I've been taking my anti-inflammatories, doing my back exercises (when it doesn't hurt too much to move) and practicing posture adjustments, but last night I woke up in blinding pain. By the time I got to the ER it had faded to its usual level, but I accepted a shot of painkillers anyway, fearing that it would come back. They gave me a prescription for flexeril but I'm in too much pain to walk to the pharmacy. My husband's at work (he had to go to work on almost no sleep because of stupid defective me) and I don't have friends in the area I can call.
All the doctors I've seen have just sent me out the door with a prescription and exercises. My core is now strong enough that I can do advanced yoga poses (at least, I could before the most recent flare-up - that was months ago) but they keep telling me that my core muscles are just weak. It doesn't make any sense and no one's taking me seriously. I don't even know what causes the pain because no doctor sits with me long enough to explain what's going on physiologically - they just tell me I have "back pain." It's like if you don't have a shard of bone jutting out of your back, then you must be making it up.
I'm so tired and worn down by this. It's been years, on and off, always striking just when I think I've finally shaken it. Please, I just need some compassion. I need someone to take me seriously. I need someone to tell me that this isn't all in my head, or that I could solve this silly little problem if I weren't so lazy. The pain is warping my whole life and nothing I do helps.