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will this pain ever end?

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,622
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:34 AM in Chronic Pain
Hello all,
Nothing really new going on with me this week, but wanted to say hello and say that I hope everyone is feeling okay, or if not okay then tolerable.
I have been in a lot of pain lately. My joints hurt so much, they are so stiff, sore, and swollen. Along with my back pain and nerve pain in my leg I wonder if this pain will ever get any better. I would love to wake up one day and feel good, not have any pain.
Sometimes I wonder whats wrong with me, why do I need these pain pills, its not like I have a terminal disease or something. Sometimes people look at you funny and will even say "why dont you work", and/or "you know if you just do more exercises and get moving you will feel fine".
My family (my husband and kids) dont say this to me they know and understand my conditions but my extended family does not always understand truly what its like to have chronic pain and how it affects you.
I have come to realize how depression plays a roll in chronic pain too. I use to be able to alot more than I can do, and its depressing to have lost that part of my life.
Well, thanks for listening to me basically whine... :o)
Lori
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Comments

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 10,060
    Lori, that is such a difficult question to address for someone that is online. But, yes, with the right surgery, the right recovery period, the right attitude , the right support and more are ways to give yourself the best odds in having that old pain go away and returning to your old life.

    These kind of posts always worry me the most. When someone posts that their pain levels are off the chart, cant get out of bed, depressed, etc there are ways to try to help there.

    But its the unknown question, the fear of fear itself that is the hardest to address.

    Assuming everything goes the way it should, will you be able to return 100% to your former self?
    Thats hard to say, anytime you have spinal surgery, you have to deal with some level of disability. But dont be afraid of that word, instead embrace it.
    There are many pro athletes, both male and female who had some type of spinal surgery and were able to return to the sport they loved and continue to succeed. But thats a LOT of hard and never stopping work. Something that the general population does not have to face day to day.

    But let me ask you this... What IF, the pain NEVER
    goes away, NEVER changes.... Are you prepared to deal with that?

    I dont want to sound pessimistic here, but what I want to communicate is to be prepared, whatever comes down the road. If its hard work to get yourself back on track, be ready. If its daily chronic pain, deal with it. Find a way to minimize that problem and maximize your life.

    Lori, please believe me when I say this. No matter what condition you have, what medical problems you have, overcoming them and doing what you want and are able to do is up to YOU!

    No one can take your pain away, no one could do the exercises for you, no one can take the medication you need, but what you do need is a strong supporting cast that will help you through the ups and downs.

    Remember, for every deep dark valley you may hit, there is a shining peak just around the corner.

    Ron DiLauro Veritas-Health Forums Manager
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Hi Lori, I too have to laugh at my sister, who does the same kind of thing to me when she visits. She does not see me 24/7 and see what it takes to move around. No one sees us, up 3 or 6 times through the night, walking to try to loosen the arthritis in the hips and shoulders or try to pace out enough that my mind is too tired to do anything except sleep, or wait for the meds to come online and give me some relief. My sweetheart is the only one who knows how much it hurts cause she can see me in the morning and figure out how I did last night and it hurts her.

    At times - I get a few minutes without pain and I hold onto that and savour that moment. And then keep trying to relax and loosen a spasm that locks the back up tight and wonder what I did to involke that little event.

    I will not say that it is a bad day, but I am sore and paying for a day of activity. I think all of us would wish for a "pain-free day". One would be great! A few together would be heaven!

    Hope your feeling better!

    EDIT - I have to point out that even though, today, I am not feeling all that "well". I still know that I have to get up and move and stretch, as best I can. I have to do the things I know will help me to lessen the pain. For me that is a recipee of things I have learned from years of living with the pain. Meds ar just one of probaly 10 other techniques I use each day. I know that for me it never completely goes away and it may never get any better than it is today, but if that happens, I know that I will be fine, I can get through this. For me it all comes back to remembering what has worked in the past and following through on all of those things, to see what combination of work on my behalf, unlocks a lessening of the pain for today.
  • But let me ask you this... What IF, the pain NEVER
    goes away, NEVER changes.... Are you prepared to deal with that?

    I dont want to sound pessimistic here, but what I want to communicate is to be prepared, whatever comes down the road. If its hard work to get yourself back on track, be ready. If its daily chronic pain, deal with it. Find a way to minimize that problem and maximize your life.

    Lori, please believe me when I say this. No matter what condition you have, what medical problems you have, overcoming them and doing what you want and are able to do is up to YOU!

    No one can take your pain away, no one could do the exercises for you, no one can take the medication you need, but what you do need is a strong supporting cast that will help you through the ups and downs.

    Remember, for every deep dark valley you may hit, there is a shining peak just around the corner.


    Thanks for the words.
    I am prepared to deal with chronic pain. I have been dealing with pain in some form or another for many years now. I use alot of realaxation techniques as well. These seem to help me alot. I count myself fortunate because I have a very loving and understanding spouse.

    Lori
  • O:) Sweet sister in pain,

    Feeling like a piece of roadkill everyday is no joy and it certainly reeks havoc on you mentally. Your thinking is dark because of the toll the pain is taking on your body -- don't let the pain win. Take it one day at a time -- on the days that you feel a little better, I think you'll notice your thoughts are a little lighter, your mood improves. What I'm trying to get across is that you will have better days -- I know you will and then you'll be happy you didn't let the pain drag you down to the deepest despair.

    Please know that what makes you unique is still there and you see it reflected in the love of your husband and children for you. Do not let the opinions of your extended family weigh you down more. There are people that will never understand so let them be. They haven't walked in your shoes so they aren't entitled to an opinion that counts. You are courageous and brave and good enough just as you are, right now, right at this minute.

    There are always new tomorrows and along with that is the hope for new protcols for pain management and new medications, technologies, etc.

    I sincerely wish for you a brighter day --

    Take care,

    Judy
  • The plaquenil is starting to kick in. While I can't say that I feel terrific I can say that I do feel a noticable difference. I am not as stiff during the night or in the morning when I first get up. I do still have good and bad days but I am resigned to the fact that this may always be the case. If so I am prepared to deal with that. I have gotten deeper into my relaxation techniques and that helps tremendously. My goal is less medication and more relaxation. Currently I take 30 mgs of Avinza once a day and 15 mg of Roxicodone 2 x a day. This is a reduction for me since I was on 60 mg of Avinza and 3 Roxicodone's a day. All in all I am pleased with this dosage.
    Thanks for your kind words of encouragement.
    Lori
  • Hi Lori!

    I understand how you feel. I just posted a 50 page rant about what I feel and sometimes it's so hard to just deal with the pain, the docs , the meds and all that goes with just trying to cope with that.

    When one hasn't been through what you have and say insensitive things it cuts way deeper than if you were healthy and could just dismiss it as their ignorance or judgmental pettiness.

    I have heard similar thinhs from folks who see me "better" now because I taught myself to walk, but they don't know that each step is extremely painful or as I try to joke "it only hurts when I move!"--when actually it hurts if i move or stay still- I am always in pain 24/7 like most on this forum.

    When one would like to hear some acknowledgment or validation like " you really have dealt with a lot and I am impressed with how you fight to go on" or " I'm glad you are hanging in there and continue to fight for your health" or anything positive folks tend to say things like " must be nice..." (as in to stay home and collect the big disability check) or "Some of us have to work..." (as if in a NY second you'd give up all your possessions to be healthy/yourself again) or one of my favorites : "hey how do you get on disability, I'd like to be able to stay home..." (yeah it's just one big luau!!)
    It hurts me deeply that not only is there no positive nourishment but that folks make insensitive remarks that cut deep into ones soul --especially when one has been through so much and that it's not sometimes a day to day struggle -- sometimes it's a moment to moment struggle.

    One can't make others realize how you/one suffers or the emotional, financial and personal toll being in Chronic pain takes out of you. They don't understand how you'd give anything to be your self or spend the money you send on docs and meds to take a trip or buy food or be able to go out now and then and enjoy life.

    I wish I had a husband, boyfriend,children, family member, friend that would care and be with me by my side and not see me for my disability but love me for who I was as well as who I am and appreciate my struggle & accomplishments therein vs. judge me for not being the same person or seeing me as an injury and not a person.

    I don't understand why so many can be so callous and seemingly indifferent and often wonder how they would manage if they were in my shoes and for the same token, I wouldn't wish them that knowledge, ecause it would mean they would have to know the pain and suffering.

    What I do wish, is that one day they would be enlightened simply by being pensive and reflective and that one day it would dawn on them : "Wow so and so has been dealing with this for X years and you know he/she always asks about my sick dad, or how I am coping with the loss of X, or always encourages me when I feel down, or is always helping others no matter how bad they feel..etc...

    But those folks are really rare and most likely it's an unrealistic hope -- so that leaves it up to us to realize they don't 'get it" and forgive their ignorance because the power of forgiveness has reward whereas allowing that ignorance to effect us is like letting an insidious poison injure us further.

    So Lori, when possible, focus instead on the love and support of your spouse, the simple pleasures in life, the beauty in the seasons,the love of a pet or something that makes you smile, no matter how simple etc...

    That being said-- you also have to allow the dark days, the times that the pretty words hod no meaning for you because sometimes you just have to allow yourself and feel the pain and sadness and roll with it for however long it takes. Unfortunately, that's where I am right now and while I don't like it, I need to allow it so one day I can appreciate all the blessings again. It's just very bad for me right now and harder than it's ever been before for me in these ten years of my struggle.

    But at least I know I was once capable of living the words I share with you and hope I will one day again...

    It's kind of like an emotional flare up vs a physical one...

    So don't diminish yourself by calling it whining-it's real fear and real worry and it's part of living with chronic pain.

    Right now I can't practice what I preach because I'm just going through too much but at least I am hoping that maybe someone else can find a ray of hope in my words and perhaps it can bring them some compassion and hope.

    Good Luck to you~

    Eliza-G
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