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Coping with the world

dmoonchildddmoonchild Posts: 383
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:37 AM in Depression and Coping
In the past few months, I have had several run ins with some very mean spirited people. What has happened to people? Or is this how the disabled have always been treated? before I became ill, I was always extra kind to the diabled, opening doors, holding elevators, getting groceries, helping in any way I could. I do not find that at all. Here is the last incident. Last week I had to pick the kids up at preschool. I went early on purpose so I could get a close parking spot and luckily got a spot right up front. Got the kids, put them in the car, and before I buckle the car seats, I have to sit down before the spasms hit. Well as I was doing this, a woman, another mother picking her kids up strted to beep her horn and started screaming to me. I stood up and she yelled to me very nasty are you leaving yet? I said no. All the while she is backing up traffic to the main high way and blocking in the other cars. Well she went on a rampage calling me a F*** C*** YES the C WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! right in front of the YMCA DAYCARE and many other obscenities. I got back in my car, locked it up and called the Front desk in the daycare. She came over to my window, banging and yelling. I couldnt believe it. I told her I had to go slow because of my back and she said well then you cant park here! Us working people have stuff to do. I was in shock. My kids were crying. Anyway I reported her to the director and she was eventually given a written warning. Big Deal! She should have been kicked out. Is this how people act now adays? Is so Im moving to the moon.


  • I am sorry for your experience. There are many people who exhibit these kinds of thoughtless behavior.

    I carry a cane, for just those occasions when someone is being a little stupid. C45
  • :))) People like that should come with a warming label stuck to their forehead! You just gave me an idea -- maybe I'll start printing some bumper stickers for spineys to use or, instead of "baby on board" -- "Brokeback driver on board." Or, "Slow Moving Driver on Board."

    Since I've dealt with being physically challenged I've thought alot about the saying "Survival of the Fittest!" Boy is that true -- it is dog eat dog out there!

    My mother's favorite phrase growing up was "God don't like ugly!" -- yes, I know the grammar is horrible, but it was a local saying. Suffice it to say what goes around comes around and that nasty driver will have her day and more. She'll have an "AHA" moment one day in the future when she'll realize how much of a witch she was to you.

    It's one thing to yell at you but to upset your children is over the top.

    Sorry this happened to you but there's no accounting for thoughtless people.

    Take care,

  • It's horrible that you had to go through that.

    The woman must be very miserable. Happy people don't act like that. I would prefer to be the one being yelled at then the one doing the yelling. It's a terrible feeling to be that out of control.

    Our world seems to be going on super speed and people reflect that. If I gain one thing from my surgery it's I have learned to slow down.

    I'd buy one of your bumper stickers Judy! I think that's a GREAT idea.
  • I wish I had been there and had enough wits about me to put her in her place...I thought the prime pickup/dropoff spots were supposed to be used by those with disabilities...

    At a daycare no less, I wonder how that womans children will turn out...

    So sad. I hope you have been able to let it go and move on. Sometimes we tend to go over other peoples problems as if they are our own.

    I want to write more but, work calls. yuck...
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,833
    Its enough that we have to deal with our medical situations, the limitations, the disabilities, etc.
    But when you add outside resources giving you a difficult time, it just makes everything seem so futile.
    I can never understand people that either try to take advantage of people who have limited abilities or make fun of them. I've seen it happened too many times.
    Unfortunately, there is not much we can do about people that think like that.
    Instead, we just have to build up another wall to protect ourselves.
    If we let those folks get to us and bring us down, it only opens the path for a long downward spiral.
    Its hard, but we have to shrug off those type of people and not let it get to us.
    Remember we are the stronger people. Any of us who can get up every day and know that there is pain waiting for us, but we still do it, thats courage.
    Remember, you are better than those mean people in terms of caring and compassion for others.
    Prop up your head and with gusto move ahead!
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • thanks everyone for the support. I now park on the other side of the building to avoid any other problems and my children also feel safer there. I quess I do need to build up my wall against these people. It hurts my feelings. I think thats my problem. I take things way to personnally.
  • What a witch. You have to feel sorry for her kids. I saw a slogan that said, "I'd gladly trade you my handicapped parking spot for my disabling chronic illness."

    Sounds like you dealt with her the right way. You're a better person than me, I would have also called the police. In the end though, you really just have to feel sorry for those kind of people. Their lives have to be so miserable to act like that.
  • What a terrible experience. Scary! She needs to learn some compassion. Unfortunately, some people have to learn compassion and patience the hard way (like I did).God bless ya!--Mazy
  • What a terrible experience. Scary! She needs to learn some compassion. Unfortunately, some people have to learn compassion and patience the hard way (like I did).God bless ya!--Mazy
  • I went on a trip to Disney World with my family and it was VERY crowded. I had to use a scooter and people were so rude. A woman walked right in front of me, cutting me off from my family. I almost hit her! Walking away she loudly said to her friend "Can you believe THOSE people?" I was completely blown away. Nice huh? I considered chasing her down on foot and beating her with my cane! But followed my family instead. Your skin will get thicker with every ignorant person you meet. So sorry this happened to you!!!

    Faith M
  • Dmoon, I simply can't believe people like that. Poor kids. It reminded me of something that happened to me a few years ago:

    I was on the way home from work in mid-December and was on a two-lane, 45-mph road near our house with very few other cars on the road. I was driving in the left lane and this pickup truck comes up behind me and starts tailgating. I ignore him so he starts honking his horn. I'm looking in the rearview mirror and getting ticked off thinking "just change lanes, you jerk", but he continues. I get sick of it so I move over to the right lane. He comes up beside me - I look at him to my left and he's leaning over his wife flipping me off and yelling obscenities. As he moves on I notice that there's a Christmas tree in the back of his truck. LOL

    Merry Friggin' Christmas to you too, buddy!

    I felt sorry for his wife - she looked so embarrassed.

    In the words of Jerry Seinfeld: "People - they're the worst."
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,833
    experience, people can be so cold.
    But I have to tell you after reading your post about chasing her down and whacking her with your cane. Boy did that get me laughing. Not to say you wanted to attack her, but in general its just something I've always pictured in my mind.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Get you a bumper stick like i have - "KEEP HONKING, I"M RELOADING".
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,833
    I had always envisioned a keyboard up front near the driver and a 36inch by 6inch LED display. This way you can enter the message you want to send to that person coming up on your rear.
    And of course there would be a few saved ones, so with a pfkey a message would be sent.

    I know they make a very simple version of this.. I believe its 3 phrases that can be put in. But I also believe the LED is so small you would have to be up over the person's bumper to read it
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • It's all about ME ME ME in this world today and that beast was really monstrous and rude to you Dmoonchild. You handled it so much better than I would, I tell you. I would have limped out of my car with cane and mace in hand. I carry mace for all the special people out there who are up to no good. Next time, don't rush. Take your sweet time. Hurry for no one, especially rude you know whats. See how they like that ;)
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,833
    you are so right...
    It is sad that today, we see so many people that

    ITS ME ME ME ME ME. Its all about me, I couldnt care less if you have a problem, I have the only problem in the world. And they let you know that over and over and over.

    or those that will never be RESPONSIBLE for their actions. Its not mine fault its the other guy!

    Sad at times we have reached this
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • The Disney story reminded me of my dad. He was a spiney, C, T, and L surgeries. He arranged for a family trip to Disneyworld and had a scooter for the whole visit. You have to understand, my dad also had a little brain damage from a brain infection, so he had a problem with impulse control. When people would cut him off or give us dirty looks for the "perks"(ha, take the perks, I'd take my dad back in exchange for the "perks"), he'd just run his scooter into them. If they made comments, he'd just cut them off or run into them. LOL, we were so embarrassed at the time, but now I understand his frustration.

    If someone yelled at him for being slow with his cane in the Walmart crosswalk, he'd just stop on purpose in front of their car then walk as slow as he could. His way of coping with dumb*sses. I love my dad so much and miss him, but memories like that make me laugh.
  • j.howiejj.howie Brentwood, Ca., USAPosts: 1,730
    Feel sorry for her children. With a role model like that. they don't stand a chance!
    Good luck, Jim
    Click my name to see my Medical history
    You get what you get, not what you deserve......I stole that from Susan (rip)
    Today is yours to embrace........ for tomorrow, who knows what might be starring you in the face!
  • This lady is picking up her young child and doing this in front of other children. What in the world is she thinking? I used to be embarrassed by my handicap sign. Not anymore. I just use it when I have a bad day, and when I can walk a little bit I do. I know how frustrating it is for me when I am hurting like crazy and cant find a spot. So I try to make sure they are available for those people when I don't need it.
    You need to get my favorite bumper sticker,,mean people make my heart sad! That will learn her!!!Don't take it to heart, just chalk it up to : if brains were gas, she wouldn't have enough gas to run a piss ants motorcycle, two laps around the inside of a Cheerio! :) :)
  • In attempting to right those understandable wrongs we have placed those other individuals in a position that they do not deserve, being authoritative takes time and practice and although we do not to be the person who is deemed as having need al the time.

    It is always a problem when our condition cannot be seen or confirmed by the viewing of another and that for us is reality. We are already living a delicate existence and it does not take much insensitivity from another or unkind word to make us feel despondent. They do not know our life or how difficult every day is, people still attempt to park in the disabled spaces as if they have some priority over someone with even viable need as my limbless son, it is as Dilauro said, for them life it just about them and nobody else, we need to view anything based from that knowledge, with total scepticism.

    Was what they did and said true, no it was not it was based on misconception they have is what being disabled should look and behave like. They have no knowledge or understanding of our condition and we should not give the word or action they say any relevance.

    I understand that this is hard to do and we must be equally strong when these times arrive unexpected as they do, even when these idiots have a visual of my disabled son they are no less generous which is an even bigger travesty, they can see his disability and still decide to do and say the wrong thing, shame on them.

    All these events are distressing and in being strong we need to filter them, and empty that mental trash from others, based on the distorted expectations they have. I was encouraged to make a plan of how to deal with these people and it is having some positive results.

    Only you can make yourself feel bad about what others say, you empower them, fight back as you do with that pain and use those skills you have to assert your needs. Being continually forceful is stressful in itself and we know and understand your plight, others when even give more information will not and probably never will, some individuals will never get it, however sincere our response or persuasion.

    Perhaps having a disability does seem funny to some and that is not the case if it happens to be you or someone you love.

    Take care, you did a good job, you did complain and it did work.

  • =D> When I first started to read your post my thought was I'm not alone! I also park close to the preschool either arriving early or a couple of minutes late to pick up my son. I have never experienced someone as irate as that, your kids had a good example of how to react unlike her poor children. I am a sensitive person, I believe in holding the doors open for people, letting them in my lane when driving, etc.,. still hard to believe such meaness exists, but it does. Someone mentioned Disney and I can relate to that, I was there in March, oh it was too crowded and I did use a scooter and experienced a lot of rude people, not the employees the tourists. I do believe in what comes around goes around... even though I don't wish chronic back pain on anyone, it seems to catch up to them in one way or another I feel sorry for someone filled with such anger. Thank goodness for people like you and the people here that can relate to our struggles and help to lift us up, wishing you a good day. Momma Z
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