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i think i need to go to the er

Amanda S YanisAAmanda S Yanis Posts: 124
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:34 AM in Lower Back Pain
i just started having arm pain a couple hours ago and don't know if i should go to the er or not. i've taken all my normal meds today, lortab and neurontin, and its not helping. i cant close my hand, or pick anything up. the pain is shooting from my neck to my fingers. it kind of feels like all the blood has rushed out of my arm and not returned. my neck is now starting to become a little stiff and hurts to turn it.of course dh thinks i'm overreacting and being a baby. i just feel like crying because the pain from everything, including my back and leg, is the worst i've ever had. pleasr help?


  • in the least call your neuro. He/she may be able to offer you some comfort or advise on what may be going on. Otherwise go to the ER. Who cares if your hubby thinks your being a baby. No one knows what you are going through except for you. Take care of yourself.
    I will say a prayer for you.
  • You are the only one who knows how much pain you are in. Like Paul said, if you think you need to go to the ER, go. Don't ask our opinions about going to the ER, if you think you need to go, go.

    Please post an update when they figure out what's going on or when you get some relief.
  • i don't havve a appt with my new nuero until the middle of august.so calling them will prob. not help. dh is really mad at me right now. i'm just going to try to goo to bed and hope i'm better tomorrow. thanks everyone
  • Well, if you aren't better you can always call an ambulance if you have no other ride. Sometimes spouses don't understand because there is no blood squirting out or no bone poking out.
  • i see youre on line so i guess you didnt go to er
    i remember chatting with you regarding the lower spine. this is neck related so i assume its new...best you get to er because it is so severe.pete
  • If your meds are not controling thiings, and your feeling like this is too much, follow your instinct and go to ER.

    Show your DH this post if it might help.

    I do trust that your feeling a little better?
  • You need to take care of your health. If you are in that much pain and think you need to go to the ER then you need to go. If your husband won't take you, call an ambulance. I've expressed my opinion about that situation in other posts.

    You know how much pain you are in and nobody else can say you are not in that amount of pain. Go and take care of yourself.
  • If you are having arm issues I think you need to go to the ER immediately. The lumbar spine doesn't effect the arms. Whatever the level of injury on the spine it is there and below. So you have something else going on. Not sure which arm it is but if it is the left that can be signs of a heart attack. If the pain is bad enough that you came on here and wrote about going to the ER. Never sit around waiting for someone to respond. If I was in pain so bad, I thought i was of in need of emergent care, I wouldn't sit around a messenger board waiting for someone to reply to me. Since this post is in low back and you are referring to your arm and they are unrelated, I would go now to the ER.
  • sorry i posted in lower back forum, i really was thinking this was all related. the reason i question going is because i have four young kids, and us all going to the er is out of the question, especially with my 5 year old being autistic. i usually have to call a friend to take me so dh can stay home.

    my pain is slightly better now. i took another lortab after my first post.

    i realize it seems like i don't take care of myself, but i do try. my kids still have to come first though.

    thanks very much for all the replies and good thoughts.
  • Pain that is bad enough to drive me to go to the ER, would keep me from being able to sit and look at my computer, let alone trying to type.

    When in doubt, check it out.

  • Remember that if you don't take care of yourself first, your children might not have a mother to take care of them. Remember, on an airplane flight that you're told to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, before your children. THAT'S FOR A REASON!!!

  • ER is that a way =======>
  • Believe me, I understand that our children are important to all of us and come first. However, like some of the others have said, you need to take care of yourself so you can take care of them. If you are in horrible pain and considering a trip to the ER, you probably can't care for them anyways.

    I have 2 young kids (6 and 4 yrs old). If I needed to go to the ER, I know that my friends would be there for me in a second. They would either stay at the house with my kids, take them to their home, or drive me in a heart beat. Honestly, if the pain is bad enough, call an ambulance. You can be on the way to medical care while your husband cares for the children, takes them to somebody's house, or waits for somebody to arrive at your house.

    Real friends understand emergencies and love you so much that they will be there any time. My husband would never tell me that I'm being whiney or can't be hurting as badly as I say; he can see it in my face, movements, and actions.

    Hope you are feeling better.
  • Totally disregard your husband's selfish and neanderthal behavior and go get checked out. He is a big boy so he can watch the children. Put your foot down (on his a## preferably) and remind him to be a man and to have consideration towards you, and to stop being a self centered goat. You need help even if the Lortab helped out for a bit. Pain meds don't fix the problem so this means you need to see a doctor before things get worse. I hope they figure out what is wrong and that you get relief from your pain. Take care
  • I just want to clarify for everyone that keeps telling me to take care of myself. I am under a doctors care right now. I'm just awaiting an appt. with my new neurosurgeon. I'm doing all that I can do for my back right now. I honestly thought the arm thing would be related to my lower back because I had told my old Neuro that sometimes my neck and arm hurt, and he said it was from the nerves being touched. Anyways the arm pain is gone now. I never even should have thought about going to the ER, I was just having a bad day I guess.

    I also don't want to make it look like my husband is just an A$$. He wants me to take care of myself, he just gets tired of me complaining all the time. He works 8 hours a day then comes home to a messier house, with me laying in bed, and then usually a ordered dinner because I don't feel like cooking. And honestly I think that bothers me more than it does him. I don't know, I'm just such a mess anymore.

    But anyways, I want to thank everyone for their replies. I really appreciate all the advice I've gotten.
  • sunny1966ssunny1966 VIRGINIAPosts: 1,385
    I think that my husband doesn't understand or care. I always worry that he gets tired of me complaining and mad at me for not doing as much as I did before all this stuff. I think he expects too much from me.
    I sat down and thought this out the other day and I feel like maybe I've been wrongfully accusing him of some things because it is me who feels like I don't do enough and I feel guilty about complaining. He's never said any of those things. I'm just afraid he thinks it. Lord knows, I don't really know what he thinks! lol Maybe they care and understand more than we think? This is just what I've been thinking about lately.
    Hope you feel much better today.

  • Sunny1966 and Amanda- i see myself in both of your post. My husband is a great great man- but all too often I feel that he thinks I should just suck it up and deal with the pain. Someone who has never had back pain cant truly know what we go through. I make my best effort daily to clean, fix myself and have dinner- it does make me feel better- I often think too that my husband doesn't think Im in as much pain as I feel. I am only 37 and feel "broke"
    So I know what you mean in regards to what we think our husbands may think but never really hear them say.

    Good luck!!~
  • Amanda, and anyone else who thinks their spouse or anybody in their life feels that they should just be quiet, suck it up, and do more: My suggestion is to sit down (or lay down) and talk to them. Have a very open and honest discussion. Ask them how they feel about everything you are going through. They might think what you suspect or they might say they don't feel that way and wish they could do something to help you. Also, let them know exactly how you feel about what you are going through. Not being able to do as much as you think you should, how the pain affects you and your mood, etc.

    I have a wonderful husband. Without him, I don't know what I would do. I couldn't do this without him. I get annoyed sometimes because I ask him to help me or do something for me and he says he will then doesn't. He has undiagnosed ADD.

    Communication, IMO, is the most important part of any relationship. Being able to open up, express yourself, and listen to the other person is important even without the agony we live in.

    I used to work 2 P/T jobs, go to college F/T, take care of the kids, clean the house, do laundry, shop, cook, and pretty much anything else before my back had other ideas. It is so hard for me to accept that I cannot do it right now. My husband understands my frustration and reassures me (without me starting the conversation) that I still play an important role in our family. I don't always see it. But it's nice to hear that he (and our kids) will do anything they can to help me and maybe one day get better.

    Amanda--Glad you are feeling better.
  • I've gone through the same emotions and guilt about not being able to pull my weight around anymore. My husband has had to come home after a typical 10-12 hour day to cook dinner many times and oh boy do I feel terrible. His attitude is just to "git 'er done" :D Not once has he complained or resented my condition since he had back troubles in the past. He knows full well how it is and how painful and difficult it is to do anything. I do what I can when I can and he always appreciates it. Anyway, I know I jumped on your husband's case and I apologize for being harsh. When it comes to spouses mistreating their partner, esp when they are debilitated, really sets me off and my emotions overflow. I just want the best for you and I can't stand when people aren't being done right. I hope things do smooth out between the two of you and that your husband is able to fully understand and be sympathetic to your plight. Take care O:)
  • Well things hit the fan last night, and now I know how he really feels. His exact words were "I'm the one who brings in 3/4 of the money in this house and I should be able to have clothes clean for me to go to work since I'm the only one who gets dressed and goes anywhere." This was in response to him waiting until 10 pm at night to tell me that he had no clean shorts to wear.

    I actually completely lost it last night and was screaming at him. I told him that I've been there for him and stood by his side when he was "talking" to another woman last summer, and was trying to get her to "hook" up with him. I went with him to dr. appt. to get on an antidepressant to control his anger, and we even went to marriage counseling to try and fix us. I didn't leave him then, and I would think he would see that I'm in this for better or worse. I told him that he is not supporting me right now, and not even acting like he cares. I broke down the other day because my kids lost their medicaid because I forgot to get the papers in on time, I went over the limit on one credit card, and forgot to pay another. I lost it, and was having a panic attack, and he walked away, into another room to watch tv.

    He feels that since he works 8 hours a day, he should be able to come home and be the "king" of the house and do nothing. But I guess that is partially my fault because when I quit working full time a couple years ago, I told him I would take care of the house and everything. Of course that was before my back problems, and before my son was diagnosed with Autism. His mother was the perfect housewife, who cleaned and cooked and did everything, and he expects that from me.

    The laundry issue is a problem for me, because our washer and dryer is in our basement, and the stairs are so steep I can't get down them, let alone carry clothes back up them. I've put my 8 year daughter in charge of laundry this summer. I hate that, but it is the only way. Right now and at almost any given time, we have atleast 4 loads that need washed, which means it doesn't ever end, and alot of times the clothes we need cleaned are at the bottom of the pile and don't ever get washed. So I told him last night that he is a grown a$$ man and he can do his own laundry. That was probably not the best idea, and it started a huge fight.

    I actually ended up leaving last night and taking the kids with me. It was either that or call the police. I don't really want to go into details here, but I was scared for my life. I did come home last night, and he did apologize and admit he's not been taking his medicine. I came back solely for my kids. My daughters birthday party is tomorrow and that cannot be cancelled. Plus school starts next week, and I have alot to do with all four kids starting.

    I wrote him a letter last night and told him that the only reason I'm staying here is because of my son. With him being autistic he could not handle being shuffled between two households. I've not talked to him today at all, and I'm dreading him getting home from work. Although I know that he will just act like nothing happened, and since I'll be busy getting ready for DD's party, we won't really be around each other.

    So that is my update, sorry it is so long, I just needed to get this out. Please don't respond by telling me to leave him, and telling me I need to do the best for kids. I know what is best for my kids right now, and that is having a home with both parents in it.
  • DH just called me and told me his cousin was murdered this morning. They weren't real close now, but grew up together. DH is in shock. I guess this will put our problems on the back burner.
  • If you felt your life was threatened, what are you going to do when he makes that a reality? What is going to happen to the kids then? They won't have to worry about going between houses just visiting one at a funeral and one in jail. Just my take I am not going to tell you to leave your H, only you can decide that. But if someone is threatening physical violence see it all the time, how it exculpates beyond threats. Kids have a miraculous way of adjusting to changes. However loosing a parent at the hands of another is a entirely different ball game.

    If i read that right your 8 yr is doing laundry? I think you 2 as parents need to figure something out. I can understand giving them chores such as carrying the laundry and helping put it away but having them do all the laundry is over the top. The chores have to be age appropriate. Doing laundry for 6 ppl some how just doesn't sit right with me.
  • Abuse is physical, emotional, psychological, verbal or any combination. No child should witness, see or hear, violence between their parents. Studies show that children that are raised in abusive homes will continue the cycle as adults by becoming abusers or being abused.

    Living in a toxic environment is not good for ANY child. Living in fear for your safety/life is not good for you or your children.

    Love yourself as much as you do your children. One birthday party is not worth it in this setting. BTW, I know you mentioned before that you didn't want us to think your husband is all bad; guess what, he's worse than I thought. Any man that would make his wife fearful for her life is not a REAL man.

    I hope you make the right choice.
  • Please read the PM I sent you. Thanks.. >:D<
  • Sorry to hear about your husband cousin was killed so tragic. If you feel like you want to stay with your husband, plan a way of escape. Keep your papers in one wallet and ready to go including the kids health cards etc. Never go to a parent's house it's best to get to a shelter. Call the nearest ER room they have a list of shelters to accomodate you and your children. Carry your cellphone with you at all times. Try to have a seperate bank account but that's not really as necessary. One time my husband was verbally abusing me and he calmed down after the police came over and gave him a talking to. Where I live they have a city support system which offers housecleaners at a discount if you're disabled. See if your city has a program like that. When your husband starts yelling leave the room. Stand by the door where you can get out if necessary. Let's hope it gets better for you. Take care. Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
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