Today, after being released from PT on Monday, I felt good. Not having been out of the house yesterday, I decided it was a good day to go out, do a little shopping, planning some meals, going out to lunch in addition to my usual Wally-walking (in the snow this morning - Wally's so fun in the snow) - it all sounded right up my alley. A good day, nice long walk, fun talk with my friend on the phone, a little game playing, some reading, a good day. I even got excited buying the new Avitar Blue Ray DVD - something to savor for the perfect night.
I decided that I'd make hubby and my favorite ham and egg enchilada casserole so we'd have leftovers for our lunches the rest of the week, or even dinner when we didn't feel like cooking later in the week. I did this while he's out at church band practice, just me and my kitchen, but told him to call me when he's on his way home and I'll make us some sloppy joes for dinner and save the casserole. Good idea, right?
Half way through my casserole, which includes a bit of prep work chopping onions and peppers, beating eggs, etc. (that's a fun sous chef activity), my back started hurting so bad that I had to sit and wait out finishing the casserole while groaning through Jeopardy.
Now I sit here, in my comfies on my recliner, having made the decision that the ham and egg enchilada casserole will have to be dinner tonight because it was all I could do to just get the da-- thing done. So, I once again tried to have a full day and ended up with less.
I so hate this great feeling we get as chronic pain people, having the motivation but being sidelined by our spines. I really don't want any "poor thing" or "that so sucks" from you guys, I just want you all to know that you're not alone in trying and failing. Personally, I'm just ticked off. I don't care any more what they say about "You'll feel better when..." crud. I'm sick of this and I'm just venting to my spiney family who know exactly what I'm talking about, how I feel and how I want to scream into a pillow. I'd punch something (other than Wally) if I knew it wouldn't hurt.
Once again, plans out the window, butt in the chair, food in the fridge that has to stay there that was supposed to be dinner, but has to wait until tomorrow.
But, at least I have my little Wally who hugs and kisses me when I ache so bad and my hubby who doesn't care what we have for dinner, just that I gave it my best.
Guys, we need each other for times like this. Who else can we vent to who understands the frustration and anger that comes with this crap?
Thanks for listening.
Cath (aka #1 Grumpy - give it up for me tonight Graham.)