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sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:33 AM in Depression and Coping
That's what I feel like today....and most days. This continuing, daily, everlasting ___ety, ___, ___ stuff stinks. Now, glad I got that off my chest. Now I feel better...not! :''( ~X( X( :(


  • That stinks! I hope you are able to climb out of the crap pile today and get some clear air for a bit. If nothing else, I hope you feel better after a little while.

  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    Thanks. I've just been sitting here thinking about how I'm dwelling on the bad stuff when I have so very many things in my life to be thankful for. You know, I forget that sometimes.

  • We all forget about that from time to time. The cool part is that we have the capability of doing mental laundry and starting with fresh clothes just about any time we want.

    I find that when I have some quiet time to myself it is very uplifting to go through a mental review of what I can be grateful for. Even the little things add up to enough for a nice little uplift.

    We can't experience the good times if we haven't been through the bad times first.

    Hope your day gets better.

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,856
    chronic pain. Some days you are doing so-so, in pain but handling everything. Then there are those times when everything looks some dark. You're hurting more, your anxious, your depressed, your mad, you have hundreds of different emotions bombarding you at once.
    Add that to your physical pain and its no wonder why we many times refer to Chronic pain as the Beast

    I also know that you realize that logging in here offers so much. You can make posts, You help other members. And at times we all need to vent a little bit. In so many ways we are a big family here. We share common bonds, we understand pain and what that really means.

    Lets just hope that this current dark period is over soon and the sun starts shining more for you.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    Thanks for being so understanding. Now I'm going out into my garden and do some 'mental weeding'.

    Thanks again.

    I hope you have a great day.

  • Hi Sunny...

    I say I knew how you feel (as apposed to know how you feel) because I have been there. I posted a topic called I feel like crap today. I know the pain and frustration that you feel. Hopefully with time it will go away. I can only speak for myself but I think I was focusing on my problems (the oh whoa is me complex) and not focusing on all of the good things in my life. Time, healing, and some good anti anxiety/anti depressents have really helped. I'll keep good thoughts flowing your way in hopes that your life turns more Sunny (pun intended).

  • for all of us. I guess I don't have the ability to see it right now either.

    I keep looking, but between the weather and my avatars current sleeping pattern it is hard to see the sunshine.

    let's hope we get some warm sunny days and little mental vacation :D

    think happy thought, think happy thoughts.
  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    Thanks for the good thoughts. I'm glad that you're doing better now. I'm just having a moody day. I get depressed one minute and mad the next. It could always be worse.

  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    I hope that you soon get to feeling better also. I want to give you encouraging words to make you feel better but I've been feeling like a hypocrite today. I don't take my own advice. I feel like a fraud. Sorry, maybe later when the sun comes out we'll talk and both feel better. Okay?

    (Thinking happy thoughts, thinking happy thoughts)
  • Indeed, i know exactly how you feel, I try to help others all the while drowning in my own misery.

    I'd suggest we throw each other life rafts, but suspect they would sink....

    Surely we will find the sun.
  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    :) you're probably right! Thanks, that's the first time I've smiled today. See, it's looking up already? We may be up the creek but at least we have one paddle??
  • It's so good to hear you're back in your garden. I used to garden before and I loved the way it took my mind off the stress.

    I understand how you feel when going through crappy days and nothing looks good. I'd hear "stop being so hard on yourself and so negative" and I would reply " I don't have nothing to smile about". Then I realize that I have to turn things around and adjust my thinking. The times where we do feel "so, so" is like living on borrowed time for me. I try to do something I normally couldn't do because of the pain. It would really make me feel like I accomplished something- it could be something little like cleaning the kitchen or folding laundry. I feel much better and not so useless. I don't care if I pay for it later on....I DID something today.

    Many times we forget to pat ourselves on our backs. Hell, we deserve to because nothing comes easy anymore esp with chronic pain. Little things can give us a big sense of accomplishment. Even if you're having a crappy day and can't do anything, when you participate in these forums, you ARE doing something meaningful by lending support to a fellow spiney and that's always appreciated.

    Anyway, feel free to vent whenever you want; we're always here for you and I know better days will come. Take care
  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    Thanks. My garden has always been my 'therapy'. The problem is that now when I go out I see too many things that should've been done but haven't yet. Then it makes me feel bad and also mad at myself. I do all I can (more than I should a lot of times) but it's still not what I used too. You said you liked to garden before, can you not get out now? I hope you can. Just getting out in the sunshine helps improve my mood sometimes. Somedays nothing works. I'm sure you understand and I'm thankful for all of you here that do. Hope you're doing well today.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,856
    In some ways, I was lucky that I had my first spinal surgery really before I started getting into Lawns and Gardens. Having the surgery sort of put me in semi-mode when working outside. My biggest problem was that even though my body said semi-mode, my mind say full-mode, which got me into so many flare ups over the years.
    But now 30+ years later the lawn and garden is my paradise. I love taking care of my lawn, feeding it, cutting it, etc.
    But my biggest love comes with the shrubs, plants and herbs.
    I've cut back a bit on heavy duty shrub work, but plants and herbs are at the top. 95% of all of our herbs are in containers. That was my wife's great idea when I was really hurting. This way I dont have to get on my knees to do some work. Since we both love to cook, nothing better than have at least 25 different herbs growing outside.
    But you know what really gets my ticker ticking!.
    Its when my hands can get into the dirt, throw off the gloves and let all the dirt just mesh all over.
    During the summer, I may resemble what some of you might remember from the Peanuts cartoon - PigPen, that is me!

    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    =)) Me too Ron! I love working, digging in the dirt. I usually have rough, dirty looking hands even though they're clean. They're usually stained from pulling weeds. I simply love it. That's why when I can't do as much it makes me mad at myself. I'll never give it up though as long as I can even get out there. I may just have to find different ways to do it! Guess you can tell I'm feeling more optomistic today. Thanks to all of you.

    Hope your day is great!

  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    I feel so much better today even though my pain is the same. My mood is much improved. I was out of tramadol Wed. and yesterday and wonder if that made matters worse? Kind of like withdrawals?
    Just thought I'd let you know that the sun is shining for me today even though it's raining outside! I hope I'm not jinxing myself by saying this! Hope all of you are in good moods today and that your pain is tolerable at least!

    Thanks for getting me through another bad day.
  • Is reported to have an ssri effect so yes, I would suspect that may have had an influence on your mood!

    Glad to see you are feeling better. I have been doing an hour a day on one of my projects, even if half of the time is spent staring at it in misery. It is slowly advancing though! slowly!

    Weather here has been flip flopping, temps are all over the place with rain moving in. I suspect I will have a bit of trouble getting my hour in tonight :(

    At least it is Friday! My last full weekend of till the 15th, then I get to go to the beach! yay!
  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    Hey! That's good. Any progress is good progress. I hope that you're feeling better today and that the rain doesn't bring you down. Hope you have a great weekend. It'll be time for your vacation before you know it...I'm jealous.
    Hope you feel up to working on your project tonight.

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