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struggling today...

MLT01MMLT01 Posts: 172
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:36 AM in Back Surgery and Neck Surgery
Hi guys, I'm struggling today more than usual...This time emotionally...I'm having an hard time dealing with this surgery for some reason..I'm not bouncing back as quick as I did with the others!! Still having very low energy and pain especially when I find myself extremely tired..

sorry for venting..It hard to find people who really understand they say they do but, they can't unless they been through what we all have been...

Maria ~

spondylolisthesis at L4-5; stenosis,
Lumbar surgeries 1999 L4-L5
Lumbar staph infection 1999-2000"
Meningitis x5 in 1999-2001
Brain shunt 2000"
Brain shunt removed 20001"
ALIF/PLIF fusion 8/5/09


  • It's okay to vent. I think most of us can relate to what you are feeling. You and I are about a week apart in the recovery process. Somedays I am amazed at how good I feel and then other times I get pretty discouraged. You said it is worse when you are tired - I understand that too. You have also been through an aweful lot of surgeries - it's not like each one has been practice for the next one - like you have been in training and it's supposed to get it easier. Try to find something positive today to enjoy. Give yourself the time you need to recuperate. Walk, drink water, and eat healthy. I've found that when I remember to do these things, I feel better. Hang in there.
  • Sorry you're feeling really down today. It's a big surgery that you've had and unfortunately it will take time to heal. I haven't had my fusion yet, so don't know how recovery feels, but sending you >:D< >:D< >:D< from Western Australia.


    XLIF L2-4 20.8.15
    ALIF L4/5 2009
    Laminectomy/discectomy L4/5 2008
  • Aw, hon. I'm so sorry you aren't feeling your bestest today; I wish there was something I could do to change that...

    On the bright side, you've only just had your surgery not 2 months ago. You know you're still in that "healing" phase, dontcha? After all you have been through, I feel confident you will get there; it will just take a while. Allow yourself time to heal. I don't think any of us are those spring chickens we once were. (OK peoples, don't take offense, please - not meant that way) Naturally our bodies don't bounce back the way they once did.

    Hang in there, Maria. And, uh - you vent all you want to. Never apologize to "us" for that. We all need a little venting space now and again.

    That's one of the reasons we're here.

    Take care and feel better soon!

  • Maria,
    Take it easy on yourself. That's a major surgery you had, and as Jeaux said as we get older we don't heal as fast.
    I keep reminding myself of this as I prepare for my ALIF in Nov.
    I had a PLIF 6 years ago and its a long, slow recovery. Take care of yourself and its OK to feel down and vent, we understand all too well.
  • I can't tell you how many times i have had a bad day ( and isn't it weird how sometimes you just can't pinpoint why it so bad?) and have had to vent. I call my mom and cry ( well sob is more like it) and she always says give yourself today, allow yourself to cry and vent, treat yourself to a lazy day, or have your hubby go out and get you a goody (mine is always jamba juice!!) and just take it easy. I usually cry some more then really just do take it easy, usually an extra pain pill if i hurt more, and just know usually tommorrow feels better.
    Hang in there, im thinking good thoughts for you.
  • Seriously though, I went thru the same thing the first few days after my diskectomy. I was one of the folks who was in a lot of pain afterwards. I just felt so down because I was in pain, in bed, sleepy, and just down right depressed. Once I felt better, it was a totally different story. I was pain free for about a month and a half. I felt great! You will get there!

    Try taking a walk in the fresh air, or even just sit outside. Put on one of your favorite comedies, read a book that you like, have a bowl of ice cream or some hot chocolate. Call an old friend you haven't talked to in a while and catch up. Shoot! You can call me (or I'll call you). Just try and find something you really enjoy to cheer yourself up.

    You just had MAJOR surgery. Your body has to have time to heal. That doesn't mean you can't find something to do that will lift your spirits.

    I am sooo sorry that you feel the way you do. I still go through it now with failed epidurals, and chronic pain. I just find things I can do to cheer me up, and it usually works. Do you have kids? Play games, or cards, or curl up on the couch with them and watch a movie.

    You can get out of this. Just tell yourself you are done. :) I know, easier said than done.

    Feel free to PM me if you like. :)

    >:D< >:D< >:D<

    Lots of hugs for you!

  • I don't know about you, but I never found that crying improved how I felt. It just tensed up the muscles that much more and made the pain worse. I guess I had read so many horror stories about fusion and took so long to make up my mind about having it, that I was fully prepared for it being the worst experience I had ever had. As a result, it didn't seem all that bad.

    Maria ~ get rid of any mental expectations you have. Maintaining a positive attitude is so important to your recovery and you know it is not a race and you can't make comparisons either, to your previous surgeries or to what others have experienced. You need to think about your progress in terms of weeks rather than days. In reality you have just had two major surgeries. And you are over the worst of it -- usually at about 3 months people start regaining strength and feeling a little more like "themselves" (but, no comparisons to others, right?)

    Of course it is important to acknowledge your feelings and this is a great place to vent as we do understand your feelings and frustrations. You are not alone.

  • Hi Everyone, thank you so much for your encouragement today!! All of you helped me out and I do feel better!

    I had a good cry along with a great big hug from my Husband.I hope all of you have wonderful days and to those who are waiting on surgery you will be in my thoughts..

    Maria ~
  • I am so feeling bad for you today, as I have been there so many times since December. I had 2 Level PLIF and my pain has not dimished and had hardware taken out in August PLIF as well. I am reooping from that and am so frustrated that I cant do the things I want. That as well as not working for 4 years and being a handicap at 49. I know exactly how you feel, and all I can say is cry and let it out. It somehow gets you ready to face the next days and weeks. You are still very early in your recovery. Give it time to heal, and rest and walk. That is the thing everyone tells me, and I know it gets old hearing it. But I do want you to know that I am there for you and keep your chin up cause brighter days are ahead for you...I have surgery OCt 26 for a rare tumor behind my eye in the bone of my eye socket. So here we go again. I see that you have been through alot, and I know with having 8 surgeries in 2 years that it takes a little longer to heal, when you have been through what you have. Take care, cry but try to find something to smile about too. Funniest home videos on TV can help me cheer up. PM me if you need a shoulder, mine is always available, and they only thing right now not hurting =)) Love, Robin
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