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pain, depression and crying

edited 06/11/2012 - 8:33 AM in Depression and Coping
How does a person cope with severe pain day in and day out? My co workers think I am crazy because sometimes they walk by my office and I am crying again! I wish that they could feel what we feel just for a few minutes and then maybe they would understand..I have fought this till I just dont know how many more days I can drag, and then i read others storys on here and it is amazing how many others are like me and worse.. I wonder what happened to the person I used to be? And how many more years of this is to come ..And doctors they dont want to listen, they dont care..My family doctor is the only one that will listen to me bless his heart..


  • Chronic pain is a very difficult thing to handle and come to terms with. Everyone handles it differently, but when you realize that you've lost the old you, you go through the grieving process.

    Somehow, you have to learn to deal with the new you and the pain you're in. PapaRon has a great post dealing with "The Blend", addressing finding the right combination of things to make managing chronic pain bearable. I've posted the link below. In addition to what he mentions there, finding the right doctor (be it a surgeon, PCP or PM) is key to managing your pain.


    Take care.
  • Yes it is hard to lose yourself and this hurting thing we carry around with us feels like a little monster! I try to stay positive and joke but its hard..I will go and check out the link thanks
  • I hear what you are saying I spent two years in a Job that cared very little about what I was going through. It was the worse experience to go through. I wanted to quit so bad, but at the same time If I did I would loose insurance and I needed it for back care. Even though the Job itself was making my back injury worse by the day due to the physical duties of the job and the stress it put on me. I dont know really what to say, I would really sit down evaluate and weigh your options. Other Jobs, Family to help out, If you are on your own Maybe move back home. I did, I lost my condo,ended up bankrupt, house forclosed on and the stress of everything put me into the hospital with severe bleeding ulcers, and then a Ruptured Esophagus. You need to take care of yourself, I just cant help it, but you have to get rid of stress, it will end up like a snow ball effect getting bigger and bigger. Remember take care of yourself, because unfortunatly no one else will. I hope it goes well, Good Luck
  • I know what your saying is true and its already like a snowball affect and it is gettig bigger than I can handle..I gave up my horse and that was a painful loss I couldnt take care of her anymore and she meant the wrld to me(I love animals), now I stand to lose home,car etc..My job is fairly easy I work at a desk but sitting really hurts so I walk alot but if I give it up my insurance will go to so I am kinda stuck.. Sounds like you have been through alot to..Are you still in bad pain?
  • long time no talk...just kidding you have to grin now and then...
    regarding sitting. i cant sit either for any length of time. have you tried those back chairs that put you in a kneeling position. also sitting on the edge of a chair so your legs aren't too much on the chair helps me. i use several chairs changing frequently so im not always in the same position.
    are you on any pain meds. if so which ones
  • I really don't know how I've been coping with pain everyday. Thinking back to the last year and a half I cannot recall a day in which I had NO pain. @)

    I've been off work for a month now and just can't understand how I managed before. I worked a physically demanding job, three nights a week, twelve hour shifts. When I wasn't working I was laying on the sofa with my leg propped up. All of my family live out of state and I refused to visit because I knew that sitting in an airline seat would really do me in. And I didn't want them visiting me because it would disrupt my routine of laying around trying to recharge for yet another week of hard work.

    For the last year and a half my life has consisted of work, rest, doctor appointments...work, rest, doctor appointments.

    I'm so thankful that I finally found a primary care doc who pointed me in the right direction and connected me with docs that could help me. =D>

    It's only been two weeks since my surgery but I'm looking forward to reclaiming my life!

    Lately the only thing I cry about is finally putting my cat "asleep" last week. She was 17yrs old, diabetic, had arthritis pretty bad, walked with a limp (like me) and most likely also had horrible nerve pain too. I checked her blood sugar and gave her insulin injections 2x a day. Poor thing, I should've let her go months ago. It wasn't until a week after my surgery until I realized that I just couldn't physically take care of her. :''(

    I can't wait to start exercising again! That always helped ease my pain and brighten my mood.

    Sorry don't know what to tell ya. Maybe try to keep your mood up, spirits up, and engage in activities to take your mind off the pain. A hard thing to do... I know.
  • Unfortunately when we have long term chronic pain there is no choice but to deal with it. There are many ways to do this and each person is different. I, like many others here, fell into a very angry type of depression and finally, with the help of medication, an awesome therapist and, of course, the wonderful support I have on this site, am finding my way out of that vicious cycle way of life. Sure, I still hurt like hell every day but my attitude about it HAD to change.

    You have an amazing support system here, people who really understand and will listen and give advise of experience. There isn't a doctor around that can do for you what Spine-Health can for your everyday life. We can't take away your pain but we can help you cope with it and sometimes even make you laugh.

    Just don't forget that you are the single most important person in your recovery. If you don't advocate strongly for yourself no one else will.

    All my best to you,
  • is sick of the constant pain as well,sometimes i ok but then next thing i know im crying........
  • Sadly, many of us have given up the thing we used to do, relationships, and possessions because of our chronic pain. Thankfully we do have the ability to adapt to new situations and can learn to make do. It's not easy, not one bit but we have to do what we need to in order to get by. I'm sorry to hear what you are going through and that you have to deal with insensitive coworkers. If the tables were turned, they wouldn't last a minute in our shoes. Nobody truly understands unless it happens to them.

    I wish there was something I could say to make things better for you. All I can do is tell you that I understand and sympathize because I'm going through similar problems too. You have our support and you also never have to face this chronic pain and loss all by yourself anymore. Hang in there and take care >:D<
  • Nobody has those words we want to hear as to when this may be all over and here we have examples of the impact of chronic pain and how it changes our life forever, learning to look forward and find the new you take time energy and resources, this condition does not come with a hand book of incremental improvement, every page will be a fresh challenge.

    As that list of associated things we cannot do gets bigger it is understandable that we more that loss of who we have become, this condition will make you stronger more resilient and we all need to target our limited capacity to the array of the future. Glancing back is one thing, walking backwards into the future another, some of the thing we could do we may never do again, that is living the reality of this imposed change, from now on we will make our future good and bad, we are make mistake and have failures and reaching that optimum performance in all here on this site, honed every day by us all, you have to find what works for you and go with that, do not open that door of history and let the flood of regret taint your road ahead, this is not easy for you, me or anyone.

    If you have a good doctor focus on him and work collectively towards what you can do, you are in pain as we all are and have to take that responsibility, hope wish and magic cures are static processes, we all need just to do it and be kind in this transitional stage and acceptance is difficult for anyone through change.

    Have a good cry get it out, get the support you deserve, we all become depressed it is part of chronic pain and perhaps over time we cry on the inside, if you can cope with pain everyday nothing is impossible, just belief that you can.

    Take care, we only manage those symptoms as time goes by, they never disappear for some.

  • What happened with your ESI that you were having the other day?

    Did you have it and if so did you get any pain relief?

    You said that you were scared and I presume that you were OK.?

    John B
  • Hi I had my esi yesterday, it went great he did not hurt me at all not what I expected, later yesterday I hurt pretty bad.Today I have been good took a pain pill this morning and no pain.Thanks for all the support.
  • I have had chronic pain for seven years. My husband
    and I were talking and he said, "Your life kinda
    ended seven years ago." What he said was true. It did
    end. I like TV and my chair. Funny thing is that no
    one can tell I'm in pain. My limp is slight and it
    just doesn't show. I guess I'm lucky.
    I just got through posting my daughter and telling her
    how much pain I'm in. My post was almost like I was
    blaming her. Gosh, I wish wish wish I could get that
    post back.
    Hey guys, don't put your pain in writing. It will change the attitude of your friends. Suddenly they
    will see you as a different person.
    Just smile. share here. And keep on.
    Pamela Neckpain
  • I do understand - I get the feeling no one really understands unless they have been through chronic pain. I'm glad you got some relief from your ESI. I treasure those respites of relief. I started to cry just a little in the grocery store tonight (my first trip in 3 weeks), had trouble lifting some water - really held back, by the time I got to my car I was just a fountain. Cried for two straight hours, called a relative for support (another mistake), now I feel worse. Took my meds - nothing. I had business calls I should have made tonight too, but I didn't want to talk to anyone because tonight I don't want to answer "how are you doing" with tears. I agree with pamela neckpain. No one except someone who has been through chronic pain will ever understand what's up with the tears - they assume depression when you cry. No, its not depression, to me its a physiological response just like my blood pressure goes up with pain!! But I do try to hide it has much as possible. And laughter is good, but its not a cure. Its amazing how if you are happy about something or you laugh its assumed you're not in pain. Can't I appreciate good things or a joke despite chronic pain?
    I called someone last night for prayers - they actually told me there must be a reason God isn't healing me like an unconfessed sin or God is punishing me for worrying- trust me with this body that can barely walk on most days there isn't any sinning going on; needless to say I won't be calling them anymore.I don't plan on telling anyone else about my ordeals; some days I want to wear a T-shirt "just don't ask me how I am" because I'm not a good liar. Back to my spiney buddies here!
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