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Kiss my SS

MetalneckMetalneck Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,364
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:39 AM in Neck Pain: Cervical
D good bye!! :(

For those of you who have been following my little saga. I "came clean" with my SSD Attny that in order to save my house ... and keep my two kids clothed and feed.... I had to return to work in Feb of this year. I was and still am in a I can't work and I can't not work situation.

I struggle everyday with physical and mental limitations, pain and significant dosages of pain meds ... I am a man ... yet find myself in tears from pain and work stress.

Well .... after being honest with my paralegel about working ... she informed me that they were dropping my SSD case.

Funny ... I know of people that have gotten SSD for Migraines ... or a "simple" plate in their leg. I have enough metal in my neck for a small airplane ... yet because I didn't sit around and wait, couldn't sponge off of my family, and had to provide .... I am now back to having to work, with no hope of relief via SSD.

I guess I will continue to fight the good fight and attempt to be a productive member of this messed up society.

No rest for the wicked (or the wonderful) I am not sure which of these I am.

Pray for my continued strength? I feel it weaning.


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  • All I can say is I am sorry. It seems so easy for some lazy cow that is just mental, depressed whatever to get ss and legitimate issues as yours to be dropped. What an asinine system it is. Best of luck.
  • survival of the fittest. i hope working will make you more fit. if not you may at some time have to sit on your SS.
  • its not fair that you should have to put up with this kind of thing .i have been there my self .it took 3 times to get DLA {uk version i guess}.like you i am very ill and in pain 23 /7 but i know of some that have a free car and work and there is nothing wrong with them and they are getting more than me .the 84574RD5!!.keep strong and take care
  • MetalneckMetalneck Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,364
    and encouragement!

    One of my favotite sayings is .... there is no justice ..... Just us ....

    I try to count my blessings which are many ... focus on what I do have and not on - the 10's of thousands in debt from the all surgeries, the creditors constantly calling, the fact that my house is worth less than I owe and could never sell it in this market anyway,, the unresonable demands of my employer - the travel I must do as part of the job ... the fact that I have no money yet still need to come up with it for plane tickets, car rental, and hotel rooms ... yada yada yada .... I have a great doctor that I have known for over 20 years .... he helps me monitor my med intake and helps me find the balance and almost 9 years Sans ETOH as benefit of Dr. Bob and "the program".

    Bless us all and hopes for a painfree day or at least reduced a bit?.

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  • MetalneckMetalneck Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,364
    For the tickle about sitting on my SS ... gave me a smile!! Worth alot - smiles are few and far in between. Tears I could begin to sell by the ounce .... but then there is no market here as we all have our unfair share of those.

    Thanks again,

    Spine-health Moderator
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  • i have been sitting on my SS for years. maybe thats why its numb. doc says nerve damage. :-C
  • how is it fair that you try as hard as you can to support your family and survive from one day to the next and get penalized for it.What a bunch of bullshit that is. What a great system that is.I really hope that worker gets whats coming to him/her.Metalneck keep fighting,you have incredible strength and i know you can rise to the occassion.
  • supposed to survive while waiting and jumping through hoops while they make a decision? Oh yeah, that's right, you just go out to your yard and pick the money off the trees. My heart goes out to you and the situation you're in.
  • =D> =D> =D> Its not a laughing situation but boy are you right.
  • I am so sorry about your situation. The entire system is designed to make a person do exactly what you did...that is why they take months/years to make a decision and the application process so difficult. To starve applicants out, force people back to work because they have to provide food and shelter for their family, most of us don't have enough savings to last more than a month or 2. Then they can deny the application because you worked, therefor you aren't disabled...it is B.S. and the entire system should be changed!
    People think that attorneys that handle SSI cases are better than attorneys that handle other types of injury cases because they only get paid if you win and there is a cap on the fees they can charge. That is true in theory, just be sure to read the fine print in any contract with an attorney on a SSI case!
    Our attorney failed to send the last 2 years medical records to the judge before the teleconference appeal hearing we had waited over 2 years for. The judge denied the appeal because in his opinion "if the pain were as bad as the claimant states, medical treatment would have been sought more recently than 2007." Now, due to a blurb in the fine print, our attorney can increase his fee percentage A LOT because he has to file an appeal... why would he even TRY to win the first time around if he can sabotage it the first time then do it right the second time and make a pile more money?!?!
    They are almost all the same, they make a living off of other people misfortune and suffering. (I had to say almost and leave room for hope that there are some good ones out there!)
    I really hope that something happens to get you the help you need!
    Joannie B.
  • I would be having a chat with that lawyer about malpractice. If they screwed up then they have to make it right at their cost.

    Nice but firm.
  • I haven't been following your circumstance because I've not been here for months - but you wrote enough to make me absolutely furious (once again) with "the system". I grope for possible answers or solutions to "fix" America. It must start somewhere... collectively...I'm just not the person to do it. (But I ask myself, "Why not?".)

    We give our government(s) 30% and our churches 10% which leaves us with 60% that as much as 7% will be taken in sales taxes...then comes the property tax, blah, etc. Yet when WE need help with just basic survival - we get NOTHING.

    When we DO get SOMETHING, we are considered lazy and useless....by even the doctors whom we depend upon.

    It is EXTREMELY true that you CANNOT be working in any way, shape or form...and receive SSDI. The system is setup (in my opinion) to wait long enough for suicides. (In my opinion) if they are going to continue to judge us & push us over the edge - like you are being pushed - then they need to offer "Assisted Suicide" for those of us who choose it. No, this isn't "my attitude" - it is "reality". It is difficult enough to live day in and day out with untractable (sp) pain - which makes it *almost* impossible to simply fill out the paperwork, do the ppwk running, show up for appts, etc. for SSDI.

    I am SO SORRY that your children are young enough that they're still your dependents. I thank everyone's god that mine were grown before my issues became disabling.

    Can you rent a room to someone via Craig's List (or something like it)? Can you move in with someone and rent out your house until you win your SSDI case? If you're a church member, could you bring your need before the church and ask if someone will take you and family in - until you win your case with SSDI? (You could promise a % of SSDI back pay to them in return.) (We did this w/grandpa - it worked.) Is your prognosis good enough that you can drop the ball with SSDI like this and (truly) expect to work long term or long enough to raise your family? <<---That's a stupid question because one can't *think* long term when the need is immediate. Is there some way that your employer would work WITH you and either FIRE you or LAY you off - so you can receive unemployment??? Have you reviewed the latest info on programs to keep homes from being foreclosed?

    ((You)) are one of the very few people on this forum who have stuck out of the crowd for me with the way you support and advise and help here. (Perhaps I've just not been on this forum enough to absorb ALL of the good people here.) Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. It humbles me enough to appreciate what I HAVE...instead of what I DON'T. "Wishing" never got me anywhere...but I wish you the very best.


  • Hello,

    I have been reading your posts, I really hope you can get approved this time, it really sucks how they treat people with injuries. I had two neck surgeries in the past year and I am waiting to see what is going to happen to now, the doctor said I a 50% chance I am done working and right now the way I feel it looks like 100% chance. I did start to open my SSD app. on line and will finished it maybe in April if he tells me I am done working. I am lucky that I have long term disability with my job that will pay me 60% of my pay until I am 66 (I just turned 60) and when ever I get approved by SSD I will have to give back the difference in my back pay. I worry most about my insurance which my cobra will end in another 15 months.
    But I getting way ahead of what's going on today, today I have to just wait and pray I will get better.

    Good luck,

  • YOu know what they say - when fate closes a door God opens a window...

    I know how hard it is to have faith and be patient as everything you were raised to believe is important is threatened. Seven years ago my husband suffered a severe shoulder injury at work. Coppled with depression and 10 months out of work he was a mess. I was a mess and our kids paided a huge price. He went back to work in severe pain when they cut off his benefits. I went to work more hours.

    We have been maxed out on credit several times since then. Used small settlements to pay off credit cards only to go back up again. I owe more on my home now than when I bought it 20 years ago. It was supposed to be paid off 5 years ago so we could put money aside for kids college.

    Now I'm recovering from my second surgery in 6 months. I'm out on an unsecured leave. Luckily the no-fault car insurance pays 80% so I get my regular salary. But I don't know if I should rush back so they don't decide to lay me off or stay out as long as the docs will let me so I heal the best.

    We are all from about the same generation. Men worked to take care of their families. Women took care of home and family and worked for the extras. Now we worry about getting up tomorrow.

    12 step programs offer a pretty decent guide to getting your life on track. It's not just for abusers. First thing they do is make you get as healthy as you can. Eat good nourishing meals. Then you work to analyze and accept your situation. Next you ask for help and accept help.

    It's not a lottery prize solution but it can help you get your head and life together as much as possible. When you know where you are you can figure out where you need to go next.

  • Our signatures on a petition wouldn't mean much since we're not medical personnel (in my opinion).

    Please DO keep us posted.

  • I really like my gold star! I smiled thru pain. :)

  • MetalneckMetalneck Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,364
    Your insight into the situation is remarkable! Funny you should mention being "termed" .... because thats exactly what my little company did this past Monday. "things just aren't working out" This after a 55+ hour week on the road -working over the weekend - and getting to work Monday am at 7:00 like a good little employee should.

    Basically I was held out to dry because of an assisgnment someone else didn't complete prior to a deadline.

    This is obviously a mixed blessing as the job - physical and mental demands were driving me to the edge. In a way a hugh weight has been lifted ... 20 others have now shown up in its place - but change (forced or not) is good. I and hopefull that they won't fight my unemployment - (update as soon as I know).

    I have checked in with my doctor this week and asked him one simple question - Do any of his patients with necks like mine still work? He said I have the most messed up neck he knows and no - no one he knows with a neck like mine is able to work. He provided me a document that states I can not work anymore.

    I then contacted my SSD attorney who had to drop my SSD case because I was working. It appears that he will take on my case again and I have a meeting with him on Tuesday next week. My plan this time is to stick it out. If I have to appeal this all the way to the supreme court ... I will ... If I have to live in the streets ... I will ... I will have to file BK and will lose my house ... I have fought the good fight to save the house, family, employment ... all to the detriment of my physical and mental health ..... I can't try to provide for everyone else in my life and need to now concentrate on me.

    I will talk to my SSD attorney about starting a petition. Maybe if I can walk in to the SSD judge with several thousand signatures supporting my getting SSD ... it will matter. Any other thoughts or suggestion are appreciated ... I feel so fortunate that this site exists and that I have the honor of calling you all friends!!

    With my greatest respect for all of you,

    Spine-health Moderator
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  • work all of your life,pay into the system and you have to pull your hair out to try and get it..sad to say but this is not fair to people who really need to be on disability and they make you wait and wait,, it's like a slap in the face..
  • MetalneckMetalneck Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,364
    The saga continues ...

    The news early in the day was that my ex-wife and housemate got laid off her job of 2.5 years. I was supportative as I could be.

    Then the other exciting news of the day .... I got my first denial for my renewed SSD claim. I feel bad for my paralegel because I kinda went balistic at her with my dismay. She said that unfortunately she sees people that shouldn't get approved, be approved and people that shoud be approved be denied all the time.

    The appeal has been filed .... and the waiting game continues ... I did update her with the new pain meds and the new loss of sensation in my left arm ... clarified the side effects of meds and mentioned that they didn't list the 15 other sources of information from the first go around in their determination this time. It is their (SSD's) belief that I can still do unskilled labor ... right .... on enough meds to kill a cat .... and enough anxiety to light up New York and enough depression to fill Boston's deep tunnel project.

    Well I guess the fight continues ... still no insurance, house still in foreclosure, bills still piling up.... On the other hand ... I still have my 2 honor roll kids ... Daughter off to college in a month or so on almost a full scholarship, Son heading to High School ... my big yellow lab, my bed buddie, and the kindness and concern of my friends here. Not sure what tomorrow will bring ... but I am hopeful it won't top today. But I guess I'll worry about tomorrow when it gets here.

    If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future ... you wind up pizzing on today. For all we are guaranteed is this wonderful present ... called the present.

    Thank you all for your past and continued concern-support.

    Hoping your day is tolerable,

    Spine-health Moderator
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  • Dave,

    Well I am not to shocked about the decision, not that you don't have the issues to qualify but given your technical back ground. Did your attorney give you any ideas on the appeal and how long it will take? Hopefully it won't be to long of a wait but I know here on the appeals is up to 18 months and some states up to 2 years, hopefully your attorney has a speedy way to get it through. Hang in there, I know it is hard, but you will get there. Take care.
  • There's a reason for the term "gainful employment". I don't understand what part of that term...they don't understand.

    You've had times in your life that you didn't know how you'd get through it and come out at the other end okay. And you're through the other end now. This is just another one of them. Easy for me to say? I don't know... somehow I got to where I am - though it's all a blur that I'd rather not think about...I'm here.

    You know?

  • MetalneckMetalneck Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,364
    I know ... I am amazed I have made it this far without going absolutely postal (I would assume all the tranks helps with that).

    And Tam your right ... My education and past work is taking in consideration in the fact that they would acually have to pay me a significant monthly benefit.

    Probably easier to approve say a waitress with depression who may receive $600 a month as opposed to a me who would receive about 4 X that. I have worked full time since I was 16 ... and have paid into social security over $67,000 .... they have had plenty of time to "wisely" invest that money to insure that funds are available for me - be-it 10 years or so early.

    Second denials come fairly quickly ... Its the judge hearing that can be up to a year from the 2nd denial.

    Paitence is a virtue - lack of patience is one of my many known character defects.

    If you would add me to your prayer list - steriods would be appreciated.

    You guyz (n gals) are the best!



    I won't make it to 62 so I pray they will pay now.
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  • Hold on a minute: I applied to SS for disability as soon as I felt I couldn't go to work anymore: when I was collecting state disability I got a notice from my bank that deposits for SS would be entering my checking account. It took a total of 5 months from my day of filing. They had called me in once for another test and that was it. I never got a lawyer, so I wonder why you feel so lost with losing one.
    If it worked for me, why can't it work for you? You would have to live for 5 mos on temporary disability. I hope this helps you, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.
  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    Being unable to finacially play the waiting game with SS I forced myself daily to go to work. By the time my 9 hour day was over I would be in so much pain I would come home and go straight to bed. I also was fired from my job Thursday. Was I angry at my employer...no. I am angry about my situation, finances, health ect. I now have lost my health insurance. I have many medical issues and am trying to figure out how I am going to come up with the money for cobra insurance. Ive heard my employer has stated they will contest my unemployment that I had recieved 2 surgeries while in their employment and I will not get anything else from them.Im a single mother and my job was my only income.
    I sit here numb and wonder what the he## Im going to do. I know I need to file for SS, I mean I have proof that my meds and spine affect my work abilities, I was fired for it. 7 surgeries on my spine and still need another one. But you can bet Ill be turned down from the start with SS. Our system has some serious flaws and it seems nothing will be changing soon. I can remember when I was a little girl going with my grandfather to his SS hearing, the judge stating he was not sick enough did not qualify for SS. He died 2 days later from his illness. Thats our wonderful system.
  • I am sorry to hear one more time the system failed, I guess I am one of the lucky few. I applied Dec. 29, 2009 and got my award letter two weeks ago saying I was approved March 1, 2010. I was shocked, our son who has had seizures most of his life was turned down four times before he was approved. I don't know why I was approved so quick, was it my age 60? Or that I had two neck surgeries one year apart almost to the day, 12-8-08 and 12-2-09. C4-7 from the front with plate, cage and 8 screws which failed due to loose screws and the 2nd surgery C4-7 from the back of my neck with rods and my hip bone graft. My pain level and movement limitations force me to leave my job of 17 years and very good pay. I read a lot of the stories on this site and we are the few that unless a person has our pain they cannot relate to us, I have friends who can't understand why I have so much pain with all the med's I take. I tell them I pray you never have to find out. I also pray you will find a positive answer on your next attempt with SSDI.
  • I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this. I tried to get SSD, and went through a total of 5 years of waiting. When I finally got my hearing with the judge, the employment specialist told him there was no way I would be able to become gainfully employed. I received my denial letter a couple weeks later.

    After fighting for so long, I finally gave up. My husband works and we're able to keep up on nearly all of the bills, some of the time.

    The company he works for recently hired a new guy, who's wife went through the SSD thing, as well. She was approved after her attorney had her write a letter to her congressman, telling him her story. Maybe this would help you, as well?

    Our system is screwed up. I have had 5 surgeries in the last 3 years trying to be able to get back to work (one cervical fusion, others for my other problems). I am currently looking at 2-3 more on my hands before I'll be able to work. It's been 7 long years, and I'm tired of struggling. I would have thought the judge would take into consideration that I've been trying to get well, not just sitting around, eating bon bons and popping pain killers while watching the soaps.

    I plan to write my congressman in the hopes that I can get my old case re-opened. Not real hopeful, but it would help us immensely, until I am able to get back to work. It was never my intention (nor any of ours) to end up this sick, but the system treats us like we're all druggies trying to get the government to pay for our daily fixes!

    I'll keep you in my thoughts (all of you!) and hope that tomorrow brings a better day for you!

  • Dave you know this is a screwed up system. Hope it doesnt hurt too much. You know it is not the end of the fight.

    My feeling after reading all these stories is that age is the first thing they look at. The younger you are the harder it is. Then I think they look at wages. Dave I think you are right. Paying you could equal 4 others. And then I think they look at people working more skilled jobs and think they can find something "easier" and keep working. I was a data analyst working a computer desk job. In their minds maybe I could be a receptionist picking up a phone.

    Like successful surgeries I don't think we hear many successful SSDI cases. People don't like to brag about this so we never know who and how they are successful. A former co-workers wife was recently awarded SSDI. She is mid 40's and had severe lower back problems. The doctors don't want to operate so she lives in pain. She assembled eyeglasses so there wasn't much less skilled for her to do. It took them about a year to get through the process. In the end he succeeded by delivering the papers in person with his wife.

    Congratulations to your daughter on graduating from HS and going off to college. And to your son as he enters high school. Proof that life goes on and that good lives side by side with the trials of life.
  • MetalneckMetalneck Island of Misfit toysPosts: 1,364
    and comments and concern ...

    Susan, Jas, Kris, Kat, TAM, Rick, Mic, Brenda (I know your out there) Trasee, TamC, Straker EVERYONE !!

    You folks are simply the best ... one of the only positives about all this Spiney Stuff is that I have had the opportunity and pleasure of kinda getting to know you all.

    Glad to know that even if the Government chooses to be inhuman in its treatment of us (some of us) (Talk about discrimination!) That WE The People are human ... have hearts and minds - that do care.

    Words alone can not explain ...

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  • Dave,

    I've been here as always, you're right! (G) Since this isn't an advertisement, and might help, try going to this link:


    Specifically on here you will see what 'buzz' medical issues they are big on, and the ones they kind of ignore. There are all manner of tips on this site as well. I fully agree with your being puzzled in that some folks that can 'function' get approved immediately and others (I know one that was a quad) that fully NEED this support, fight and lose! Ridiculous! I wish I could help in some way beyond a website, but I can give a cyber *HUGZ*!!!

    Tip-toes off to lurk once again...... :)

    PCTF C4 - T2, Laminectomies C5, C6 & C7. Severe Palsy left arm/hand.
  • Trasee said:
    All I can say is I am sorry. It seems so easy for some lazy cow that is just mental, depressed whatever to get ss and legitimate issues as yours to be dropped. What an asinine system it is. Best of luck.
    I'm sorry but I had to reply to this one. just because someone has SSI SSDI for their mental issues or depression does not make them a lazy cow. I have had major depressive disorder most of my life and PTSD for most of my life. It is not easy to wake up every night swearing your house is on fire or someone is attacking your child. Or to throw all of the sharp objects and pills out because you do not trust yourself to not commit suicide. Or to be shuttled between 30 differant meds in a year because never can find that right cocktail. Mental pain in physical pain hurt just the same. It's attitudes like yours that make it difficult for someone with MI to accept it and get better. And most often times they get sicker and end up in hospitals or worse. So it is never "just mental" Or "Just depressed" these are real illnesses. That being said, to MetalNeck, I hope you can get your benifits. It is awful that people claim to have an illness or disability get it then go work for cash while getting paid by the government. It takes so much to get SSI and SSDI. I tried once but was turned down so said the heck with it. Should have tried again. I hope the best for you. It's just not fair that you are expected to sit with 2 kids and not be able to make a living waiting on the gov to get their heads out of their hineys and help you.
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