissue so big, my doctor thought they were tumors she removed.
can anyone please tell me of ANY web-sites that have pictures of what the scars look like. the rep from the Implant Company promised to email me pictures TWICE and hasn't. I'm going to get a second opinion once I get approved for the operation.
I'll have the operation even if I look like a shark bit into me cause I can't live with this pain anymore. I cry every night until the pills hit only to cry 3 hours later until I can take my next dose. My spouce is great. But fibroyalgia hurts so bad, he can't even hold me. I'm screaming in pain in an ambulance to get to the ER for a morphine shot and he can't even hold my hand cause if feel like he's breaking it.
Last year we spent hundred of dollars on Air-condition bills we didn't have the money for because the fans felt like they were scraping my skin off. (the clonzepam helps that; and VISA!)
If You know any web-site that have post-op pictures, please let me know.
If you can send me any information or would be brave enough to send me pictures of your operations, I'd be forever in you debt.
Just send me a private message and I'll send you me email-- I only have one and it has my real name.
I understand this is personal request. But you sound like you have gone through my fear and lack of inofrmation. I promise, if I have the operation--and I'm 99% sure I'm having it) to post my Pictures everywhere on the internet so no one have to ask anyone again.
I have a skinny body everywhere by up top-- i'm 5'2 and 95 lbs.
I have no fat on my stomach or back-- NONE. I've can't do physicaly activity, live off twinkies, and look like I do 800 crunches a day.
If they could hide the implant in my chest no one would notice. Until I started reading other people's accounts, I didn't even know it could be placed in your stomach Because my surgeon said it's always placed in your back.
thank you for you help and understanding in this matter.
thank you again,
If I'm so sick and life's so awful, why am I this vain: Three things I'm worried about:

1. before I was homebound, I made money off of acting and doing minor modeling. I'm worried that "if I get better enough to have my old life back" I won't be able to have my old life back. I still get calls from my agents every once in a while, but I'm too sick and tired to work.

2. I've had bad scar tissue problems with pervious surgeries (as menioned above) and since I'm very thin (putting on weight by choice in not a option-- I've tried)-- I can feel the lumps of scar tissues pressing against my skin from those surgeries.

Since I have a auto-immune disease (fibromyalgia) that causes pain, I'm afraid too much scar tissue or scars from the pump implant will cause nerve pain the pump won't cure. Then I'll be worse than I am now. I can't even imagine being WORSE. I don't think I could survive more pain.
3. I can post-op pictures of every other surgery on the web. Before and after breast jobs. What pace make implants look like?
I'm skeptical of any surgery or any thing I can't get info on and of any DOCTORS that refuse to give info. I'm a great researcher-- where are these pictures? They are all cartoon pictures of the placement of the implant? WHY is this such a secret? That scars me!!!


  • I can't offer you any pictures of a pump. I have been begging my PM for one, so I can be less homebound and resume a normal life (I struggle through 4-5 hours of work, but meds that even take my pain from an 8 to a 5-6 after work don't agree with me, let alone our attempts at better pain conrol). He is not a fan of pumps, citing he sees to many complications from them. I am single, and it really is lousy that I can't participate in my former hobbies, take long trips, can't do anything that involves sitting for > 30 minutes, like dinner or movies with friends. I am 5'4", and before my surgery was about 102-108 (fairly petite), competitive athlete, with little abdominal fat either. The pumps are a decent size - about 3.5 x 2.5 inches from what I can see. They need to be relatively superficial to the skin in order to refill. So yes, they will be noticeable through your skin & tight clothing. If you did swimsuit modeling, forget it. Other modeling (general looser clothing, runway, face), no problem. But if your quality of life is so bad, and you are offered a pump, I think its a no brainer, and and the risk of sounding & being flagged offensive - you are being too superficial and don't have your priorities right.
  • Hi,
    I do not have pictures but I can share with you my story. I have 2 spinal cord stimulator's (SCS) implanted. The SCS is for pain control. Each implant has wires that run under the skin from my neck/back to my sides. The wires are connected to a battery about the same size as the pain pump. I have one battery on each side. They sit against my ribs. I am thin and yes, you can see the batteries. They stick out about 1/4 to 1/2 inch. You can see the wires and the scars from where the wires were implanted. I do not care at all about scars and scar tissue. I do not care about the batteries sticking out from my sides. I guess I look pretty scary without my clothes on. My husband does not seem to mind. Pain took away my vanity. I am thrilled to have my SCS's. I am able to work full time and I have a much better quality of life. You might not be able to model. But you should be able to get out of bed and out of the house. That is what you want, right?

    Take care,
  • I can sort of relate to what you're going through because I'm having a morphine pump implanted very soon for severe intractable pain in my lower back and legs. I don't know if my autoimmune disease (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease- "lupus like") played a role in my back problems, but I wouldn't be surprised.

    I put on weight the last three years of suffering with this and have lost an inch off my height. ~X( I used to be 5'7, 130 lbs (not petite of course) but hell of a lot better than what I look like today. I am curious too about post op photos and how I will look like, but I do have a lot of abdominal surgical scars such as from a hysterectomy and appendectomy. It'll just be one more I guess, oh well.

    I know I'll be getting a pump that will hold 40cc but I don't know which exact model. I guess I can hide it by wearing baby dollish tops, tunics, etc and no tight sweaters. They have to be extra large because I'm very large chested (and real :D ) We all have to improvise when it comes to clothes, huh? :D

    I'm sorry that you've gone through so much in your life. Please know that you're not alone and that you have a large group of friends here who relate and share similar experiences. Feel free to PM me anytime you have a question or you just want to chat. I look forward in getting to know you. Take care >:D<
  • Mine is located on my right side just above where the appendix would be approx. 4 inch scar runs horizontally just above the belt line. Something you need to know. Mine was implanted in 2004 and I will need to have the battery replaced in 2010. This is done as an out patient. All in all it is well worth the trouble.
  • I have an SCS implant but am also having a pain pump implant to take care of my still savage pain.
    You are not alone in your pain.
    Good luck
    Patsy W
  • Entire reply removed. Attacking members will not be tolerated.........Paul (moderator paulgla)
  • Why do you attack people who try to help out? You posted here looking for advice and support, and what do you do? Knock down the people who care enough to respond. I don't know or care who you were/are but you just don't go around slamming folks. If you don't like the advice or think it's not good enough, keep it to yourself and just say THANK YOU. How can you accuse Optimist of being vain when you don't even know her? I've known her for a long time and she is a very caring and giving friend who doesn't need to put up with your crap and ranting and raving. What did I say to reap your fury? Big freaking deal about breast size, washboard stomachs, etc. You can't find post op pictures then so what. If we never seen them, why bash us. Yes, you have pissed me off and don't expect people to come around and help you when you decide to be selfish and rude. I am not in a habit of responding like this to people but I will not stand here and let you berate my friends. Good riddance.
  • Hello:

    first, I'm sorry I offended anyone. I did not "flag anyone as offensive" despite being "too superficial."

    I am sorry that instead I opened the conservation to debate. I did not know the rules to this website and am used to a more Open dialog.

    (forgive me, I sick today and wouldn't be writing except for the strong re-action).

    I on my spouce's computer so I don't have a copy of my on to qoute from.

    I'm not going to use anyone's names as I'm afraid of being erased. But some got to comment to my post even after my post was taken down.

    the comments leave what I said out of context and make me look bad: what does wash board stomachs and breast size have to dow with anything?

    This operation, which I would re-post ONLY my observation of the Operation and NOTHING else, doesn't have any pictures. WHY?

    I'm not taling vanity? Although I have some. I tlaking knowledge. Don't any of you find it scary that there on NO pictures of this one the Entire website. I gave a list of all the ocmplications this operations causes. And although offended by a member who asked I could have flagged, I offered information about these complications and advise with her illness.

    This is a dangerous operation that can lead to scar tissue on the spine causing anything from pain, nerver damage to paralisis. The operation can cause permenant car tissue damage which is why MY breast were an issue.

    I had 3 tumor removed. The surgery causes so much scar tissus that the tumor still feel they are there. (the largest feel about 1/2 inch).

    I don't know how that will feel on my back both from a nerve damage point of view and a fibromyalgia view.

    I pointed out that the Company who makes these devices won't give out pictures or stats. It's the only time I've had surgery or any of my family and friends have had surgeries were stat, possible bad phycial damage, and before and after picture weren't available. Why?

    I also never stated I had washboard abs. I stated I was skinny and since I have Fibromyalgia, that I was afraid the device would rub against me and cause bedsores or triggerspots the device wouldn't fix.

    I only state how skiiny I was to hear from others who were skinny who might have had the surgery and also to get info on what the pump feel like if you loose weight after getting it.

    Someone on a pina site wrote they couldn't sleep on their back for more than 30 minutes due to the pain of implant. I was saying I had no fat not to show off, I could compain I look like a puddle in humid weather or a hundred other self-complaints I don't feel safe listing when someone can call some else "superficial" and I'm suppose to either flag them or say thank you.

    We are a family. I'm glad that person defended someone and I won't flag them even though comment stayed and my didn't.

    I went to the ER two days ago, so I'll write more in a few days; but until then, to the person/people I offended:
    1. I thanked Everyone for their advise, even poepl who sent private emails.

    2. I'm sorry I got offended about becalled ultra-vain while I'm in pain every night, listed my meds, and told some people who wanted this Dangerous surgery they could who were not on Social Security disaility they had options.

    3. I also, like it or not, do not consider myself LUCKY because my doctor has okay this device. I did not vent that frustration on anyone. I responded in a wrong way for this web-site-- I am sorry for that. I didn't know the rules. Maybe I should have just flagged the person. BUt I believe in free-speech as long as it's not hate speech.

    4. I gave information to the person I who insulted me of many different options for her conditions.

    Please take me up on these options. You do not want a back surgery and an implant. Trust me. It may seem like a cure all, but it can get infected and the other list of bad side effects I will re-post when I'm feeling better.

    There are lots of medications. I have taken over 30 and in different combination for years and would be glad to advise you on them.

    I also would be glad to give you information on essential herb, pilates, and other non-western things that help.

    Last, some people on this website hurt my feelings. I sorry if stating that get this post flagged and if so, I won't be back. I gave legal & medical to that person. So please, before you decide to take some posts down and leave others up, please read why I may have been offended.

    As the posts after my deleted one states, I did come here for help. And after all the medical & legal advice I left, I'm getting call names.
  • You are not so unique in your situation, that it excuses you from following the rules like the rest of us have to. Everyone here has pain issues, surgery issues, home life difficulties etc ... As much as we all would like to think, we are not so unique that we can set ourselves apart from all the rest and expect to be treated any different.

    Everyone who signs up to use this site, has to agree to the terms set by the owner. The moderators are here to make sure that we all of us follow those rules.

    You have to keep in mind that the Internet has a wealth of information, but not necessarily ALL information. There are procedures, treatments, medications and implants, that you may not be able to find anywhere on the Internet. That's where your doctor comes in. If your doctor is the one recommending a specific procedure or implant, then get that information from the doc. When I was first approached about an implant, the doc handed me a DVD and book about it. He asked me to watch and read and then write down the questions it generated and bring those with me to see him at my next appointment. You can't expect a bunch of spine patients on an Internet forum to do that for you. Instead you will get personal experiences and opinions.

    Your last post doesn't make much sense, in regards to not having your own post to look at. No matter who's or what computer you log on with, the forum servers have all your information stored on them. If you are able to log in under your username, then you will see all of your info just like the rest of us can. And lastly, not a personal attack, just an observation ... when a person is so sick or in so much pain that they can't think straight or need to go to the ER or doc, they generally can't sit at the computer for very long to type in a lengthy reply.

    I hope you find the answers that you are looking for. Just keep in mind that you may not find them here. This is a fantastic website, but it is not the single most source of all information. Our doctors and surgeons all go to years of schooling so they can provide that for us.

  • All anyone has to do is go to the home page of this awesome website. Then, go to the "video" section. These videos show everything from laminectomies to spinal cord stimulator implants. And all kinds of things in-between. Not only are they informative, but they are given by actual, peer reviewed MEDICAL PERSONNEL and can be counted on to be accurate in their information, as opposed to someone who may not be honest in who they are giving erroneous information.

    Me - I'd take the DOCTOR advice any day!

  • Hopefully, this link will bring you where you need to go:


    Good Luck Lady Dee.

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,846
    for Spine-Health they also indicate that they have read the Forum Rules.
    The Rules are laid out in several different areas so that they are easy to see. Besides the initial registration / welcome note, anyone can check the rules by clicking on the FAQ.
    Any web site has to have a set of rules in which all its members need to adhere to. Here at Spine-Health we tend to give more latitude to our members because we understand the medication situations and realize how frustration pain can be.
    That being said, claiming ignorance about the Forum rules is not any type of excuse. I would much rather have someone who read the rules and perhaps wants to discuss or challenge one, that is fine.
    We have over 11,000 members on this site and we always take the approach that everyone is equal.
    We encourage participation and discussions, and at the same time we do our best to quiet bickering, namecalling, etc that some types arises from posts.

    If at any time, anyone has questions regarding this matter, always feel free to message me or send me an email.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • First, I can't believe I'm in this situation but I understand the confusion. I have appoligized.

    Second, thank you to all who wrote me privately and gave me the strength to not to log off. I will if that's what the majority of people want or I choose this is not the right forum. None of us need to be divided; we're too ill and have too many people against us: drug companies, the FDA, the War against Drugs stopping our pain medication, doctors who operate of give "injections" for the money.

    We are the only ones who know what it's like to predict the rain by an ER visit. Uproot our lives to avoid snow.

    To the people who wonder how I can write long post and be in pain: I'm a professional writer, so writing LONG is easy for me-- short posts are hard when I'm sick cause I have to stop myself from rambling and edit. (also, ER gave me really good steriods and IV meds that give me 2 days of relief but are too dangerous to stay on long term.)

    PLUS: most of this post is one that was removed but edited since I promised i would re-post medical and legal info/opinion/experience to nice people who requested it.

    to meydey321-- your first post gave me great strength. I didn't mean to insult any of your friends. I don't hold my pain higher than anyone else. That's why I'm keeping my promise to re-list the Non-controversal parts of my letter that gave medical and legal advice.

    To other people thinking my appology was not reading the rules-- It's an appology, not a Senator confessing an affair. Chill-out.

    I believe in Free-speech. I responded to someone who INSULTED me. I could have flagged them as "offensive" by their own post's statements; instead I said they "HURT MY Feelings." I have feelings. You may not know me, but I have feelings. Being called "vain" (fraid to quote real word said so I don't get block) when I gave every detail of my body, how this implant would physical disfigure it and Possilby cause more pain was being Naked to strangers and People should RESPECT THAT. I do. That's WHY I didn't flag. I truely thought Airing differences in SPEECH was better. I didn't use bad language and even OFFERED medical advice. (The rules said you could quote people, so I did. I didn't know the rules meant you couldn't say how those "quotes" made you feel...

    Offer for Free/researched Information to anyone who has trouble finding information. (from original "edited" post as promised)

    After Oral steroids to stop a few Fibromyalgia bouts and steroid trigger shots (one by a very bad doctor who did it every month to get paid. Before I had only gotten it every 3-4 months-- OLD DOCTOR didn't take Medicaid while waiting to win Social Security Disability & get Medicare so I had to see Bad Doctor.) Bad Doctor caused me to gain 25 lbs. in 6 months. Every doctor I saw on a semi-regular basis saw my great double Ds (turning into triple Ds and New Steroid-induced Butt-- where ALL the fat went (I did go from 22 inch waist to 25 inch) and these Doctors thought I looked great. NOT ONE CARED I gained so much weight in 6 months. I was curvy and they Loved it.

    My OLD DOCTOR saw me 8 months later (when I won Medicaid and said, “STOP SEEING QUACK immediately!” I was covered in fast-growth stretch marks (which healed, mostly) and lost the weight in about 6-8 months.

    I'm concerned, as is MY PAIN SURGEON (who wants to do Morphine PUMP IMPLANT), that:
    The pumps are a Huge, about 3.5 x 2.5 inches & need to go in body fat- which I don’t have.. They need to be close to the skin in order to refill. So it WILL be noticeable & possibly HUGELY irritating to MY body-type from the inside and out. (sic: wording changed so not to quote someone I respected but I fear quoting anyone at the moment until I work out all the misunderstandings I’ve caused )

    Where is it going to go? I have NO fat. NONE. (this is not bragging. I'd love to have hips. I loved that the steriod shots gave me hips for one year-- don't love that make break my bones and cause Organ failure in 20 years) Some people are skinny and have a little abdominal fat. I have None. You can bounce a quarter off my stomach. When I could work out, you could see my ovaries!

    I asked my questions not to be told it's a "deleted opinions" I found demeaning and lacked the sensitivity before are accusing me of.

    This is a Major surgery—for me. By My standards. I stated my modeling for ONE reason-- so you'd know how skinny I was. I not bragging about being some great beauty--- most people who've seen Models in real life know they are Naturally 20-40lbs under weight. Luckily, my doctor happens to be Indian so he is used to tiny women from his country. (meaning he had experience operating on people who are like me: short, skinny, olive skinned & prone to scarring.

    STILL: My doctor's worried, as am I that the PUMP will irritate my skin from BOTH the inside and outside:
    *scar tissue which can damage spinal nerves (I had 3 benign tumors in my breast removed; 3 years later the scar tissue was so big, it felt like the NONE of the tumors were Ever removed!)
    *Any bump from a Fellow NYer or accidental brush against door/wall (I'm klutzy: both from Fibro and naturally) will dislodge the wiring or pump
    ** this can cause extreme pain as medicine doesn't flow onto spine
    ** nerve damages as medicine flows onto nerves or cause swelling around nerves
    ** Meningitis type headache if it CAUSES dislodgment of wires and makes spinal fluid pile up (I've witness this from my spouse after his brain tumor was removed-- it's the only pain that scars me worse than my own)
    * Fibromyalgia causes both internal and external trigger points. No ones knows how the disease reacts to ANYTHING. No long-term studies on Pump Implant as we're just getting approved for it.
    SO, My doctor's afraid that no FAT will cause the pump to rub against my skin and cause MORE/NEW trigger spots that can't be helped by Pump.
    *A hundred other concerns when dealing with an operation that involves New technology, a Disease no one knows about, and Spinal Nerve manipulation that can leave a patient sicker, paralyzed, in more pain, READ Medtronic’s Product warnings.

    ***PLUS, what happens IF Pump works and I can exercise again? Will I shrink back down to 85lbs? Will My waist go back to being 22 inches? How does that affect PUMP? If all the bad things I listed above didn’t happen at current weight, will they at lower weigh? (And, no, there’s no “well, just keep the weight on. I only gained weight because of medicine, steroids, and being Bed-bound. I walk the dog around the block while eating a Big-Mac I loose weight.)

    NO ONE should get this pump if their MEDS are still allowing them a life-- even a part-time life. It's dangerous. Plus, it's expensive and if your insurance policy changes, it costs about $2000 to re-fill. I can't afford that. Most of us on disability can't.

    Finally, I've had bad surgeries with post-op bleeding, infection, scar tissue, etc. The Pump’s elective and I'm scared.

    And yes, I have some vanity. I want MY OLD LIFE BACK-- as do we all. The surgery involves a 6 inch scar on the belly or side (which ever is fattest--- Neither, I'm skin-tight). It then involves a 2-4 inch scar on back-- no problem, I'll just get a tattoo-- but I can't cover up 3 inches by 3 inches by 2+ inches sticking out of the surface of my skin with a tattoo. So yes, I'm worried about looking like a SNAKE that SWALLOWED a FROG.

    I'm worried/terrified of Complications.

    I'm worried about it not working, another DOCTOR making a ton of money off me, and then making MORE removing the PUMP: causing 2 scars on my belly and back. By the way, 6 inches is the length of my hip to rip cage (I have long legs for a short person & Bubba Boobas-- why I could model.) These scars would make my Olive skin (which doesn’t scar well) look like I was bitten by a shark.

    Yes, my Vanity wants to make sure the pump will work and not just be another horror story of the PUMP being removed after 3-6 months.

    This operation can leave me completely DISFIGURED, all of the complications I listed above and I'm prone to complication, and might not even work. PLUS; I have no information on HOW many Fibromyalgia patients HAVE even gotten the operation, what the success rate is, and if it's going to make me sicker.

    *Re-wording: People who can still work but are having some trouble with medication, please don’t jump at this operation. It’s dangerous. If you email me, I can help you discuss your medication options with your doctor. I’, part of a patient helping patient’s support group. I do the medication research. I’m been on almost everything. Fentanyl patches. Morphine ER & IR, Oxycontin ER & IR, Ambien, Rocxcontin, Percocet, hydo-what-evers, Valiums, soma, anti-depressants, Neurotin, Topimax (sic)—I can help you find a combinations that works for you. Also, sometime you have to change drugs because of tolerance. I have the worst tolerance to side-effects (some drugs have almost killed me) and a quick-tolerance for pain medication. I switch/rotate pain medication every 3-6 months. I can help you with medications, side effects, talking to your doctor, and requesting dosages 9sometimes it’s better to go lower dosages on “12-hour pills” and take them every 8 hours.”

    Also, I know about essential oils and other things Doctors don’t tell you about. Sage and spearmint helps almost all nausea (as long as those scents don’t make you nausea). A few drops on cotton balls in a plastic bag makes car/air sickness almost gone for most people. I can recommend quality stores that are cheap. Not all oils are the same and some places rip you off; especially if they advertise to SICK People.

    Legal Rant and Info (my opinon and experiences; not web-sites)
    Do I really want to be a Medical Lab-Rat for a Corporation. Especially one that’s lobbing Congress to BE EXMPT BY LAW from getting sued when their product maims people. They already have Judges throwing out 100+ person Class-Action Suits claiming if THEIR pace-makers failed, so what, you wouldn't even be alive without a pace-maker-- a Ruling I agree with even though my Dad has one. But does Medtronic really have the right to have CONGRESS take away our rights. I don’t want them Bankrupted because experimental technology failed on people who’d be dead without that technology—but I don’t want Medtronic to be able to mass-produce crap to desperate people and be Teflon.

    (Tangent, sorry. People should know the Largest Medical Device Company in the world is seeking Exclusive Immunity instead of just relying of the Checks & Balance system that's already made them untouchable)

    Anyway, anyone heathy but suffering, I understand wanting to get back to 100%. I nearly died trying. But please don’t do an operation that’s ricky if you still have medicinal choices. You should try every medicine out there. Every therapy.

    Even, sorry to say, (sic—not a dig—I had to learn this; it’s my honest advice from a raw place. Don’t attack me as telling people to give up. Fight as hard as you can. But injoy what you can do cause it can always get worse. Not by someone else’s illness. Your situation.) So, Try every thing: even learning to cope with a Limited life. I had a wonderful, limited life for 3 years. Now I can’t even imagine life without being in constant, level 8 pain.

    But this above is unsolicited advice is from a “deleted word that hurt my feelings” home-bound wife who wants to know if this operation if going to make her even sicker? (and lived the advice she’s giving you)

    My spouse wants me to have the operation because he can’t stand seeing me wake up from an Ambien-induce sleep screaming my head that my arm is being pulled out of it’s socket. Than he has to WATCH me cry until my 13 become a 9 because my disease won’t allow ANY one to TOUCH me (it cause more pain, stroking my hair make my head feel like it’s on fire).

    But this wife wants to make sure that he doesn’t go from carrying me up and down our stairs on BAD days to every day because this Miracle PUMP leaked and made me paralyzed. (my Medtronic REP says the “bad things” almost never happen, but still “forgets” to send me stats after 2 months and 4 phone calls.


    PS: I was a professional researcher among other things and if anyone has any questions about being Scared & Left out of the Info Loop feel free to email me. I’m sick a lot, but I will get back to you. Don’t take offense if it takes a few weeks—I’m going through a Horrible Bout. (going to ER made me be able to write as I was but on steriods and Massive IV drugs that controlled muscle spasms/cramps/pain for two days. They it starts all over and as stated, I can't stay on those drugs-- too dangerous.)

    PPS: I’m trying to get off certain medication to have a Life, a baby with my Husband if the disease allows or be healthy enough to Adopt if the disease doesn’t.

    PPPS: to those who say trust your doctor—mine wouldn’t answer questions because the rep and the CD were suppose to. The CD said to “ask you doctor” and the rep won’t answer anything. That’s why I’m asking other patients. I never said THIS Webster didn’t have pictures—I said the WEB didn’t have Pictures. A nice man I met one another site sent his after his operation—but he admit he’s 6’3 and 50lbs over-weight. He even tried squeezing his stomach to show me the outline of his implant. He’s my hero. I promise If I have the surgery—any medium to extra small person will have my pictures if they want.

    Another rant on doctors (my opinion not this web-site’s)
    My doctor (and yours) gets paid $15,000 if the operation works or doesn’t. Plus, another $15,000 to remove the PUMP if I don’t like it, or just in 5+ years when battery dies. He gets $2,000-$3,000 to fill the Pump up with medicine. Excuse me if I think he attitude of “what do you have to lose” without supplying any surgical pictures or stats seems a little self-serving.

    I’ve had 2 operations for endo—one with post-op bleeding that almost needed transfusion—hospital did something to doctor, I don’t know what.
    1 operation for Breast Tumors—3 removed; yearly check-up as 20-40 in each breast (reason I’m scarred of scar tissue build-up)
    Fibromyalgia/Chronic fatigue Syndrome for 10 years. TMJ & Migraines.

    Have tried 30+ anti-depressants (not for depression; 1/3 of Fibro patients are helped. I had either no help and 3 drugs made me suicial; one within 2 hours of first dose. My husband sent over a neighbor and rushed home from work until I the pill was out of my system and I could be safetly left alone. Remember, these drugs CURE chemical imbalances. SO, if you don't have a chemical imbalance, they can cause one. Please take first dose with someone in house-- I was not warned by doctors or drug-label. I have never been suicidal before or since those medications)

    Taken drugs from MS, parkinson, Epilepsy, lupus, diabetic neuropathy all in a desperate hope it would give relief. (I'd be happy to share side-effects & experience that patients aren't warned about.)

  • I've read and re-read your posts LadyDee and my head is spinning from trying to figure out what has happened.

    I think the main issue is that you are looking for photos of what a scar would look like from inserting this pump. Is that correct? My suggestion would be to ask the surgeon who is proposing doing this procedure to set up a meeting with a couple of his patients, if they are willing, so that you can see first hand what it should look like. But keep in mind that we are all different, each of us heal up at different rates.

    Your writing style seems familiar. What was your name prior to LadyDee, if you don't mind my asking. I'd like to stay in touch with old friends.

    Good luck with your quest to find answers.

    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
  • After reading through your entire post, I am left to wonder "why". Maybe I am so different from you, that even chronic pain cannot bridge that gap. For me it got to the point where I no longer cared about being disfigured, no longer cared about the risks of surgery, and no longer cared what all the lawyers and suit happy people of the world think. I needed something to help with the pain or I was going to go insane. I thought of suicide but then decided that I couldn't risk winding up suffering for all eternity for committing that sin.

    So when I read EVERYTHING you have written, it just leaves me shaking my head from the very first few sentences you have written.

    I have a Medtronic SCS implanted. I am a skinny person and the doc was challenged to find enough tissue to bury the anchors under. I had to have a revision and more anchors added because they tore loose and started erupting through the skin. It was very uncomfortable. Some would say it was painful. I think of my daily pain levels in terms of comfort or discomfort. Otherwise I get caught up in a serious mental mind mess. If I think about pain every day and rate it on some goofball scale, then it has control over me. That's just a side note to all of this.

    Now granted the pain pump is larger than the SCS, but it's all the same when it boils down to having enough tissue to cover it and disfiguring scars and will it work or won't it work and all the risk factors add nauseum. Heck taking a stinking aspirin has more possible side effects.

    The way you "discuss" how the doctors saw your figure "enhancement" really sends up red flags to me that you are definitely heavily weighted towards how you look and how you perceive other see you. Okay, so that's just you. However to someone like me, I can easily see where other members would consider that vanity and in the world of chronic pain, wasted vanity. I can't fault them for feeling that way any more than I can fault you for the way you feel about yourself.

    I do become very uncomfortable when you write to the membership offering help with finding the right meds and the right dosages. I don't care how good of a researcher a person is or what their background, in my opinion, the only person who should be discussing that type of information is the patient and their doctor.

    Now I'm trying very hard not to be snide or to make comments that could be deemed demeaning or disrespectful. I am trying very hard to answer you. The first night that I saw your initial post, I actually went on line and searched for a while to see if I could find some photos for you. I have professional resources for most medical implants and thought I may be able to help. After reading the post that I missed, I'm kind of glad I was out of time and had to log off. I just don't want to get caught up in anymore than I already have in regards to your search.

    So bottom line, I do sincerely wish you the best of luck, but I hope you can come to grips with the fact that risk and disfigurement are just an unfortunate part of the chronic pain journey.

  • Neck of Steel said:

    Your writing style seems familiar. What was your name prior to LadyDee, if you don't mind my asking. I'd like to stay in touch with old friends.

    Cindy I agree that LadyDee's writing style is reminiscent of a former member. It would be nice to re-establish contact with old friends.

  • Thank you for the complaints on my wiriting style but I've never logged on this website before. although I am always happy to make friends and you might know me from other sites on different topics.

    "The way you "discuss" how the doctors saw your figure "enhancement" really sends up red flags to me that you are definitely heavily weighted towards how you look and how you perceive other see you.

    I understand why my mentioning my body makes me seems vain. what I'd was trying to get across was that when the doctors saw these "enhancements" NONE of them listened to me that I was getting ill. I begged them to address that I gained 30% of my body weight in 6 months-- the doctors just said "You look heathy."

    I was not excited about these enhancement after the first 5 pounds. I felt sick from the steriods, the disease, and I was scared I was developing lupus like my mother or breast cancer. I had just had benigh tumor removed about 188 motnhs eariler and was told they can alway become cancerous.

    I was terrified by these "enhansements"-- not happy. I said the doctors were happy. Not me.

    I'm a little vain about the implant but mostly scared of the extra pain discribed so elequently haglandc. I'm in pain all the time. I've forgotten what life without pain is and can't imagine I'll ever enjoy that life again. I've gotten used to that-- even made peace with it.

    But what I don't want, and I think people are too hung up on the vanity aspect because I decribed not wanting to be disgiured for NO Reason, is that I would trade looks for pain. I want the Pump Implant. That's why I'm doing research.

    My my doctor won't supply me with pictures and neigher will the company. I want to know how it fits in my body 5% because of vanity. I have a loving spouce who talks about loving my back hump.

    i don't mind scars-- i have a bunch.

    My illness in not local. It hurts everywhere. No one knows how Fibrmyalgia is caused or how it will react to this surgery. it could stop the "PAIN" and cause my legs to get so weak I trade my cane/sometimes walker for a wheelchair.

    Plus, I think the operation has dangerous side-effects for a person with 2 OTHER Diseases that causes abnormal growths that need surgery. This operation can cause Scar Tissue that Permenately damages your spine.

    I don't want to take that risk for a 30% better outcome that might not work at all because I skinny without major research

    Last, I in no way am going to prescribe some medicine. I can't legally. But I can tell them what the maxium dosage is for their body weight or what drugs they can mix them with and talk to their doctors about changing their programs.

    Most people HOLD doctors in such esteem, they live in pain rather they seek a different pain doctor who will give them different drugs. I had a doctor who would switch me from the same dosage and drug to the generic version. For 6 months besides worsening side effects she refused to give me the generic even though it was cheaper and had a chance of reducing these side effects.

    So I saw her partner. My friend so her partner, so why switch offices. I was on the generic at a lower dose with in 2 months. I was taking one pill extra because of re-bound headaches the drug caused. The generic had a slightly different compound and after much research and takling to 3 major NYC pharamacists, I was told I had a good chance of the generic NOT giving me side effects.

    I was offering people information and experience with
    1. how to talk to their doctors
    2. how to say they don't want to take a drug with bad side effects
    3. how to look up their illness and compare what other people take and ask their doctors for that.

    My experience:
    One person from my group was being given every Pain Pill under the sun, but his doctor refused muscle relaxers. I gave him printed research that in some people muscle relaxers Actually stop the pain from happening, making a patient need less Pain Medication (Opiuds)

    The doctor prescribed Soma (not me) and the person from group was able to cut down their percocet from 8 a day to 3 with 2 somas.

    I have told lots of people who were out on high doses of longlasting Oxycontin that they needed "break-thru medication" and supplied the research. They went to their doctors, no me, and got a break-thru drug. One friend went from 40mg 4 times a day to 30 mg 3 times a day and 4 percocets.

    I also offer people information of oils that help with nausea and sleep. Not dosages, just books that helped me.

    I got help from Other patients-- not doctors. if many of you on these site have the best doctors in the world, i'm jeolous. I have not.

    But to make it clear, I would be bumpy as an aligator if I could not be in pain and get of SS disability, go back to making 60k a year and have started having kids 2 years ago. But my magic lamp was out of wishes.

    So, I'm bitter about being left on an ER table while nurses and students discussed giving me a blood transplant because it would affect the doctor's record. yes, I'm bitter about ever drug in my doctor's office supplies (pens, paper, medical charts) being given to me. I thought gifting to doctors was outlawed in the 80s with Hawaii vacations. It's back.

    But please, no one call me vain. I wish I never mentioned doing dome model work. I was only trying to describe how thin I was. If that make anyone not want to give me information, then don't. but I will give anyone information who asks me. Even if they previous expressed not liking my posts.

    I will give every dirty side-effect I've had, every waking experience of being told you might be infertiles at 21 because of ENDOMETRIOS only to be told by a different doctor 3 years later, you can probably have kids, only topld by a different doctor it's 50/50.

    I'll even tell you how to cope with FM when no one believes it's a disease.


    PS: for the record: I never said I was pretty. In fact, I never thought I was. I was the only ethnic person in a small town and was bullied about my curly hair, my dark olive skin, and my non-corn-fed womanless shape until I went to college at 18.

    Then I thought all the boys asking me out just liked my writing or Other things boys and girls do on dates. It wasn't until I was I was with the guy I'm with now I thought I was semi-cute.

    A photographer said I was pretty because my teeth were too big and my eyes were too close together-- that's what modeling is. I was doing a play when a agent gave me a card and some photo shoots happened. But I didn't think "I'm gorgeous" from a photographer saying I had horse teeth or from my high school bully/cheerleaders called me the a certain ethnic slur for 4 years.

    So PLEASE, stop all the VANITY CRAP. I just want to know if this implant will cause me EXTRA PAIN and then need to be removed, leaving me with scar tissues & that extra PAIN. THAT's it!!!

    PPS: sorry about not spell checking. I've been trying to solve this mess between Morphine doses and the explaining and point-making tired me a bit. Also sorry about length, told you I could ramble when in pain. (when you write 200 pages novella, 1000 words goes by fast)
  • To everyone who has has a bad back surgery, one they now feel they didn't need or didn't help, or had complications: thank for your stories and your warnings. I have two relatives who have HAD back surgeries by the same doctor-- one regrets it and one keeps having to have them; wondering is the 1rst surgery caused the 2nd.

    I am both Moved by your pain and suffering and also want to give you guys Credit to why I am seeking pictures and infomation that my doctor won't give me & why I use your stories/information to back up what my info Doctor will give me.

    I am in pain constantly. I am a burden on my spouce. I am at the point in my life that if I don't get this pain under control, I'm not sure of my options. There is no medication for my disease and I am reaching the max for pain medication at my body weight.

    your stories: neck of steel, are a lifeline of information and of strength.

    I am so scared of making the Wrong choice like my relative. I can't regret a choice that puts me in further pain because I have no more pain to give this world.

    Thank you for letting me and Others know that doctors can be wrong and even small surgeries can have Horrible complications. My "vanity" is your warnings. I flaunt those vanities with much Pride.

    forver in your debt,
  • Sometimes the harder a member tries to explain their situation and reasoning, the more it pushes buttons for others. Been there done that and got the bloody tee shirt from it. I think this is the case here. Possibly if you had left your question to
    I just want to know if this implant will cause me EXTRA PAIN and then need to be removed, leaving me with scar tissues & that extra PAIN.
    then you may have had better luck with straightforward responses. Maybe not, but that's my guess anyway.

    Because you seem to have so much pent up anger and disgust and mistrust dripping from everything you write (now this is an observation about your writing style), it also is like a magnet and draws the same sort of feeling from others. It's just "what happens" on these types of forums. You should be used to that from the other forums you are on.

    I applaud you for trying to help others in their "battle against chronic pain", but you seem to be a bit too cavalier about it and that can be very dangerous given the fragility of many members on this site and others. Of course that's my personal opinion. Giving a person information in a certain manner is like giving them the information needed to create or use a weapon. Just because a person doesn't hand the weapon to them and show them how to pull the trigger doesn't mean that that person isn't responsible for any unfortunate disaster that may come as an indirect result of that information.

    Yes we should share our personal experiences good and bad with medications, treatments, procedures, etc... however we need to take ownership of the possible consequences. Sharing and advising are two completely different beasts and it is our personal responsibility to know where we cross that line when communicating with others.

    As far as your question about the pain of an implant. Well it's not that big of a deal and the comfort it provides is well worth the trade off. Most days I can "forget" about the implant because it has become such a part of me. Then I will start to ache from inflammation around the wires or anchors or I may have worn the wrong clothes and had too much pressure on my generator. It is all discomfort that goes away and is really no big deal.

    I'm not sure where you are going with the "complaints about your writing style" comment. I assume you are referring to my comment of reading EVERYTHING you have written. That comment was meant to assure you that I gave you the respect of reading EVERYTHING and not skimming through it due to the length. Many members will skip threads that are full of long posts. It takes a lot of time and many cannot sit for very long periods of time due to their pain issues. So I was trying to reassure you that my reply was based on having read all that you wrote and not just bits and pieces.


  • Open Letter:
    I just read haglandc medical history. I have more respect for you then you will ever know. I'm sorry you got some of your injuries on military time-- so did my dad.

    I understand your confused state at my letter. I am in great pain. I am not posing on that. And like you, I must do something or risk losing my life to pain.

    But you had injuries were surgery was Absolute choice. This is where our roads seperate. What if I do this surgery and my illness reacts badly to it-- there's no medicine. What if I can just wait and medicine gets approved in 6 months; but this surgery go sideways-- a surgery considered elective.

    Breast tumor removal may not seem like a big deal to you, but when your biopsy Doctor keeps saying how young you are and they do great "reconstruction now"-- it's devasting. I have 3 scars across my breast each about 2 inches. I had to wait until the Doctors disected each tumor to make sure I didn't have cancer. And I still have 20+ ticking bombs in each breast.

    I wonder if medication I took to treat My Endometriosis caused these tumors. (It's a side-effect they warn about NOW-- 3 years after I took the drug.

    I am terrified of making the wrong choice. I took one medication for my Fibromyalgia that has left me with Permentant Hearing Problems.

    I don't walk a straight a narror line like you do-- broken neck-- fix. I had tumor-- remove.

    This is all "elective" so the doctors get to wash their hands of it if it makes me worse. I can't get worse. I'm not that strong. I cry every time it rains. I have body art-- piercings (that's all I'll say) that I never made a peep when the needle went thru. I also have had stitches & cavities done without novacain.

    Any advice you have, I'll gladly weigh it. But please understand that because someone is doing research on "elective" surgery doesn't mean that don't want to be out of pain or they are not in it-- it just that the Medical community say we've given you infomation, not you decide? It's not easy to decide.

    But, that said, thank you for explaining what you went thru as a Skinny person. I know my story confused you and still took the time to say list all the re-attchments they had to do to make the device fit. Thank you so much for your time.

    I wish you well. And I know you believe people should rely on doctors but should you ever need YOUR own research to make a medical choice --not do the operation on yourself-- although, I think you could Rambo it pretty easily :)

    Please let me know. My father, father-in-law, and many close friends are vets. I research side-effects and also cross-check medications. Twice I've found contr-indicated medication prescribed that got past the doctors and the pharmacy-- one would have cause a heart attack, the other make blood pressure medicine 2-3x as strong.

    Also, my father can't eat grapefruit with his medication or it will hasten the dose and could kill him. My knowledge of essential oils switched his shampoo as it had grapefruit extra and a small chance of causing a toxic build-up thru his skin.

    Remember, skin's our biggest organ.

    thank you again for sharing your story. I am sorry for you suffering.

  • Haha, I think we were typing at the same time!!! I just entered my letter to you and yours beat mine to punch.

    "complaints on writing style" should have been compliments-- Neck of Steel & Cindy thought I had written under a different name.

    Sorry: my fingers are getting sloppy along with my mind. Waiting for pill to hit.

    I appreciate you reading every word and advise about keeping it shorter. thank you for letting me know about how the implant feels.

    As far as too much infomation; I only do research on what a person asks me but has trouble finding. I agree you have to take responsibility for your actions and advice, but I also feel people have a right to all the info and they can decide. i'm not talking to children; I'm talking to people like you who have lived with pain for years and seen a billions doctors but may not know their rights or have been intimidated.

    Yes, me last few letters were angry. But in general, when talking about doctors, I'm not the most jollest of people. I think there are too many laws protecting them and I know many people who've been hurt. My complaints are minor. I'm talking really damaged.

    do you know it's a felony to hit a parked car and not leave a note with your information BUT if a doctor leaves a sponge/scissors in you and you die from that-- they (doctor & hopital) don't have to tell you. Forget about suing-- they legally don't have to tell you. And it the doctor was drunk-- no crime.

    But pick any subject and you can see the lighter side of LadyDee.

    Except politics. I'm very passionate about certain things, as if everyone I guess.

    But my interest range in everything. My dad shoots guns with SASS, so I dress up like a cowboy and shoot with him on vacations. SASS if very understanding to disabled people. I prefer rifle to shotgun.

    When I'm better I want to take classes in everything from driving an 18-wheeler to cheesemaking.

    I love Harlan Ellison (now that dude's long-winded), Ogden Nash, Cary Grant, Bette Davis, and movies with old-fashion make-up special effects-- no CGI (is that right? computer generated effects).

    What about you, haglandc, what do like doing on good days? And you can PM me if we're getting off-topic or you want to get more in depth privately.

    thanks again for explaining the device. Has it lowered your pain to where you don't need other medication? I ask, because my doctors aren't optimist about me gettin 100% relief. They think 30-50% is the highest I'll get. Which would be amazing!!! I just really want a baby. I've always wanted to adopt and be a fostermom, so I'm cool with going that road. I just really want my husband's baby. I'm on medication NOW I can't be on and be Pregnate. Also, and this is another rant-- SORRY-- when I asked the Doctors what the risks of my meds were; they said there was Purposefully no stats. "the drug companies don't want the lawsuits if something goes wrong, so they don't study it so they can say they don't know."

    So, I studied every medication I was on and compared it to it's street drug equivalent. Then I studies the effects of addicts of those drugs giving birth.

    My doctor checked over my research and the medical studies I didn't understand and told me which drugs I had to be off and which ones might be okay and then I asked my husband to have my crackbaby. (before anyone emails me-- it's a joke. Morphine's the only drug proven safe to be on while pregnate. That's why I want the pump.)

    now I feel I need to make a disclaimer and say crackbabies epedimics stories were an 80s media frenzy and most babies born to addicts are quite healthy as long as they are not breastfed drugged-milk and get proper medical attention.

    "Because you seem to have so much pent up anger and disgust and mistrust dripping from everything you write (now this is an observation about your writing style), it also is like a magnet and draws the same sort of feeling from others. It's just "what happens" on these types of forums. You should be used to that from the other forums you are on."

    Actually, I’ve gotten a lot of my information from paralyzed web-sites because they have the most experience with these Implants and their forums tend to have darker senses of humor. Also, I guess I gravitate to forums that are there so you can let at your “negativity” to Others who Understand your situation since as much as family loves you—they’re not in our shoes (spit 3x times, no evil eye 3x—Jewish thing my grandma stuck me with)

    Anyway, most forums I’ve been on have long-lasting fights like in a soap. I’ve actually never ruffled so many feathers before. I really didn’t know how to react. I’m not Complaining about this forum, it has AMAZING information. I’m just answering your question honestly.

    You should check out-- if I gave you a forum that's not medical but tell you how to build your own stuff (like solar panels, hydoponic containers) is that allowed? I don't want to seem like I'm advertising a competing web-site (are they competing-- I mean we all want the same answers)? But this website is for geeks like me that have an interest in everything and not enough money for Everything. So people give you free info/ideas on how to build stuff that cost a fortune in the stores.

    I don't want to break any rules, so can someone please tell me if it's okay to mention a Hobby forum/web-site? Oh, and what the difference is between a forum and a web/site?

    Last, thank you to this forum for teaching me how to add features like color & bold, to my posts. I never knew how before you guys.

    So thank you, I've gotten both medical advice and computer skills from you guys.
  • Someday I want to meet C in person, since I've never met anyone for whom surgery was an "absolute choice" after finding themselves in these situations - and especially not the one that involved getting blown off a military aircraft. :O
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,846
    There has never been a problem posting other web sites. The key is that the web site that you are posting can not in anyway be a site that is selling a product. No solicitation is allowed on this site.

    The difference between a Forum site and a Web site.

    - They are both really web sites, pointed to by a URL.
    - Forum sites are managed by some software package that allows for the discussions and other features.
    - Other sites,such as yahoo.com, msn.com are web site that generally do not have forums

    Spine-Health is a combination of both. The Patient Forums (what you see here) is just a small part of the entire site. The other features cover conditions, treatments and much more.

    ps: Many people have said this before, that freedom of speech goes into forums. This is Untrue. Forums are owned by a company that provide a function at no cost to the member. There are rules and boundaries that every member must adhere to. People may say something, but depending on what is said they run the risk of being reprimanded, just like in any other life situation.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • he had an acostic neroma pressing against his ear nerve. he was alread 50% dead when it was found, lost some blaance but compansated as it was slow growth tumor, and was going to start to become more and more paralized in his face until he was disfigured like a stroke victim's, fully deaf in the one ear, and then slowly, a vegatible or dead.

    He had to choose between saving some hearing or risk paralyzing his face. He was told Plastic surgery could fix his face over 5-20 operations BUT he was going to lose hearing within 5 years no matter what.

    The longer he waited, the bigger the tumor grew, the more damage both the tumor and removing the tumor
    would cause.

    Someday I want to meet C in person, since I've never met anyone for whom surgery was an "absolute choice"

    Hubby went home to say good-bye to mother dying of cancer-- never told her of surgery. Had nerve to ear drum severed, no hearing aid would help. Only cochular implant.

    about 3 days ICU, 4 in hospital, went home of 7-8 days, when piece of fat to close hole in skull blew, causing mengitisis headache I talk about witnessing. Rushed him to hopital, 3 days in ICU, 5-7 in regular brain surgery recovery ward.

    Operation, according to husband, was "absolute choice" or as he puts it "no choice" and very easy to decide whether to risk paralizing his face or save hearing in a dying nerve that was going to be gone within 5 years. He's a professional singer-- toured Europe & also an actor. He was worried if he could sing with one ear and has auditions where he cannot hear Piano if he doesn't turn to face it.

    send email and you can talk to him anytime you want.
  • There's always a choice.

    As you pointed out, your husband had a choice: "whether to risk paralizing his face or save hearing in a dying nerve that was going to be gone within 5 years."

    I don't know that you're going to find a lot of support if you continue to elevate yourself above the rest of the pain-disordered world by minimizing the uncertainty of others' choices, classifying their choices as "absolute" and without doubt, or pretending like the rest of us haven't faced all the same "what if" questions for every procedure, medication trial, and surgical intervention.

    Just sayin'...

  • I'm not above anyone. It's a great tag, but it's old. I said my hudband didn't have choice because he was going to DIE. he had a choice what part of him he wanted destroyed, barely.

    I didn't want my POST to be to long, but I had originally mentioned my Breast surgery was NOT a choice. You may want to play word games, but when a doctor tells you 3 lumps in your body are 50% ticking cancer bombs-- you removed them. Quickly. No choice. No vanity as Breast has 3 large scars ALL in different places.

    I talked to haglandc all night -- it was fun. I think it's awful what he went thru. I think he's a hero. I don't think that about myself. I don't put my pain above anyone's.

    I think some surgeries are easy to.. this is stupid, I'm being baited. Whatever I say: I'm vain, don't care about others' pain, blah.

    anyone who liked talking to me can reach me.
    thank you haglandc for all your advice. You and cindy are awesome. Maybe you guys know my writing from a Play, poetry, some other forum. it'll be fun to figure out.

Sign In or Register to comment.