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Because Everyone In Canada Lives In An Igloo...

snookiessnookie Posts: 359
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:33 AM in Lighten and Brighten

Because Everyone In Canada Lives In An Igloo...

Now that Vancouver will host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from
all over the world are asking about Canada. Believe it or not the following questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke, but the questions were really asked! The country that the question was from is in brackets.

Snappy answers to stupid questions

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: What, did your last slave die?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North .. oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary . Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do .

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is .. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir play Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs ...

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )

A: Only at Thanksgiving .

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.



  • From the uptight country south of the Igloo...This is outrageously funny.
  • Thanks for the giggles!!

    Unfortunately, I live in an area of Canada that stays cold enough for igloos six months of the year.... :laugh:

  • ...you do live in an igloo then Tracy? hehehe, just kidding!
    Keep positive!


    ...an old timer here and ex-moderator

  • And in July - we just look for a river and go down-stream ski-ing. It only thaws out out for a few days - around June 23- when we have the longest sunny days, then it freezes back up again!

  • I live in Canada,Calgary in fact(where apparently,we have the Vienna Boys Choir and Hippo Races on a Tuesday night and you have to attend naked,hehe). :))(
    I am still wiping the Tears away from laughing so hard.That was soo funny!!!I can't believe people would actually ask Questions like that,but I guess some People think,Canada is still Centuries behind Times in a lot of Things.
  • you're not at the stampede...J/K I live in Toronto and it's southern Ontario so we are a 1-1/2 drive from Buffalo and they seem to get the worst of the snow before it comes over the lake to us. But really funny what Americans think when most of the upper states are higher than where I live in Canada. Very funny Snookie you gotta laugh.. Have a great day everyone. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
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