I am just getting wore out physically and emotionally. I try everyday, but it just seems to get worse. I have siatica down my butt and hip from spinal fusion, and severe arthritis in my big joints. That part is worse with weather, and ours has been cold and rainy lately. It is such a struggle to get in to work everyday and it makes me so mad that they won't let me work from home during the morning hours. It is because the other women at work would be upset. It is so frustrating! I did it for two months after shoulder surgery and did a great job and felt so much better - even after major surgery. As a government employee of 31 years, you would think the government would help their employees - but no, they don't. I am also in financial turmoil and I think I am ready to dump my husband. I told him today that when he stands and screams at me like a five year old having a tantrum, I wish to God that he would drop dead from a stroke so that I would NEVER have to hear it again! God I hate it! He is horrible. He talks that way to our son and it just makes me cringe. Well, i shouldn't say talk, he screams and screeches, it is sickening. As soon as we get some financial issues taken care of, I am going to go see my lawyer again and see where I stand. I would be gone now, except I cannot leave my horse behind. I raised him from a baby and I know that sounds stupid, but he is 18 now and has his own issues. I could not leave him, or sell him. He is mine for life. We have such a bond, I have never experienced anything like it. ANyway, I guess I just wanted to unload. I don't really have girlfriends to talk too, and this is getting hard. I wish with all my heart my husband would learn to speak like a grown up civilized adult - if he could do that, I know we could work things out. I am almost 50 and I am not going to listen to that belittling screeching voice the rest of my life over nothing - that's for sure!