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so sad too

mrsblood312mmrsblood312 Posts: 14
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:48 AM in Depression and Coping
hello all
Iam not sure if joinning this forum will help but Iam feeling so alone in my struggle today. Ive been in pain with my lumbar spine since 2001 my first laminectomy. In 2004 they went back in saying I generated so much scar tissue at L4-5 it could be called "failed" . In 2005 a driver rolled my SUV while running a red light and I found myself in surgery number 3 this time with a fusion at 4/5 and an ADR at L3-4.
In the beginning friend , family and even my employer supported me on my road to recovery. but today it seems they are all so tired of hearing how painful this is when Iam have difficult time. I feel so alone in this battle. While the doctors have tons of medicines to get a person relying on to get through a functional day they have NOTHING to help the spirit deal with this for a lifetime.
Anyone feel like me?


  • I totally feel like you! My family are not even supporting me with my up coming fusion surgery. This is the third and there losing interest fast! Welcome to Spine Health.. This is a wonderful place to chat and meet great peeps who know what you are going though.


    >:D< >:-D<
  • By coming here, you are definitely not alone. We all understand your pain, and your frustrations with people who don't have a clue what it's like to live with chronic pain, day in and day out. If you type in "Letters to the Normals" in the search tool, it will bring you to posts that has a lovely letter in it that you could maybe show to your family and friends who don't understand. There are also many here that don't talk about their pain with "normals" even their families, because they feel the same as you do. Anyways, I'm glad that you found your way here, but not for the reason. Have a good look through all of the forums, and even under the conditions and treatments tabs, as there is a lot of great information. Welcome to S-H, and take care!
    APROUD CANADIANveteranButNOTa doctor, my thoughts are my own
  • I joined spine-health for the exact reason you did, so welcome! Sometimes, we cover up our pain because we don't want to be "annoying" to our friends and family who have heard our complaints many times. Truth is that you should express your pain as much as you can. Being in touch with your body is crucial to recovery and getting past this. If people in your life don't like listening to you, then there are hundreds of people on here who love it! We're all on here to connect and relate to each other. You should be so proud of yourself for going through so much. You owe it to yourself and your body! Sorry if I'm sounding all corny and trying to inspirational!
  • There are a few different ways to find support. This forum is a great start but it is only a start.

    First and most importantly you need to talk to your doctor. He needs to know how you are doing emotionally and socially as well as physically. There are meds that can help lift your spirits.

    Second find a local support group. Instead of constantly talking to your friends and family who don't understand you can talk to fellow sufferers who do understand. This lets you continue your normal relationship with your friends. Local support groups can also lead to finding local services and volunteer activities. And if you can't get out of the house there are some that match you up by phone with someone.

    Third is to write it down. Instead of boring your friends and family with your "pain of the day" start a journal. This let's you express your feelings. Then you can look back to see if there is a pattern to your pain.

    And find a new hobby. Distraction is one of the best pain relievers. So find something that you enjoy and can do with whatever limitations you may have.

    I know we all share the complaint that friends and coworkers and family don't want to listen to us. Well can you blame them?? Think of your old grandma who tells the same story over and over...nothing puts us to sleep faster.

    When you were 18 years old you took charge of your future. Made plans, made decisions, decided what made you happy. Time to find that 18 year old inside you again. Life is what you make it.
  • When I turned 18 I was 2 weeks graduated from high school.

    I drank cheap wine, cheap beer, did a few shall we say enlightening substances and tried very little to get a job...I made my money where it could be scraped together and what little bit my mom would give me.

    To awaken that particular 18 year old in this body would just plumb scare the poo-poo out him.

    I find it quite difficult to turn a corner as it seems all around expect me to be the same as always. Doesn't matter what I tell them. It only leads to increasing my fear that I may indeed be slightly insane... 8}

    I agree that finding outside support is crucial.

    Doctors and those around us can indeed do what mrsblood suggests. They tend to point a scalpel and a bottle of pills at us and "poof" we should be fine. For me it has been 4.5 years since I entered the road less traveled. Those around me seldom ask how I feel anymore. After all, its been so long, I MUST be better!

    Frustration is a place we will all visit. The key I do believe is being able to get the recliner through the door!

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