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Bad Day, week Updated, Again

iowarobiniiowarobin Posts: 1,268
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:42 AM in Depression and Coping
I try to be an upeat person normally, but lately this whole recovery from everything has just got me down. I have been having some pain in my temples and pressure on head and lately has caused a few incidents of blurring of eyes. Yesterday was one of the worst, my vision was doubleing. So I called the Dr that operated on my head. He wasnt there. Nurse called me back and said, he wasnt there but would call me back asap.
Yesterday came and went and now its past noon and no call. It is starting to freak me out, as the pain in temple is steady and pressure on head is constant. I know it is probably nothing severe, but it still is somewhat scarey. Especially the eye thing.
Yesterday was a tough one for me. I had this really empty feeling inside, but I didnt call anyone. I just feel that my friends probably get sick of me having problem after problem. I just couldnt think of anyone to cry to. Which made me feel even worse. I guess I just had to type this out. Let it out, cause I know that you all understand. I am so sick of it all, no job, no money, just Dr visits and pills.
I talked to Hubby last night and told him how empty I felt. I dont know, but with all thats going on or should I say wrong, maybe I need a up in my anti depression meds. I just hate to do that. If I have another fusion, and things get better, I will be better. Just hate the hollow feeling. And March in Iowa is so gray and grim and dirty. Dont help it either. Any happy thoughts? Love, Robin


  • Keep calling your Dr. The squeaky wheel gets the oil so to say...After the surgery you had on your eye I would even go to the ER to check it out they may want to CT you or general assessment. Hug and saying a prayer for you now. O:) Charry
    DDD of lumbar spine with sciatica to left hip,leg and foot. L4-L5 posterior disc bulge with prominent facets, L5-S1 prominent facets with a posterior osteocartilaginous bar. Mild bilateral foraminal narrowing c-spine c4-c7 RN
  • I'm sorry you are having such a crappy time. You deserve a break from all of this pain.

    It might be a good idea to ask for an increase in your depression meds to help you get through this very rough patch.

    You can always PM me and vent/cry away if you don't want to call a friend. Sometimes its much easier to unload on a "web friend", especially one whose been through some of the same stuff.

    I'll pray for better times ahead for you,

    Best wishes, Lisa
  • As I sit here sweating, from getting ready to go see my PM doctor, I'm going to share a very silly thought that sometimes crosses my mind.

    Okay... are ya ready for this one?

    It's very, very, silly... but, something I have actually considered.

    I think we would make terrific ventriliquists! It's something we could do every day and it won't cause any undue stress to our bodies. I got the idea from watching Two and a Half Men. Alan has a dummy in a few episodes, so I thought... why not? It could be anything from a sock to a stuffed animal, etc.? We could share all of our feelings with it and even beat the thing up, once in a while? (Wait, maybe we need to have a beat up one... in addition to the regular one?).

    The creativity is endless!!!

    Okay... I need to go now, but I shall check back in later on.

    Hugs to you, Robin. It will all be okay, I promise.

    Tammy >:D<
  • Hey there Robin,

    I think the 'norm' for feeling blue is 2 weeks - if you are still empty by then, then yes, do consider getting an increase. But... sometimes I think 2 weeks is FOREVER!!! It's so hard when you don't feel you can do anything and you can't talk to anyone and it's all just more of the same pain and stress and not getting better like you would like to! So, my non-professional opinion is to do what you think is best, wait if you think you'll be okay, but don't if you think it's too long.

    About the eye issue - that I would be a swueaky wheel on! It's just more phone calls after all. Don't worry about it being bothersome to the nurses etc - they get so busy, I wouldn't want you to fall through a crack and get forgotten. You certainly aren't forgotten here!!!

    Is there an old movie, tv series, or book favorite that never fails to make you laugh? I'd be for looking to stockpile some faves for these grey days.
  • :D

    After reading your post, I had the thought that maybe your head pressure and eye blurring is a reaction to allergies.

    THe pollen count is high today and it's windy -- recipe for misery for me. My head hurts and I my sinuses are swollen. Sometimes I get the "head swimmy" feeling and blurred vision.

    Just a thought that since you've had recent surgery, you may be more sensitive to allergens in the air.

    Sweetie, you just hang in there, and vent away whenever you need to. I wish there was a "911" emergency friend that we could all call on when our emotions are just plain worn out.

    Tammy is so cute -- I like the dummy idea -- at least there would be someone there when we talk to ourselves (LOL!). It's such a tough time for everyone these days -- HUMOR is a must!

    Sending you a >:D< my friend,

    Feel better soon and hope the doctor's office calls you back soon.

  • I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so down. You have had more health issues than many people combined so no wonder you are having a hard time! You are right about that crummy weather this time of year...yucky!

    I was thinking maybe you should just call/visit your regular physician for now since the specialist hasn't called back. It might be something your dr can help you with or help you get an appt with the dr he feels you might need to see.

    You always have your friends here to listen and understand what you are going through. I wish I could say or do something to make you feel better.
    Take care and keep visiting us until you get some answers and feel better!

  • I really suggest going to the ER, it doesn't sound like a normal headache and with your previous eye problem, I would err on the side of caution.
    About the depression, i'm right there with you. Not ready to talk about my appt today, but I understand exactly how you feel.
    Just keep venting, we're here to catch you when you fall.
  • After waiting two days, and symptoms not any better, I made a appt with my primary Dr. Go at 10:40 this am.
    I called 2 times yesterday,and nurse on call said she would talk to the other nurse that said she was gonna talk to my Dr, and call me back. No call back. I emailed Dr and let him know what was up, and maybe he will respond. But at this point my temples or something is swollen cause my glasses bow is making a indent in my head. Decided time to go to plan B.
    So will go to primary and see what he has to say. Just waiting to see what it next!!!!!
    Will post when I get back
  • Dear Robin,

    I'm very glad you are being checked out this morning.

    You'll be in my thoughts and prayers... and I hope whatever this is, subsides real soon.


  • Posy when you are ready, we'll be waiting for you, hopefully with good news!

  • Well I had blood tests a CT yesterday for what he thought was Temporal Arteritis. It is inflammation to your arteries and veins. Test didn't show up anything, but after reading a article from U of i. Not sure tests were right. Anyway, no bleeding in brain or head, no pressure they can see by CT, and Dr is concerned and has me going to Neurologist at U of I on March 24. Says somethings not right, and I am glad he is taking me serious. He always does,cause I always have something wrong or he doesn't see me.
    So next week is discogram on Friday at Mpls, Next week is Neurologist at U of I, then next week is Ortho at Mn. So I guess, I should get stuff figured out.
    Thanks to all my great friends here. Dr told me if sight does something weird and doesn't change to Immediately go to ER. So I guess, I do feel it was good to see him. Still having pain in temples and swelling, and he could even see it, so hopefully they can figure it out.
    Gonna take it easy over weekend and just be resting and chilling out.
    Again THANKS to all of you, you have been the thread that has held me together this past week. Love you all, Robin
  • This post is for everyone and it concerns Dr.s. I am a registered nurse and I work with lots of docs on the busy hospital floor. The same docs I see sailing around trying to treat all their patients before midnight have probably just finished seeing all their patients at their private practice. While they may sound a little harassed at times when you call over and over again...it is something you have to KEEP DOING. Call every day. Beginning of the day, right after lunch or especially at the end of the day for best results. Calling several times in one day is not recommended unless they direct you too, but calling daily until you get help is absolutely fine. Medical staff are humans, and overworked humans at that. We forget to return calls and deliver messages sometimes, especially when it is busy but you should never just sit and wait for us to remember. Charry is right...you gotta squeak your wheel if you want some grease. Especially with symptoms that are truly troubling or new.
  • Robin,
    Chronic pain patients endure so much in coping everyday and it is understandable that at times we all have those feeling of despair and succumb to the tragedy of it all. It takes courage and resilience to endure this all the time and we tend to look at the things we cannot do rather than those hard fought achievements.

    What do you like doing and do you get the opportunity to do any of it, are you the one who has sole roles and responsibility, what things do you not do now that you would like to do again, perhaps make a list of 5 things just for you and ask for some help from others for you to do them.

    I had three young children at the time of my operation and all that responsibility was placed on my wife’s shoulders, it was hard and I will always appreciate the care provided and increased role she takes from me and asks for nothing in return. It is a hard and difficult position and she would pass it off as normal, when that is far from the truth.

    Some weeks ago I sat in one place for some 40 hours without moving at all, those were long days and night, I could have not done this without support and encouragement from my wife and children, I thank them.

    I am glad your diagnosis is ongoing and hopefully they will find the reason behind your current symptoms.

    How are you today?

    Take care and be kind to yourself.


  • Glad to see they have the wheels turning to figure out what is going on.

    My thoughts go with you.

  • I now am thinking the discogram wont happen this week. I posted in Ins section, they have to review to see if there is anywhere in Iowa that can do a weighted discogram in Iowa. Even though they paid in in network a 1 1/2 years ago, as no one not even U of I could do it.
    It means another month of waiting for the appointment, and I was trying to deal with the pain and not increase or change my meds. Now I am not sure I can do it. The added stress of this whole thing has me tense which doesn't help at all.
    I have had my share of aggravation with this insurance co and it just keeps going. You would think that they would figure out that I am not gonna give up. That's what they bank on. I haven't given up before when I took it to the state insurance commissioner, and I am not gonna now.
    Sometimes I just don't know if I have the fight left in me. It is getting so old. I know there are alot of people on this site who have dealt with pain longer than I have, and I really don't know how they do it. My heart hurts today, emotionally. I just am so depressed, I was so ready to get things rolling. Take Care, and pray that a miracle will happen and they will get on it and let my appointment happen. But I know that is a miracle, cause they only care about the bottom line. =((
  • I feel for you, this must be so frustrating for you.
    My advice, take what meds you need to to decrease your pain as it may be a while before you get the discogram, hopefully not though.
    I will keep you in my thoughts.
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